we live in USA.last days we were out country for visiting my parents in pakistan.in my absence my husband did sex on internet n one day he called prostitute for overnight.he didnt tell me anything.he came to pakistan n we came back. we have 2 daughters.our marriage has completed approx.7yrs.when came back to our home i saw credit cards statements in which my husband used these credit cards "tickets clubs"i go through net n find what is this club n i knew that its club for mens. i asked my hubby what is all this??first he refused but after cold war between me n hubby he admitted all his behaviour....i dont want to see him but for the sake of my kids we live together.he asked forgiveness several times but my heart is not melting.so plzzzzzzzzz tell me what should i do.i love my husband
2007-09-10 07:57:21 · 27 answers · asked by maani 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have 2 choices...forgive him, or divorce him.
If you can't trust him, why continue to punish yourself? If you're not happy the children can see that. Why put them in an unhappy home with a cheating father? It's not good for them.
Do what you feel is best for you and your children, but think with your head, not your heart.
2007-09-10 08:03:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
You should not put up with his behavior. You said, "For the sake of my kids we live together." I say---for the sake of your kids, get some professional help or leave him. I hope you understand that as parents, we model behavior for our children. They learn more from how we live than what we tell them. By staying with your husband you are setting your girls up to be attracted to the same kind of man that your husband is. Is that what you want for them? Do you wish that someday their husbands will be unfaithful to them? I don't think you do. Your heart is not melting for a reason, and it's because your husband's behavior is inexcusable. I know that your situation is tragic, and it is very sad, but this isn't your fault. It is still possible for your marriage to recover from this, but you can't do it alone. It will require lots of counseling and some genuine change in your husband, and a lot of forgiveness on your part. It's hard for people to change though, so you must decide if you will risk giving him another chance or not.
2007-09-10 08:24:19 · answer #2 · answered by mt75689 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could get over it, or get rid of him those are your 2 options. But I would have to say from a male prospective in 14 yrs of marriage that I have never slept with another woman, but if I did it would be for sex, not love!!! I know to a woman this sounds stupid, but its true, I love my wife, & I know that if the right woman climbed into my bed I would probably sleep with her. But on the other hand my wife would be the first person that I would tell, only because she is my best friend. She wouldn't be hurt or mad because she would know it was just sex, not emotional. No were not swingers or anything like it we have not slept around in 14 yrs & if we did we would tell the other. So the real question is can you trust your husband not to be messing around anymore (possibly bringing home a STD) & can you give him enough sex to keep him satisfied, not that your not satisfing him but if he leaves home with a loaded gun it could go off, just unload that gun every chance you get & remember your a lady on the street But your always a hooker in bed, & he should never stray again ( he must be checked for STD's before you do anything take no chances if he has used a sex worker)
2007-09-10 08:16:53 · answer #3 · answered by Businessman 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My Gosh! did the women stay at YOUR house??? slept in YOUR bed???
You haven't your back turned 5 minutes and he does that???
Pay a woman for sex??? Take the risk of passing any STD on?? So, say if he were to pass you AIDS, what about your children?? Who'd look after them?
It's really up to you if you can find it in your heart to forgive and trust again.
But why a prostitute?? Was he that desperate for sex?? Or what does he like doing that only a prostitute will do?
How can he assure you that this will never happen again??
Good luck.
I personally wouldn't be able to let go of that one. For me it'd be a deal breaker. But, again, it's really a personal issue, and it's really what you can cope with and what you think is best for your children.
2007-09-10 08:13:03 · answer #4 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start saving and then get out. She needs a life because she is a whack job. You need your own life that she's not controlling. Tell your husband that now that you are both grown up with a child it's time to get your own family/household going with you two in charge. It might be rough in the beginning but at least you'll be left with some dignity and pride. Good luck.
2016-05-21 06:01:54 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
murphy's law? when the cat's away the mouse will play even if they love you, your kids and your marriage? yes, he broke a vow. he might do it again if you go away again. i actually believe it was him punishing you for leaving him alone. does it make it right? no. and now you dont trust to leave him alone to visit family. now you become trapped in this life and become bitter. been there, done that. forgive...and he will do it again. does it make you want to be intimate with him? probably not, but you'll do it because you love him and you obey. this is now your life. hope to God that your husband will never do it again, that he will be so repentant as to make you forget his hurtful thing and make you fall in love with him and trust him again. Good if he does, Sad if he doesnt. He made a choice. now you can live with it or not. i wish you well. (after my ex did this more than once...i divorced)
2007-09-10 08:07:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i think you guys should take a little time off like he goes and lives somewhere else for a little bit and you wait until he can prove to you that he will be loyal and never cheat on you again and if he does this then maybe you should forgive him but i wouldnt he cheated on you for crying out loud. I know you have two daughters but they would just see that their parents are mad at eachother and will think you guys dont love eachother anymore so just tell them their dad moved out for a little while. BUT DONT FORGIVE HIM RIGHT AWAY.. then he will think you will always just forgive you right away and keep cheating on you and if you think you should get a divorce then get one but you should totally make him move out of your house for a few months and let him prove to you he will never cheat on you again
2007-09-10 08:05:36 · answer #7 · answered by i'm god 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think anyone here can tell you what to do. The main thing is to care for your daughters right now. If they sense you and your husband are not getting along, it will not be good. You say you love him but yet you do not want to forgive him so either you can move away or stay. I think for now you need time to think.
2007-09-10 08:06:03 · answer #8 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never knew people could do sex on the Internet. You know I always say if people put themselves out of the way to find out things they will. You had no right going through his credit card statements. If you love him as you say, you will forgive him, but you shouldn't stay with him for the sake of your daughters.
2007-09-10 08:06:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Only you can decide, this is not the first time, you just caught him...... How can you live with someone who lies to you, what about marriage vows, he kisses his children's lips after he has been with a prostitute. What bothers me is that he would not tell you the truth, if you stay with him, he will do it again, because he knows you won't leave him.
2007-09-10 08:06:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋