Right age to have a baby?

Question

My niece is 19, and she comes and talks to me about everything. She has a good job, she has a good head, on her shoulders. She just got married in May of this year to a wonderful guy thats 23 and she came and asked me how I would feel about her having a baby. I feel like there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to have a child at her age. They can fully support the baby financially and emotionally. Her mom says she is too young to be planning a family. I think she is responsible enough to handle a child---hell, she's married and thats handful enough! lol! What do you guys think?

She has already went to Community college. She grauated high school when she was barely 17. She is a nursing assistant at a hospital and she says thats all she wants to do for now. I am supportive because I feel like she can always go back and further her education.

Answer 1

Age in years is not as important as maturity. She sounds like she's ready to have a family. Personally I see nothing wrong with their starting a family.

There are people much older who are not stable or mature enough to have children, but they do it anyway.

If she feels the time is right, it's her decision. It's good that you listen and support her. A good aunt is worth a mint.

Answer 2

I don't think there is a "right age" to have a baby. Some people are ready earlier than others. She's married, she has an income and insurance. She seems like a mature person. What does her age have to do with anything? I'm 23 and married and having my first child, and I'm plenty responsible enough, but I also know a lot of people who are still acting like teenagers at my age. Tell her that it's her decision and she shouldn't be so concerned with other people's opinions.

p.s. I know you already said she has been to community college, but even if she hadn't, a college education is not the most important thing in the world. She doesn't *have* to have one if she doesn't want one. Maybe she wants to stay at home with her children instead of work. Again, it's no one else's place to tell her what she "should" do before having a baby, since she's already married, etc.

Answer 3

It sounds to me like she is in a perfectly good place in her life to start a relationship. I wouldnt' say its necessarily about age but about maturity, finances, good job things like that. I am 19, I'll be 20 in november. My honey is 21 and we are 5 months along with our first. We have been together for over 3 years, both have good jobs. He is a commercial fisherman, we live in Alaska but also has EMT training under his belt to fall back on if the fishing industry ever really falls. I have been living on my own since I was 15 and enlisted in the army at 17 and through the military have recieved enough nursing training to have a great job at a hospital. There are a lot of people that don't think the baby we have on the way is a great thing, but then those are the peoplet hat don't know anything about our life or about our jobs etc. The ones that are around us a lot and know how great we are doing don't think its a problem. I wish the best for your niece! God Bless you all!

Answer 4

I've always said that age has nothing to do with it, it's all about maturity. I have a friend who had her first baby at 16, her and her husband have been together since and just had their 2nd baby 7 years later. But then I also know of people in their 30's and 40's who have no sense of responsibility for their kids.

I think she sounds like a responsible young lady and should be grateful to have somebody like you she can trust, but ultimately it will be her choice.

If it'll make you and her Mom feel better why don't you talk to her about other things she can still do before giving her full attention to a baby? Like traveling and going to college. It won't be talking her out of having a baby but maybe she can see that it will be ok to wait a little.

Answer 5

I agree with you! If they are settled, can afford to raise the baby comfortably, and know they will shower the baby with undying love and dedication, I say rock on. People should not base their decisions on what is considered "the norm" anyhow, nor sway their life plans because of other people's nay-say. If they dont have any plans on "needing to live their lives out first (i.e; getting clubbing, parties and travel out of their system), whats the point in waiting? I was NEVER into that stuff myself (minus traveling), so I wanted a committed relationship and family early on.

My hubby and I are 25 & 27 with baby #1 due next month, but if we were younger, I believe we would be in the same mindset as your niece.

Cheers to you for being so supportive to your niece~

Megz
34 weeks preggo

Answer 6

If she's in a loving stable relationship and able to support a child emotionally, mentally, and financially, I don't see why at her age she wouldn't be able to have a baby.

I would just remind her though that she is only young once. Do her and her husband want to travel at all? Because that will be difficult once a baby comes along. Though she may be in a stable relationship, I would suggest she live her own life for a while, have fun and be young with her husband, before she has a child.

If it's what she really wants though, then she should go for it. It's her life.

Answer 7

I had my daughter at 19 but I wasn't married or financially stable. I was a junior in College when I had my daughter. now I'm 25 and she is 6yrs old. I'm am now able to fully take care of her by myself but I had to finish college and get my BA which I did. Your niece it's a nursing assistant. I would tell her to be a nurse before she goes and have children because children are very expensive and time consuming you need to be able to fully provide for them. It was hard for me to do it at 19. Although it's easier now it's still has it's ups or downs. Kids get sick, and they need from their parents.

Answer 8

If she is supporting herself and in a good relationship and they both want a baby than why not? If that's what makes her happy. Some 19 year olds only think partying and having a crazy lifestyle is what makes them happy so that's what they choose to do, others mature faster.

Answer 9

I don't think age really matters.

What matters is,is if you're mature enough to handle the responsibility of having a child and having it depend on you for the next 18+ years,and have the funds to support it so it has a good life.

Answer 10

I would encourage her to wait a few years but support her if she chooses to anyways. Marriage is not an indication of future stability but the ability to get an education and having time to grow as a person is. No one has their life figured out at 19. You go thru sooooo many changes in your early 20's. What's the rush?