I watch this kid whose mom is married to an abusive man. She refuses to leave this nut because he has her scared to death of leaving. He has threatened to burn her parents home down-also he told her if she left she would lose her son. The son is 7 years old and has serious issues with soiling his pants. She comes to pick her boy up and tells me everything this man does. She said he uses drugs-he drinks and refuses to work. She works as a manager at a fast food place. I have told her she needs to leave. I have showed her in the phone book and online resources she could tap into for help and support in leaving him. I don't know what else to do for her. She thinks she is doing the right thing for her son by staying. What else could or can I do to convince her she needs to take her son and leave? I worry about them both.
2007-09-10 05:52:19 · 26 answers · asked by Stefbear 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can turn him in. The state will take the child from her. In this case that is what is best though. She is not protecting her child. She loves her child but she isn't protecting him.
2007-09-10 05:56:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-01-19 18:43:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...first off I'm sorry that you have to deal with a situation like this. I had to at one point, and it's really scary. Honestly, if you have proof that the man is abusive (bruises on the kid or the wife), I would call authorities. She is obviously too scared to do anything on her own, and if she doesn't get out of that situation soon, her or her child will end up dead. I know it's harsh, but it's true. People who are abusive don't just one day stop being abusive. Unless she does something, it will just continue.
She could always leave one day while he's at work and go to a women's shelter. There, she can notify the authorities of what is happening and get a much needed restraining order. I know a lot of women's centers also offer counseling to the children.
Hope this helps and good luck with everything.
2007-09-10 05:59:56 · answer #3 · answered by Smash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you may want to tell her that she has a responsibility to her child before anything else. It is not normal for a child that age to soil his pants. There could be psychological reasons for it, or it could be consistent with abuse. Either way, she needs to find a way out, and soon. Suggest that she get the school involved. They have many avenues and support ideas, and they may even intervene without her permission if the boy continues to show any signs of abuse, be it mental or physical. At that point hopefully she will quit being afraid and do what is right for her son and herself.
2007-09-10 06:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by bjstree 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure where you live so the laws and available services might be different from region to region. I live in Alberta canada, and you could start by being a whistle blower. Talk to the police, and child social services. If the child is in danger a thrid party can make a report and the authorities can start a file and investigation. Unfortunatly until your freind stands up, it might continue.
Maybe print off some information regarding services .... I really hope she gets help. She is not helping her son. This stuff really makes me mad!
2007-09-10 05:59:48 · answer #5 · answered by scojoc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so sad because my sister was just in the same relationship. Her husband did horrific things to her and now her kids have nightmares every nite. The mom is scared to leave because she don't want to lose her kids the best thing for you to do is tell her that if she don't leave their whole family could be killed. once she is out maybe he can get some help all you can really do is talk to her and tell her to do it for her kids. Good Luck
2007-09-10 05:58:20 · answer #6 · answered by moringurl20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her son is already responding to the abusive environment by soiling his pants... she isnt doing the kid any favors by staying.
The woman might be scared to get out on her own, as well as scared of HIM too.
She could use a good therapist to help her develop her self-esteem, learn some coping skills, and to move forward in her life..
YOU can't do it for her. And if this is bothering you, let her know you're tired of discussing it, and won't until she makes an effort to help herself.
Sometimes we have to give others conditions... dont' stress yourself out over it... of course, i do see how you'd be very concerned for the child.
take care.
2007-09-10 05:57:40 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its going to get worse, if she wants to get out you can call the police on him and explain to them exactly what he's about and his threats to her family as well. You see hes caused damage to the boy so you must let the authority know emedialty to save the boys life, or she could take him down herself as self defense but she needs to be that strong women for that boy. So many cases i have read about woman being with these abusive men and its the childrens life that get taken away because these women wont do anything. PLEASE call the police or he will kill that child
SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP - SHE CANNOT DO IT ON HER OWN - THAS WHUY SHE SAID SOMETHING - HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO, READ BETWEEN THE LINES
SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP
SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP
SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP
What is wrong with the world, you dont just say "well if she doesnt want to leave well she doesnt need help" Like Kitty, screw you, how you gonna say that.
and calling the protective services is wrong, she's not the one doing the abusing, SHE"S TRAPPED AND SHE CANT GET OUT UNLESS YOU HELP HER< SHE'S FROZEN
SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP
NOW IF THE POLICE GET INVILVE AND HELP HER AND SHE STILL CHOOSES TO GO BACK WITH HIM THEN YOU CALL PROTECTIVE SERVICES OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL THEY TAKE THAT CHILD AWAY
DONT GIVE UP ON THAT CHILD NO MATTER WHAT
2007-09-10 06:09:55 · answer #8 · answered by starp415 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell her that by staying her son is privvy to learning all kinds of bad habits and she needs to leave. take more of a hard line with her to push her a bit to make a move. call one of those agencies that helps women like her and ask them what they suggest you do. there really isn't much you can do except try to be more convincing that she needs to leave. show her books and other education regarding the effect of abusive parents on children. once she makes up her mind to leave, then call one of those agencies and ask them what she should do as he will probably not want to leave the premesis and will give her a hard time.
2007-09-10 06:08:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just easier said than done. I'm pretty sure he has her mind in the palm of his hands. She knows that it's wrong or else she wouldn't be telling you. She will leave when she is ready--there really is nothing you can do. Read about co-dependency, and it may help to give you a better understanding of why she can't just up-and-leave.
2007-09-10 06:04:25 · answer #10 · answered by headstr8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep talking to her....she really does need to leave...this man will eventually kill her....She is endangering not only her life but her son's life as well by staying with this evil man...There is something seriously wrong with her son who continues to soil his pants.....he is scared to death of his father.
2007-09-10 05:57:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋