i wanted to tell someone very dear to me that his sudden distant treatment is hurting me. he said he is all right, just busy. instead of telling him am hurting for being ignored , i just told him, "i understand you" and said nothing. he was grateful for that and even said he is happy that am always there for him. was i right for telling him i understand him when in fact deep within am hurting?
2007-09-10 05:24:47 · 15 answers · asked by stel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no, you weren't right. only because you didn't tell him the truth. if you are hurting and you want him to know, you are the only person who can tell him.
2007-09-10 05:29:34 · answer #1 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long has he been ignoring you? If it has been a long enough period that it is bothering you, then I would have said something to him. The fact that you already told him you were fine with it says that you two have had a conversation about his behavior already. You pretty much gave him leaway to keep acting the same way.
If it comes up again, tell him you understand him and that he is busy right now, but it is starting to hurt your feelings that you haven't spent any time together.
2007-09-10 12:33:07 · answer #2 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do need to let him know what is going on with your feelings as well. Diplomacy is key. You know he is appreciative of your support so start there. Ask him if there is some he would like to talk about, and that talking to someone often helps. Even if it is just to listen. If it needs to go further, tell him you understand that he needs space right now but that you don't want it to become an issues in the relationship.
2007-09-10 12:37:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is more here than meets the eye.
You do need to tell hiim you understand where he is at... but that it does hurt your feelings. And if there comes a time that the two do not balance out... then you need to move away from this relationship.
I currently have the same situation... but he is aware that I understand his circumstances, but that when he ignores me or pushes me away.. it hurts my feelings. It was a hard conversation to have, but I made it clear that I was his friend, but I also had to look out for my feelings.
Friends and love can get complicated. Whether or not you think it is love... both platonic and romantic!
Good Luck!
<><
2007-09-10 12:33:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mitch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really do understand, you were right to tell him so for the time being. However, you can only be expected to take being ignored for so long. Give him some time, then let him know that you also have needs which include someone being there for you.
2007-09-10 12:36:13 · answer #5 · answered by sundsqk321@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has he been busy doing? Is he seriously busy, or is he just trying to brush you off in a nice way? If he is busy with work or something that's important, understandable. But if he is just making up reasons why he is "busy", I'd be questioning if he is putting in as much effort as you. Good luck.
2007-09-10 12:44:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even white lies damage a relationship! All you needed to say was I understand but I still miss you and feel a bit distanced. Then he would know how you are feeling and still be grateful that you understand.
2007-09-10 12:32:32 · answer #7 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it is I almost always tell the truth sometimes at the expense of a friendship. I just turned 40 and I realized one thing; most people don't want to hear the truth.
2007-09-10 12:32:00 · answer #8 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No think that you should of told him cause if you dont tell how you feel the other person cant make an effort to make it right and not make you feel that way again. What you did is normal cause most people are to afraid of getting rejected or him not caring how you feel but I think you should explain how you feel.
2007-09-10 12:31:48 · answer #9 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should have told him how you feel. If he is very dear to you you should be able to be honest with him about your feelings. You need to have another talk with him and set things straight.
Good Luck
2007-09-10 12:31:40 · answer #10 · answered by suzie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it hurts you then yes you should tell him but sometimes we have to bite our tongues in support of our partners. Dont always suppress how u feel its not healthy and will eventually manifest its self in to deaper problems.
2007-09-10 12:36:30 · answer #11 · answered by Tim H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋