a short poem by me , hope u like it?

Question

The right to please the left
Im stranded where ive found
My story told mind unbound
From the rear I hear a coin wobble sound
She shows me what I cant see
She smiles at me from a place unknown

I walk the streets attempting to see
Waiting for you to hand over the key

When I looked upon a distant star lit bay
And lay down with eyes shut
Traveled on imaginations waves to destinations unfound
They exist yet as true as can be
Within my mind when I lay on the soft floor
And attempt to unlock a few more

Tempted by the snake ive come undone
Naked I stand beneath the sun

Answer 1

You are genius when it comes to writing. My advice is to follow your own rules for writing poetry. Let it be whatever you desire to be. Great writers are not defined by following all kinds of silly rules for writing. I want you to keep writing, because you have a wonderful gift you can use for success. Let no one tell you that you can't do this, because I think you can. As a fellow writer, I can say that poetry has the influence to change lives, and that what you could do. You can even be better than J. K. Rowling, if you put your mind to it. Keep up the great writing. Great things await you.

Answer 2

You've done better.

Perhaps with some of those better poems, you've not yet grasped the technique that made them good. Keep writing. But also read the work of the great poets. If you already have some of the greats under your belt (by greats I mean Shakespeare, Edmund Spenser, Elizabeth & Robert Browning, Emily Dickerson, Walt Whitman, e.e. cummings, Robert Frost, Homer, Shelley, Byron, Goethe, Longfellow, Poe and I like to include some of my personal favorites in the list--Edna St. Vincent Millay, Sara Teasdale, Stephen Spender). Also try different sorts of poems...you can learn a lot from the analysis of the rhyme scheme of sonnets, Shakespeare plays, epic poems like Homer, longfellow, and short poems by say Frost. There are many books that analyze poems and provide insights into the intention of the poet, which will help you find a more certain path and direction for your own poems.

Whatever, you do, make it fun. And keep writing!

Answer 3

not as good as before, but I ain't gonna kick ya to the curb. And the guy before me is a name dropper, and half of those people may be famous, but are not masters in my opinion. It's too hard to read what they wrote and someone with a phd can't decide what it is they are trying to say.

Later darlin.

edit:
make that 2 before me. lol

Answer 4

It's good but i really did not understand it.

Answer 5

i think you could have don't better but you keep writeing.

Answer 6

i dont really get it