Coping with seeing people die?

Question

Hi
Im due to start a nursing apprenticeship next monday, and whilst i cannot wait to get onto the wards, im am slightly worried at how im gonna cope with seeing someone die for the first time.
does anyone have any tips on how i can deal with this?

no stupid comments else you will be reported xxx

thanks xx

the response from Connor J Garfield is what id consider a stupid comment, That doesnt help, but thanks for all the advice so far, its all been great, thanks!

Answer 1

I always wonder how nurses do it, yet remain so sympathetic to the families.
I wonder if you ever really do get used to it? Perhaps it is more getting used to not dwelling on it. And becoming stronger from dealing with it.
I have had to watch many loved ones die.
It's never water off a duck's back. Always really painful. The only thing that has lessened the pain of it is knowing what to expect, as in how it will affect you and be ready to accept it. And that a lot of time, death was kinder than additional suffering.
As a nurse, it will be part of your job. It will be hard but I'm sure every nurse who still does her job has found a way to deal with it. Those experienced nurses will help you find your way. You won't be allowed to dwell too much on it anyway, nurses are kept busy and that is helpful.
When my Mum died last March, there was no-one to hug me. The Nurse on duty that night was so kind, and I asked her "Please hug me!" It was the best hug ever, because it was the most needy one.
As a nurse, you can show your kindness by comforting the family members. It means a lot to them, and might help you get some satisfaction from the down-side of your duties.
All the nurses at the hospital where my Mum died were fantastic, and I will never forget them. They looked after the living; were very concerned about my health over those long months. They did their best for my Mum; she was never another statistic to them, but they moved on to caring for the living in the knowledge that that is where they are of most use.
I wish you luck in your chosen career. If you keep a scientific mind at a dying patient's bedside, it will detach you from your emotions and help you deal with it. You have to remember that a dying body doesn't intend to upset anyone and needs the dignity to go with peace and grace. You are not intimate with them and you should also advise family members not to get too weepy until the soul has passed on. I am sure you will handle it well!

Answer 2

Seeing someone close to you die is very difficult to deal with . However, most of the persons you will be having contact probably won't be any of your family or friends. Once you get your credentials and begin working with patients, you'll have a certain amount of "distance" between you and the patients.

How it will affect you should someone code blue on your duty shift, only you can answer that yourself. I'm sure there will be a support staff at the medical facility you'll be at to help with this situation. If you do witness a death, don't be afraid to express your emotions. Ask for help if you need to.

Often, the general public view medical personnel as cruel or hateful because they deliver bad news "your relative has died". We tend to forget they're human too and have feelings. But we also forget they have a job to do and we never get to see how they deal with death.

Answer 3

some thoughts from this site ...

When coping with a death, you may go through all kinds of emotions. You may be sad, worried, or scared. You might be shocked, unprepared, or confused. You might be feeling angry, cheated, relieved, guilty, exhausted, or just plain empty. Your emotions might be stronger or deeper than usual or mixed together in ways you've never experienced before.

Some people find they have trouble concentrating, studying, sleeping, or eating when they're coping with a death. Others lose interest in activities they used to enjoy. Some people lose themselves in playing computer games or eat or drink to excess. And some people feel numb, as if nothing has happened.

All of these are normal ways to react to a death.

More at URL

Answer 4

I've seen many people die over the years. A lot of how you respond depends on how/why the person is dying. People who have achieved peace with their impending death rather exude peace to those around them. People who are dying unexpectedly are harder to cope with...as is the death of a young person. However, in either case, if you are doing EVERYTHING you can to make them comfortable, that will help you, because you will know you were helping them. It also helps you by keeping you busy and productive.

Remember, one of the last senses to fade away is hearing. Therefore IF you can bring yourself to just sit and talk...or even just sit and quietly hold the hand of a dying person...occasionally just saying something to the effect of, "You are not alone..."that is helping them more than you will ever know...especially if they are otherwise alone.

Answer 5

Unfortunately you just have to develop a sick sense of humour. Ive seen several dead bodies through work and it sounds bizarre but the fear is much than the thing itself.

My first body i nearly passed out before i saw it as i knew what was coming but when i actually saw it its not so bad.

if you dont know the person you can distance yourself from it. Im sure that when you see the first one youll wonder what all the worry was about! best of luck.

Answer 6

I've been nursing for 5 years and nothing prepares you for death and there is no set way you will react to death.

As a practicing nurse death is all round you, disease is just a prescursor to death. Sometimes, you can spend weeks with a patient who is suffering and hovering between life and death, barely conscious but groaning 24 hours a day out of pain, you go home and wish they would pass overnight!

You need to have inner strength for nursing in all respects. You become easily hardened to these facts as you need to survive!

Hope this helps and I don't sound completely impassioned xx

Answer 7

First of all, congrats on your apprenticeship!

While it's important to emotionally connect to the patients (especially terminally ill ones) to provide the best care for them, realize that, their passing is cyclical. They pass on but others come into the world. It's only their physical bodies leaving, while their spirit and memories live on in their family.

Also, some patients have been suffering from their ailments for so long, so their departure is basically awaited.

Answer 8

I try to tell myself that at least the person is no longer suffering. They have moved on to a better place. No matter how long you are in the medical career field it really never gets any better, especially when you have to talk to the families.
Take a deep breathe, count to ten and remember you have lots of other people that still need help.

Answer 9

I was a hospice nurse for 10 years and I was also with parents when they passed. There really isn't anything to prepare you. It helped me to think that I was making that person as comfortable as possible during those last stages. It was not easy any time. I dont think it should be. It is a hard profession, but a worthwhile one as well. Good luck.

Answer 10

I have seen many people die,relatives stay in your mind,but their faces dim with time,that is when the guilt starts,for not being able to remember clearly,other people are just meat,you get used to it ,especially when you attend a lot of autopsies,always make sure you have a bag of boiled sweets handy.It,s just a job downside,thats all.best of luck love,i hope you pass all your exams and succeed in this worthwhile profession.have a star.