I have been married for two years to my husband. Yesterday I stumbled upon old love letters from his past and the engagement ring and engagement gift of his ex girlfriend. I told him to destroy them but he refused. When I tried to destroy them my self he threw me out of the bedroom. 10 minutes later he left the house with the letters,ring and gift and returned without them I know for a fact that he went over to his mother to leave them there. His mother practically controls him and tries to control our marriage too. The peak was when she and my husband opened our wedding gifts without me. Please help:-(
2007-09-10 04:03:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please only married couples should answer.
2007-09-13 08:10:54 · update #1
I like the urination answer.
He's obviously holding on to the past....
2007-09-14 08:26:08 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one, the mother-in-law is nothing but trouble if she is willing to pull crap like that. I can see a husband not thinking about it because men don't get into that kind of stuff. But anyway, a previous engagement is a large part of someone's past, and it's made him the person he is today. At first, I thought that "well, he probably just had them stuffed in a box somewhere and completely forgot they even existed", probably in a box that wasn't even looked in when you moved into your home. But when he refused to destroy them shows he probably knew he still had them. I wouldn't ask him to destroy them, though. Not the rings anyway. The letters should go. Take the rings to a pawn shop. Also, try to find out about his current level of contact with his ex, you may be on to something.
2007-09-10 11:12:40 · answer #2 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound a little controlling yourself. If your husband wants to keep things from his past it is not your place to tell him he can't. You might want to be sweet and ask him to dispose of these items, if it really bothers you, and he might be sweet and oblige. But if you demand it then he is just defending his position as an equal in this relationship and who can blame him. You need to grow up and try to get along with him and MIL, or you will end up being his next ex. You can beat his mom at her own game but you have to be the better woman, not the maddest.
2007-09-10 11:11:06 · answer #3 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you are married to him, why are you worried about his past? I still have letters from the past, I'm not throwing them out, neither am I giving them to someone to hold. When he told you to stop, you should have obliged him. Just because a person have things from their past, doesn't mean that they are still in love with that person. My man still have things from his past in our house. Even if you don't see these things, the man STILL had a past. What are you going to do... Erase his memory?
2007-09-14 22:53:57 · answer #4 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What an unfortunate situation. I feel your pain. If I were you, I would tell my husband that he had better start tending to his wife and his marriage. I would also tell him to stop being a mama's boy. There is only room for two people in a marriage.
2007-09-10 11:14:38 · answer #5 · answered by ♥sick n tired♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i sitll have old love letters and stuff from where i was in college...wife has been trying to get me to trhow it all away...but i wont, and she had better not....everyone likes to think of the past and what it meant to them...i do, you do, we all do...and if we keep it, our children will know how we lived, and thats why i keep my stuff...i want my daughter to know who i was...not just who i am...yeah, i know a rubber chicken is a little funny, but hey...i caught that thing in a vending machine...as for his mother...quit trying to compete with her, because it does not matter who marries him...it is a fact that every mother sees every woman as not good enough for their little boy...my mother did, but i told her and my wife to fight it out and keep me out of the middle....i will not stand for it, but yeah...sounds like you are competeing with his mom...stop and quit caring what she does...she will get it after you start doing the i dont care anymore ...
2007-09-10 11:44:15 · answer #6 · answered by bubba gumps light 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to be the one to let go - and not on your orders.
Are you insecure about your marriage - sounds like trouble goes far beyond the ex's stuff.
2007-09-15 09:50:16 · answer #7 · answered by Maggie Jeans 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, and can attest to the fact that some things will never change. Neither of them respect you - and probably never will. Sorry. Good Luck.
2007-09-10 11:11:17 · answer #8 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have pictures of my ex, myself, and our daughter. I will not throw them away because it is an important part of my life. It was enjoyable and he is still a special person to me. We are just not together anymore.
2007-09-10 15:03:38 · answer #9 · answered by tasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the letters, they were before you, not after and tell mum to mind her own business.
2007-09-15 16:39:04 · answer #10 · answered by kystarlyte_kystarlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋