What should you do when your spouse is negative about everything?

Question

My wife complains all the time about everything and is depressed all the time. She is emotionally draining, but I love her and don't want to get a divorce. What should I do?

Answer 1

My husband is the same way. He has been that way for 9 years now. after a while you become emotionally drained as well. He is negative about other people walking by on the streets as well as when we are driving in the car, at social functions, which is something he does not like and always has to quietly put down others in the room, only to me though. It has begun to affect our kids who are under the age of 11. I have always loved him too and have tried to be the positive one in the relationship, but now after 9 years currently I feel I have lost so much respect for him because of this. His negativity ahs affected many aspects of our lives and I have too have become frustrated, except I feel that there has to be boundaries and at some point you can't go on living miserable and something has got to change. He went and started taking meds, the kind they give for depression, but it has only been 2 and a half months. I can't tell if theya re helping any, but I do not the the respect I have lost for him is affecting the way I feel for him. Part of me still loves him, but the other part is ready to stop babying him and find a positive person! What would it be like to be with a happy person!???? Well, sorry I could not be more help, but, your not alone.

Answer 2

wow, this sounds like me! I am a wife who does complain and is depressed sometimes. I do have to say one thing. Trust. A woman needs to know u have her back and is there for her. In any way needed, whether it be emotionally, yes i did say that. that is so hard for men to do. Plus when a woman is a stay at home mom it is hard and stressful. there could so many things that u don't know. my husband just walks away from me when i need him to just say " it's ok, what do u need me to do?" Talk to your wife and make sure she is handling all she has to do okay. Try to help her and let her know you are there for her no matter what. It's small things that will make her feel better. I know it may be hard, it's hard for my husband but he tries hard and it does make a big difference in day to day life. Don't divorce her, counseling would help, we go on occassion. when we feel the need. it only takes us about 1 session to see how good we have it in life and there is no good reason to complain. Meds are no good. If she is really depressed she should excersise. it helps me. She does sound a lot like me so i hopefully i can help u understand so u can take small steps on making her feel better. A lot of the times it's just little things that make a huge difference in how someone feels. Good luck

Answer 3

Suggest couples counseling. That way you're not placing the blame on her, you're just stating you think the two of you have things that need to be worked out. Find someone with a medical degree who can write scripts, so she can get help for the depression. She needs to know that she doesn't HAVE to feel this way! Be encouraging and supportive, but be FIRM that this needs to happen.

Answer 4

Listen to what she is telling you and workout how you two can solve problems together. There are tiny complaints that your wife complains but that was just at that point and lots of women do that but there are other complaints that are long term and incline not to go away unless something is to be done about it. If she does not express, then it is not healthy either.

Sometimes, she just want to express what she thinks.

Answer 5

If you don't think she is clinically depressed or bipolar, maybe get to the bottom of whatever is really bothering her. If she wasn't always like this, something happened to make her feel this way. Find out what it is. And for pete's sake don't placate her. Her whining is only good if there's someone to hear it; put your foot down and tell her to knock it off already and seek therapy if all else fails.

Answer 6

Insist that she get a complete physical check up. Then insist on counseling. People generally go mentally in the emotional direction they steer themselves. Sounds like your wife has gotten into a negative rut and needs someone to veer her towards happy again.

Answer 7

My personal advice is that all people, men and women are going to gripe and complain. It’s just human nature to not get along with one another. I’ve been through all that before, trust me. When a woman gripes and somplains she is just showing that she is the dominant person and that she knows that youj are going to notice her. My advice is that you just don’t need to worry about any of it, I’m telling you man to man. Just don’t get tired of it all and end things that you know is really a blessing, just hang in there. You both will be fine….just don’t worry

Answer 8

Sounds like she needs to seek the help of a medical professional. She might not need "psyche" medicine. They make a lot of drugs that help stabilize your mood.

She sounds like a good candidate for medical marijuana(depending on which state you live in).

Answer 9

lol well wen im moaning aobut something my bf will turn it around and always look on the positive side of it so maybe when shes moaning about something say well theres always a positive side to everythin and give her the positive side to it? does she know shes depressed as she can go the doctors about depression

Answer 10

Getting a divorce is better than getting murdered in your sleep. Think about that one !!!