What are some characteristics for gay's have when they accuse them of "choosing" their sexual orientation?

Question

Say for example, "straight men having sex with other men who are not gay or bi-sexual."

I posted a question about straight guy's having sex with guy's, and many of them stated that straight guy's who DO have sex with guy's are "still" straight.

It doesn't make any sense to me - then with people like that, why the arguement that gay's do not "choose" their sexual orientation?

Now, I'm gay, and don't recall choosing my orientation, but, to me, that sounds very "chosen" and not so much "biological".

It does fuel the arguements for anti-gay groups who view homosexuality as not "inborn" as people are saying.

Sorry, for the confusing question - "what are some characteristics gays have to encourage people to view gay's as choosing their orientation"

I agree. I don't think they are straight. But, then there are those argue that that are straight. And, these are the people who are gay who say they are straight.

Oberon - exactly. That's right. We are all lumped together.

Stell, I agree to an extent. But, it's unfortunate that many beleive we are a "chosen" behavior rather than our sexual orientation are who we are just like our hair, skin and nails. It's a part of us an can't change. But, when straight guy's have sex with other men, and still call themselves straight and some in the gay community agree they are straight and discuss this "gray area" Kinesey Scale bs, then we are lumped into this silly behavorial scheme and it's just not true.

I am not a gray area, or a scale/ratio - I am 100% gay.

Okay - love the arguement of having sex iwth animals - it always goes in that ridiculous direction when it comes to homosexuality or gay marriage (can I marry my dog?)

Topher - there's a debate because people who actually beleive that gay's choose their sexuality and that people are ratio with regards to who they are attracted to say for example, 60% gay, 40% straight and this is why it's so hard to gays to gain equality because orientation is simply a behavior.

Silver thanks for the answer. But, what about then men who are straight who as some people say, recieve oral sex from a guy out of convienance? huh?

Answer 1

I understand what you are saying.....I don't think that str8 guys that have sex with another guy can actually call themselves str8. They are lying not only to themselves, but the rest of the world.

We are all born with our sexual identities. There is no two ways around it. When these guys claim to be str8, they are simply ''choosing'' what is more convenient for them. That makes us all look foolish.

Answer 2

I think it's only a matter of the right person at the right time and still not about "choice," with regard to orientation, which is not all black and white, 100% one or the other, apparently, only the choice to give in to one's desires, whether it's a pattern or an exception.

Answer 3

I'll make it simple... Since guys who don't fit the "sterotypes" have the OPTION of hiding themselves... often times they do. WHY?... the reasons are abundently obvious... who would want to be put down as much as we are if you didn't have to be...

... so IN their "hiding"... they say things like "i'm straight... I just have sex with other men"... or "straight guy seeking same"... leading the bible thumping right wing to say "see?...it's a CHOICE!!!"... when in reality it's a pathetic attempt for a gay or bisexual man to be able to justify "having the milk"... but not "buying the cow"...

Answer 4

I believe you and I believe gay people who say that sexual orientation is not a choice. Would it make a difference if it was? Being Christian is a choice. Being Jewish is a choice. Does it follow that Christians or Jews should be slandered, bullied, harassed, and discriminated against?

Answer 5

I would say that most gays and lesbians are defensive to the phase "choosing" their sexuality because "mainstream" religion has created a whole lot of nothing around the word "chose"... the sooner no one gives a flying **** about what anyone else things, or labels us, the sooner we can just do other more important things...

Answer 6

Maybe even having a debate about such a topic. It lends credibility to the idea, that there is even a debate. It is completely unfounded, the same as Intelligent Design.

Answer 7

a straight guy has sex with another guy.. and hates it.

he's straight, as in he's heterosexual, he hasn't any attraction for the same sex.

a gay guy has sex with a girl.. and dislikes it.

he's gay, as in he's homosexual and hasn't any attraction for the opposite sex.

a guy has sex with a guy and finds that he likes it, isn't straight, as he has some form of attraction to the same sex. if he still likes girls, then he's bisexual.

that's where i think most people get confused, sleeping with the same sex doesn't make you gay/lesbian, but having an attraction for, or liking sex with the same sex, does ( or if you still like opposite sex, bisexual).

and the most common types of argument for people choosing to be gay, tends to be
"because we have a bizarre statistic from nowherethat says 10% of people at some horror camp converted to being straight after several years". ( then neglecting to mention that they changed back after a year or so, or that they've merely just oppressed them into hiding in the closet again).

and my personal favourite "everybodies straight, unless you become a deviant, and then be gay". because they know this without having been gay themselves, and of course -everyone/thing is heterosexual, and so 1,500 animal types haven't been documented with homosexual behaviour, bearing in mind that they usually lack the "sentiency" of choice as humans have.. nope.. they miss that part out too, or dismiss them all as "dogs mounting other dogs to show superiority" when the majority of species are birds, and inclusive of dolphins (famed to be one of the most intelligent species on the planet, and form long term partnerships) and seahorses.

the former example is an exmaple of extreme - religious based heterosexism / homophobia, and the latter a simple example of heterosexism.

you will also find that when people "come out", it's used as ammo for the "choice" theory, being that they don't realise that people pretend to be straight, ( and some even marry / have a family) because of the dislike subjected upon them.

it is also worth noting that some people even say "you may not be able to choose to be homosexual, but you choose to take part in homosexual acts", but this is simpley saying the same thing, just "editing the words" to make it viable, aka, you might be born with an attraction to the same sex, but we wexpect you to be celibate all your life".

they often pounce on bisexuals, saying that they should indulge in only the heterosexual parts of their sexuality, thereby completlety excluding a part of who they are, and in the case of falling in love with a member of the same sex ( as i have done) denying them the chance to be in what could end up as being just as loving and fulfilling a relationship as any other.

there is one more example i can think of, and thats when the religious types state "god made everyone how they should be, and god dislikes homosexuals", the thing is here, is that if god did indeed make everyone the way they are, then to make people homosexual would be hypocritical of what's written in the book, so they insist on it being a choice because if it turned out not to be a choice, then their entire argument against it backfires.

a few definitions: (these are simplified, and ignore sexualities such as "metrosexual" etc to keep things simple)

(heterosexism : the belief or idea that "normal" is heterosexual, and anything else is "abnormal")

(homophobia: a fear, or dislike, or strong aversion to, homosexuality).

(homosexual : physically, mentally or emotionally attracted to the same sex, and repulsed physically, mentally or emotionally by the opposite sex.)

(heterosexual : physically, mentally or emotionally attracted to the opposite sex, and repulsed physically, mentally or emotionally by the same sex.)

(bisexual : someone who has the capacity to be physically, mentally or emotionally attracted to either sex.)

hope that clears things up a little for you.

-edit-
"what about then men who are straight who as some people say, recieve oral sex from a guy out of convienance? huh?"

that's a grey area, because a mouth is a mouth, you don't get male mouths and female mouths, and someone closing their eyes wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

in the case of a man using another man because they can't get a woman, they could be using the physical sensations of oral sex, and then fantisising about a woman to get themselves off, in that case, they're heterosexual (and desperate).

if he was doing it because he liked oral sex specifically from men.. then he'd be bisexual.

this is the same as what you get in the prisons, straight men, who become sexually frustrated will end up "doing anything with a hole", but that doesn't make them gay or bisexual, it just means that they are desperate ( and serves em right for doing whatever got them in prison in the first place).

(please note, this is -my- take on the subject, and i am no more right / wrong than the next person).

Answer 8

This is why I say that "straight" guys who have gay sex are not straight. It's simple and true. And for the "straight" male porno stars...they are drugged and paid to do it. (a lot of editing too so you can't see their limp biscuits)

Answer 9

Thank god you re worded that...i was like huh?! Um....i don't think we necessarily do anything...it is a fear based issue that some have....

Answer 10

Okay here's my view. If you have sex with a dog, will that make you a dog too? Wise isn't it?