the answeres i got to my first question part 1 i love them. if you guys have to put me down go ahead because your right. it is shameful for a grown married woman to let her mother mess up her relationship. but being back in the house with her now has really made me realize that letting my mother control me is not worth it. you know i use to think that if i did not do what my mother told me that i was disrespecting her and that i did not want to have kids and get back what i put on my mother. but looking at all of this i see that my mother dose not respect me as a daughter. she tryed to disrespect my husband when he would not do for her or give her. i put a stop to that but i did not put a stop to her disrespecting me. you know how all this mess really go started? when my brother was in jail two years ago my mother got mad at my husand and i because he would not give her his income tax money ($2,500) to get my brother out of jail. then the negitive remarks was on!
2007-09-10 03:27:51 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"Next on Jerry Springer"
Wives who's mothers disrespect them when their husbands wont lend the mother in law money to bail the son/brother out of jail!
Then the fight breaks out!
2007-09-10 03:33:17 · answer #1 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not shameful that you care for your parents.
The problem is you haven't learned how to stand up to them yet. Well your mom anyway.
You just need to get some back bone, just a little to get your point across to your mom so that she will stop making you feel guilty.
What is the worst thing that would happen if you told your mom how you feel when she acts the way she does?
Well she is going to get defensive and argue and say she does not do that. She will get mad and maybe not talk to you for a few days so she can pout.
She may even want you to move out, but really is that a bad thing.
She can't fix a problem if she don't know she is doing it.
If you don't like they way she treats you then tell her so, if you don't she will have you so striped of who you really are their won't be anything left of you, then no one will want to be around you.
2007-09-10 10:48:04 · answer #2 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to set some boundaries....you are an adult and your loyalty is to your husband, and apparently he's much better at setting boundaries than you are. If all you type is correct, than your mother is a nightmare, and by trying to make her happy rather than yourself or your husband, you are holding onto some fantasy in which the two of you have a great relationship and you get her approval. Time to let go.....perhaps even moving farther away will help....by placing a physical boundary it may help you to set the emotional ones. Good Luck
2007-09-10 10:38:27 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That should have been a big sign in and of itself. Your mother thought of you and your husband as a source of money to bail out your brother. She assumed that what was yours was hers.
She also did not look at what happened to your brother that led him down a path that put him behind bars. She really needs to look at herself and her values.
You on the other hand, need to get out of her house and if you can get your marriage back together and not let your mother have a say in your marriage or finances.
Take care and Good Luck,
Troy
2007-09-10 11:07:41 · answer #4 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is hard for a mom to know when to let go.
You are a grown woman and have not only a right, but an obligation to remind your mom that you are a grown woman.
Tell her that you appreciate her advice, but that you may choose your own path.
As the daughter of a mom that likes to play guilt trips, I understand your situation all too well. I have learned to firmly put her in her place with respect and dignity. Not always easy, but always necessary.
Good Luck
2007-09-10 10:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by Deb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea it sounds like mom needs to grow up a lot. I am not trying to be rude but a husband and wife should have an unbreakable bond and no one should come between that. Good luck!
2007-09-10 10:34:49 · answer #6 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2nd reply......she is an ***. Tell her I said so. I can't believe a mother would do this to her child....actually I can. I would never do this or tolorate it. Move out today if you can. Drama day in the house of Mommy.....don't give her the satisfaction.
2007-09-10 10:36:06 · answer #7 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See there should be a law about who can get married.
2007-09-10 10:38:18 · answer #8 · answered by Y/A Eighth Wonder of the World 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forget about all that. Tell her to butt the hell out!
2007-09-10 10:33:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋