Do you think it's worth getting a divorce if....?

Question

a couple argues alot, and the wife accuses the husband of cheating all the time, although he is not, and if she is mean and nasty to him alot. Be mindful that this is a man, that works hard, is successful, does whatever he can to take care and provide for his wife, helps out her family, spends time with her when he can, pays the bills, looks past her past and so forth.

Answer 1

This is proof that " Nice guys finish last".

For some unknown reason ( possibly a Mars - Venus thing) the better a guy treats a woman, the worse she treats him.

She is already ruined and will not change her ways. My suggestion to you is DTB ( dump that *****), find some new ones and be careful not to treat them too well or they will walk all over you too.

Answer 2

Okay, with the last sentence you gave us every reason why we should support "this man." I am not saying that you or whoever "this man" is doesn't do those things, but there is always two sides to a story. It sounds like there are a lot of issues in this marriage to attempt to resolve, and while I am not a big fan of marital counseling (why pay a therapist to facilitate communication between two people when they should be doing it in the first place) it sounds like this couple could possibly use some. If for no other reason to open a line of communication so that they can better understand each others position. I didn't see any mention of love, trust, understanding, etc. in the question either, so I wonder what the basis of the marriage is as well. Good luck.

Answer 3

Her past isn't the issue... it's the present-day situation which is the issue.

Your wife is apparently unhappy or depressed or has some issue which needs addressed. The best you can do is urge her to get help.

You certainly can make the condition if she doesn't get proper help, you are finished....

Some people are angry or have other problems which interferes with their every relationship. It might not be her fault at all but because of something which happened to her in life..... however, she's an adult, i'm sure she knows whether she has "problems" or not. It's up to HER to seek help for herself.

If not, well she will have to face the consequences.

Take care of YOU in the meantime. I hope things work out.

Answer 4

No. I think its worth marriage therapy. Divorce should only be considered as a last resort and really the only reasons for a divorce should be someone who is unfaithful or abusive, verbally, physically or mentally or any of the three. I would give the therapy a try. Its better if you try it and still end up with a divorce the not trying it and then later wonder if you could have made it work.

Answer 5

i think it's important for them to see a marriage counselor or their pastor about the situation. there are a lot of books out there that both of them could read. it all boils down to how badly either of them want to save the marriage. marriage is full of bumps in the road but so is life. the wife has some emotional scars that need to be dealt with and that will never happen if the D-word is brought up in the conversation. She does need to learn to appreciate the husband that toils for her welfare before someone else starts "appreciating" him. but as the story goes, we are only hearing one side of it. i hope that this couple can do everything possible to salvage their marriage before resorting to divorce.

Answer 6

Stop arguing and give your wife some sympathy. When your wife accuses you of cheating, it's not really about you, it's about her feeling insecure and unlovable. So, hand her your cell phone and let her look through it. Give her your email password and let her see you have nothing to hide. If she thinks you're doing someone in particular, give her that woman's phone number and tell her to feel free to call her any time she wants. In addition to opening yourself up to her, bring your wife flowers, and go the extra mile to make her feel loved. When she feels more secure, the accusations will stop.

Answer 7

Well we're only hearing one side of the story but if you are not cheating then there is something wrong with her that she is so suspicious. Insecurity being one of them. If you don't have kids get the hell out. Life is too short. I think marriage should be done away with. You can't possibly know if you will love someone FOREVER. You do sound like a great guy from your point of view and you could very well be right so go find someone who is more deserving.

Answer 8

You're the only one who can make that decision. No one here can do it for you. It sounds like you are doing all you can, but only getting one side of the story.

It's all a matter of what you are willing to tolerate and how much happiness you are willing to sacrifice.
Before going straight to divorce, I would strongly recommend some counseling and serious discussions to try to work out the issues.

Good luck.

Answer 9

That depends... Each person thresh hold of what they can take is VERY different. MY thoughts would be why is she this way to him? I mean its never a one way street. Has something happened to her to be this way? Has she caught you being overly friendly with a woman so therefore she sees that as a sign that you may be cheating, even if you're not? Hows your attitude towards her? I would say first off look at yourself and then at her. Try to get to the bottom of it, I bet it can be worked out.

Answer 10

Here is what I think....if you don't have kids yet, now would be the time to cut your losses....because if you bring kids into this situation, it would be very unfair to be bringing them up in this atmosphere. Although perhaps you could give a shot at marriage counseling...sometimes the problems are really more about ineffective communication than anything else.