every time i tell people i don't ever want kids they say "you will one day" or "wait til you're older, you'll understand." why can't people just accept that some people do NOT want to be parents. i'm about to turn 24 in a week...i've never had the slightest desire to have children...why is that so hard for people to understand? anyone else out there have this problem? did you regret not having kids?
2007-09-10 03:02:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anne 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Welcome to the club! I am 37 and I get the comments you receive weekly. I am married and have known my husband since the second grade! I chose an education over getting married and having kids while in my twenties. When entering my thirties, I had to work to support myself. I didn't get married until I had dated my husband for five years and we finally got hitched when I was 34. At this age, we are not financially wealthy, but we do live comfortably. Having a child to support would throw us into poverty considering what medical and child care costs today...not to mention trying to send a kid to college about the time we are ready to retire. I don't want to be over 40 with a first grader! The energy level is also just no longer there to stay up all night with a child. People tell me I am being selfish. I think I am realistically looking at the options. I have several nephews who think their aunt and uncle hung the moon, with the added plus of being able to take them home at the end of the day! Keep in mind many people say these things because they couldn't invision what it takes to be a parent and they are actually jealous of the various freedoms this will enable you to have. Just tell these folks that just because you can, doesn't mean you should! There are a lot of single mom's out there today who probably wish that they had thought more deeply about the situation and its long term implications. Also keep in mind that not everyone has the proper temperment to deal with a child. That is nothing to be ashamed of...at least you won't have a child in therapy 20 years from now, blaming you for his problems! Good Luck!
2007-09-10 03:29:04 · answer #1 · answered by Really now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore these people; it's your life, not theirs. I didn't want children as far back as I remember, and it didn't change. I ended up pregnant at 33 and now have a wonderful, beautiful daughter, but, let me tell you, it is an ongoing struggle. Contrary to popular belief, not every woman is born with a strong maternal desire. I love my daughter, but I don't love being a mom. I've been bitter, angry and resentful since the day I found out I was pregnant. I suffer with depression and have horrible headaches every day. Nobody else lives your life for you and if you don't want children, then tell everyone (as politely as possible) to back off.
2007-09-10 03:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by susann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its YOUR choice. Folk need to understand that just because someone can reproduce doesnt mean they should or must. I am the proud mother of 4 and have no regrets and I dont think its selfish to not want children. I think its GREAT that you know that you dont want to. If you should change your mind...you can still have them. Hell a 63 year old gave birth this year. Tell folk that what you do with your reproduction organs are YOUR business.
2007-09-10 04:20:57 · answer #3 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have 1 son who's 17 and is at the center of our lives. It's a long, tough haul to raise a kid, and it's expensive. I'm very glad we have done it, though.
However, it's not for everyone. I think that it's a decision each person or couple has to make for themselves. I know some couples who have decided to not have kids, and it works for them. If people give you grief, tell them that you're happy that it's worked out well for them, but you're not interested in doing it yourself, and change the subject.
2007-09-10 03:10:15 · answer #4 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignorance is one thought , and nature is the other, meaning all life on this planet is here to plant their "seed"... i have a daughter, my sister 41 has said she doesn't want children and people all the time tell her " oh you will regret it" BULL... she knows that she enjoys doing "her thing". her babies are horses, has been since she was 5. i tell her as i have told others, that a women does NOT have to have a child to be COMPLETE. you need never to justify your life to anyone let alone those judging. beauty is , you have choice..and smile with that one...
2007-09-10 03:16:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a personal decision and you don't have to try to convince anyone or explain yourself to anyone. it is YOUR decision. And besides you still young, so if you decide to change your mind (which I doublt you will) then that will still be YOUR decision. I am 26 and I dont' want children either, mostly becuause I've been raising them all my life, so I don't let other people get to me when they ask those same questions. Don't let it bother you, its YOUR life and YOUR body...so their opinions don't mean anything.
2007-09-10 03:15:14 · answer #6 · answered by Ms B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children do not always bring happiness, do not feel you are wrong not to have them, too many have children that do not deserve them, be yourself, nothing wrong with that.
2007-09-10 03:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by joe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No regrets whatsoever.*
2007-09-10 09:08:47 · answer #8 · answered by dca2003311@yahoo.com 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋