First time actress...self esteem has taken a beating. Not used to open critique of body...help? PLEASE!?

Question

Hey guys,

Tonight was the dress rehearsal for the first play I have ever been in. It debuts in 3 days.

I have to wear a dress with boots and I thought it looked ok, but I got lots of critiques from the director and other cast. I know it's not comments about me personally, it's about my character and how she should look, but I am finding it so hard to differentiate between the two.

This is the first play I have ever been in, it's a community production, quite small.

I would so dearly love to hear of stories about other people and how they dealt with this kind of stuff. Particularly women.

I am 29.

Bets wishes,
RCDB.

To clarify, the last thing I want is a FURTHER critique of me! Gosh!!!

I am after examples of how other people have managed to overcome the brutal honesty of back stage life!

Answer 1

Oh, honey...............my sympathies

I have Been There and Done That. Repeatedly.

It Ain't You. It's a bad director and a malicious cast. You did not choose the ensemble (in both senses of the word), but you have to live with it.

I have worn everything from rags, (literally, rags) to a Powdered Wig 18th Century Augustan Age outfit (itchy), to a futuristic metallic thing that made me look like the Michelin Man. Costumes is costumes. Learn to live with it. Talk to your costumer.

An anecdote to cheer you up:
Way back when, I was Chorus in HMS Pinafore (Gilbert and Sullivan), and the costumer decided that all the Sailors would wear Rayon trousers. Rayon shows every bump and line, so we were instructed to purchase Dance Belts ( a fiendish device that forces one's "man parts" to reside in a place they least want to be). I could not afford one, so the costumer fashioned one for me.........out of 1/2 of a Bra.... an AA cup.

Next time you feel humiliated in this business, just think about me being handed 1/2 of an AA cup brassiere.

Answer 2

Well, it would help a tiny bit if we knew what they were critiquing you about.

See if they have suggestions of what you could do differently. Sometimes that's what happens at dress rehearsals: you get a chance to see if everything is working. Clearly, something is not in this case, so instead of just slamming you, ask if they have suggestions for what you could actually do differently. It could be that a minor change in the costume would help, like maybe that particular dress and boots aren't flattering for you. Or maybe suggesting a simple character trait change, like your posture or just the way you carry yourself could make a difference for the better.

I assume you auditioned, which mean that you won the role you're playing, which means that SOMEONE thought you were right for it.

Unfortunately, like anywhere else (possibly more than anywhere else), people in theater aren't always known for their sensitivity. It's not nearly as cutthroat as you come across in Hollywood, where women who weigh more than 100 lbs are called "chubby", but part of being able to take on a totally different character and perform in front of an audience night after night means that most of the time, you're pretty self-confident, and people who are extremely self-confident can sometimes lose sight of the fact that others may not be that unaffected by criticism.

Believe me, I know how hard it is to deal with. I was the token fat kid in all my high school plays. But at some point, you just have to develop a tough outer skin about anything in life, so that you can take the criticism without spiralling down into the depths of depression, take the good advice and use it, and let the other stuff roll right off you. I can't really tell you HOW to do it. Just every time it happens, take a deep breath and try to take it in stride.

But definately find out if they have any suggestions to help what they had a problem with to begin with. No use passing out criticism if it isn't constructive criticism.

Answer 3

First of all, other cast members should never be critiquing you on anything - performance, costume etc. That's not their job.
It would be easier to tell what they meant if you included specifics. For example, if they are saying personal things, like you looked too fat/thin, tall/short, etc, that is completely unprofessional and just rude. If they're saying things that would help you look more like that character should look (ex. overall style of the clothes of makeup), that is the job of the costumer, or if you don't have a costumer, the director.

My experience with costumes has been that sometime before tech week, you have a 'costume parade" and you get everything on and the director basically goes down the line and says 'yes' or 'no'. If it's a no, it might not be a no for everything, but they will tell you what works and what doesn't. It's always about the costume though and not about the actor. If there's a costumer, the costumer will have more say while still collaborating with the director on design, but ultimately, if the director doesn't like it, it goes.

The only time I've ever experienced anything like that was actually a comment from another castmate. I was doing a play and my character was a very pure, sweet girl and my first costume was a white, gauzy dress that was kind of low cut (and i'm kind of, ahem, chesty). One of my castmates remarked that it was an interesting choice of dress given how pure my character was supposed to be and how basically I looked like a $lut. (yes, she used those words). I told her that if she had an issue with my costume (which was none of her busniess) that she needed to take it up with the director, because he chose it. I've also had to wear costumes I didn't particularly like, but hey, that's what it's about when you're playing a character. It's not you who's wearing it, it's them.

So, if they are just commenting about your dress, (and not how you look in it) don't feel bad. Ultimately, it's up to the director and if he feels the dress doesn't work, than it doesn't work. Not knowing any of the people involved or what they actually, said , I'm not going to speculate on motives, but just remember that the director has a vision in his head of the show and what he wants his characters to look like. If you didn't fit that, in your dress, maybe he wasn't being as diplomatic as he could have been in telling you.

Go talk to him and ask him what he wants, what you can do or add to make it look better. That's really your job, as the actor. Sometimes director's are open to listening to what the actors think as well, soemtimes they're not. Don't take it personally.

Good luck and congrats on your first show!!

Answer 4

I'm afraid that you just need to get used to it. The line between your personal appearance and the appearance of the character you are playing is a difficult distinction to make. But it is a necessary one.

As an actor, everything about you is part of your instrument -- you use your brain, your voice, and your body to bring a character to life.

When a director gives feedback about what the character should look like it is no more of a slam against you personally than if the director suggests an different way to say a line.

Sometimes, the line gets crossed, and people do make remarks that touch on your own personal qualities or characteristics, apart fro those of the character. In those cases, you simple have to realize you are dealing with cretinous non-professionals and rise above it. If the out-of-bounds criticism is from the Director, then you need to realize that it's their problem, not yours. If they think that your appearance is so bad, they shouldn't have cast you in the first place.

Answer 5

Well, I think there is a balance to be maintained. First of all, it is really only appropriate for the DIRECTOR to be giving critiques. In community theatre, these lines get blurred. If cast members are giving unsolicited advice, you can politely say, "Yes, I am going to work that out with the director." Or if it is really bothering you, ask the director to speak with the cast about directing one another- a BIG no-no.

The costume notes are just about the vision of the play and character, it really isn't personal. Take each note and think what you can do with it to improve your performance. Notes are simply a part of the process, you will develop a thicker skin with time. Frankly, I'm more worried when the director doesn't give me critiques- ALL actors need an objective eye to help them look their best .

Answer 6

It is difficult not to take it personally when someone looks at you and says "No, you're no good!" If you continue acting as I did for 25 years you will experience a lot of criticism, rejection, and some bad reviews. When someone doesn't cast me, I say to myself, "Ok, he must be going for an uglier, less talented actor for his vision." One review of me said that I was mis-cast, my make-up was clumsy, my outfit looked like WC Fields, and I was too low energy. Now, the director cast me (as a 60-yr. old when I was only 24), the make-up artist drew black lines on my face and greyed my hair, and the costumer came up with my outfit. The next night, I decided the part of me that DIDN'T want to crawl in a hole and cry, the part of me that was going to do something about the only thing I had any control over went out and raised my energy level, laughed, and really enjoyed being on stage in that show. People came up to me and said "Did that reviewer see the same show I saw? You were great!"

If the problem is with your wardrobe, tell the director -- nicely! -- that this is what the costumer gave you to wear. And if it's about your look, 1) develop thicker skin if you want to stay in this business, and 2) remind the director of the billion dollar industry called "cosmetics" Don't like my red hair? A bottle of Miss Clairol is $6; what color would you like?

Answer 7

So are you playing Bloody Mary in South Pacific or what? Community theatres are often beset with cliques who do not accept new comers well. Just relax and have fun. Anyone who doesn't like what you wear or do, you should ask them to do it better. What a pity that the organization has not got a strict policy against actors critiquing one another. A BIG NO NO in the theatre. Try to laugh at their stupidity. Bless you for trying and break a leg, Doc

Answer 8

You already know that acting involves all kinds of critique. Whether it's about your acting abilities, singing, or just not getting the character. Some can be brutal. If you know it's not about you personally, then where is the problem? The best way to differeniate between the two is to ask specific questions relating to the character to find out what is expected from the character. Remember, you're not asking questions about yourself. This is your first production, it gets easier as you get more involved in the theatre process. Take your time.

Answer 9

Realize that this comes with the territory. If you plan to continue acting you have to develop a thick skin and emphasize that part of you that knows it is not personal. It might be worth it to take a few lessons and make it more comfortable for you. Acting is hardest for those who want admiration and applause. If you can relate, a salesman gets rejection 90% of the time and lives off the other 10%. Break a leg!!

Answer 10

Okay, so I know how you feel. It was for a commercial audition. I was a comedian so I was not so worried about how I would look. I wore a size 12 dress at the time. I went to the audition and the casting director looked me up and down. There were about 30 other actresses crammed in the tiny room waiting for the audition. It was for SEARS. I sat down filled out my card and gave them my head shot. There was an open alcove so that you could hear what they said outside. It actually echoed into the room.

The casting director called me outside to talk and all of the other actresses sat up at attention. She said, "Listen I don't want to upset you but we are looking for someone who wears a size 8." I nodded and said "okay" and headed for the stairwell to leave. She followed me and grabbed my arm and said, "Okay, I don't want you to think that we are discriminating against your size. I mean you are beautiful but you are a little too big for this part." I looked her in her eyes and said, "I said okay, now you are hurting my feelings and in case you didn't know, it's Sears, no one under a size 12 shops there, get over yourself, it's not Bloomingdales."

So, yes I know how you feel. I laughed to my friends and put it in my act. The overly political correctness of some castings is ridiculous. I'm overweight, so what? I knew that when I was called. Learn what I know, people don't define you, you define you. I know it hurts sometimes but in this case at least you realize that they were sizing up the character and not you.

When people see that you are sensitive they may feel disinclined to cast you in anything so keep your feelings to your friends and this forum. Good luck in your future career and God Bless.