I am 32 and have been dating a 30 year old for 1 1/2 year. We got into an argument at 5am again. One of many where I can't sleep, cry and wake him up. He gets really angry normally and it gets a bit crazy where I threaten to leave and he is verbally abusive saying I should shut op and calling me crazy, jealous controlling etc. I am jealous and have some issues, am wrong and provoke him a lot in the middle of the night but does that justify his behavior? He puts his hand over my mouth often. He has bitten my hand. Yesterday he bit my thigh so I have a bruise today. He carried me to the door saying he was going to kick me out. Then when I didn't stop provoking he pretended to call security and pretended that he would harm himself in the bathroom. I am writing because I know things get out of hand in fights in a lot of relationships. With enough provoking can anything happen? I left him yesterday packed my stuff. Today I miss him. I have a bruise and am confused. I love him but am freaked
2007-09-10 01:41:52 · 18 answers · asked by losing my mind 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What do you love? This sounds like a terrible relationship. Couples argue, but physical fighting should never happen in a proper relationship. The two of you need to get away from each other.
You say that you are jealous, but that gets heightened when you do not feel comfortable in your relationship. In a good relationship you have no reason to feel jealous or have physical fights.
Take care,
Troy
2007-09-10 03:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are enough of an irritant for long enough you will invoke UN-pleasant responses...which you have seen. I can get a little bit of a feel for your 'type', and I have dated women like that. They seem to just not care for the feelings of others. Like they are the only ones that matter, and when they finally drive someone into a rage of some sort they have the nerve to look surprised.
I dunno if you need to just grow up or what, but you are making yourself out to be a irritable, selfish child, and this guy's at the edge of what he can and wants to deal with because of it.
Is he right for what he's doing?....NO...but c'mon....you're egging it on like crazy. My recent ex gf was like that. She acted as tho she was the only one that mattered in the relationship. Her wants needs and desires were all that counted. I was a zero......well.....she's gone now and unfortunately some poor sap will get sucked into her BS like I did. Oh well......at least you have the presence of mind to see what you're about and ask for help.
I think either you, or both of you need professional help....and right away if you have any hope of having your relationship last.
When you push and push and push and cause someone grief over and over and over, especially for no apparent good reason it can invoke rage.....pretty much common sense...and this is how some people get physically hurt, because the rage takes over and there you go. I never got o the point of violence in any way....just anger, but some people just don't know when to quit.
Get with the program....grow up and get some help.....and....good luck to you.
2007-09-10 08:34:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now, while you still can. I've been in an abusive relationship before, I know you think you can't leave. But you can and you have to. It's better to be alone than in a relationship like that. You should take some time off and learn to love yourself before you even think about being in a relationship again. Trust me he's not going to change. You deserve alot better.
2007-09-10 02:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by misty_dawn1100 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, do me a favor and save yourself from the Ike and Tina routine. You can love him, but let it go. If you did provoke it, he may say hey she started it, but what you're doing and going through is unhealthy and its better to cut it out now. If you cant get over your jealousy issues, even if you do move on, the same thing could happen again and if you get with the wrong guy, that acting a fool routine is not going to work and he will beat your *** something fierce. Take my word for it honey... If he cant control his anger, you need to let it go. Then you need to evaluate why you have these issues. I used to be jealous too, I'm not anymore.
2007-09-10 01:52:59 · answer #4 · answered by teri is ambience 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of the relationship. You are both wrong in this. Why would you wake someone up in the middle of the night to fight? And why would he put his hands on you? This is not a good thing. Go get some counseling for yourself and learn to love yourself.
2007-09-10 01:54:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both of you have problems. Try to cool thing s down this few days. In my opinion, once a man lay his hand on you it would be forever. You won't want to live the rest of your life being abuse like that. Think about your future. you may love him now but once you are married to him there is no turning back.. Take care of yourself and if you need help, there will always ppl around you like your families and friends. Just remember that without him you will still survive. Show him that k....
2007-09-10 02:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by ling.l.c. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
'JustMe' answered the question perfectly. My last bf was an abusive person. One time I thought he was bending down to kiss me, even tho we had been fighting. He didn't kiss he bit. Big mark on my face. I called the cops on him after a few time and black eyes and swollen welts on my head. He spend 2 1/2 years in prison. Got out came over and broke my arm. He went back to jail of r 1 1/2 years. It never ends. He's not healthy and from what I can see you just egg it on. Both of you need help, serious help.
2007-09-10 01:59:07 · answer #7 · answered by IamwhatIam♥♥♥♥♥ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your behavior and his behavior is totally out of control. He has no right to lay a hand on you, unless he is defending himself, and you have no right to put a hand on him, unless defending yourself, but you also have no right to wake him up in the middle of the night to start a fight. You have problems.
The two of you make a toxic couple. You seem to be addicted to the drama of it all. Just stay away from him. Or else one of you are going to end up seriously hurt or in jail one of these days.
2007-09-10 01:51:07 · answer #8 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You admit that you are provoking, and you have issues. May I suggest that you stop dating, if not forever, at least until you can work through your issues. Its not fair for others to suffer from your problems. Seek professional help, get better, then maybe start to date when you yourself can participate in a HEALTHY relationship.
2007-09-10 01:56:11 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound like you could use a good dose of Prozac or something along those lines. It is not normal to be that wacky. From time to time, maybe once a year or something.....you sound out of control and like you are driving this guy bonkers. I can't believe he bites you, that is very bad, sounds like he needs a muzzle. You guys.....I don't know what to say really.....sound like two year olds maybe.
2007-09-10 02:46:59 · answer #10 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋