Have you ever been misunderstood by what you said before?

Question

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.



The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat".

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment? "

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."




Mrs. Smith fainted

Answer 1

Great joke. And yes I have been misunderstood.

Answer 2

Wonderful.

Answer 3

under no circumstances ever - God is and improve into around - the writer of regardless of exist now & earlier or after. My theory is obvious - each thing evolve with the will of God - basic for me to appreciate - there's no longer something being/born devoid of writer - like us, no father and mom, no us, won't be in a position to make certain air, yet i've got faith it. Then could be attempt to communicate to nature and ask nature to create a cow via itself, can it ensue?, you come back and tell me. desktops too have creators and what greater of a residing issues! What I come across in my have faith, what's logical. properly have faith is approximately faith, there is not any faith devoid of have faith. Then if there is not any have faith no could believe, if all we desire is actual prepare. i do no longer desire actual prepare God or the only and easily writer exist as I even have my faith - so be it - i've got faith God/the only source exist. i do no longer innovations in any respect, i don't sense insult, yet suitable be propose, it does no longer pay to insult a dragon...hahahaha. i do no longer choose, people who don't have faith can proportion this international with the believers, no longer that something here in the international belong to the believers on my own. Then we communicate approximately nature, how nature exist and that i'm able to bypass on and on - what's nature fairly? Then to decrease-short my factors - there is not any one fairly lifeless in our time and got here back to let us know the fact approximately after stay - i think if we live interior the era, could be all this question appropriate to the writer, religions and races purely isn't talk here now. Who understand, God could deliver one or 2 of the lifeless coming to the flesh and communicate approximately. Like he or she improve into pronouce and buried for 2 or 3 years - come out the garve and refer to us...hahaha...i'm going to be very afraid thou' it extremely is sweet to believe - it fairly is braveness for the residing. Then besides - what harm does it motives us to have faith in God? do no longer come and tell me approximately wars and all that bulls craps that separate human beings via fact of God - that improve into human greeds. all the products are from God and the bads incorporate a robust motives and interior the tip all products are from God - the bads from human and its devils...hahaha Who now fairly combat for the reason for God? do no longer tell me any names - I do purely no longer desire to purchase it.

Answer 4

Yup, have heard this one before but it is good to read through the whole thing again hehe:).

Answer 5

oh!!!
it's so damn common
cuz theres always atleast 1 person who will take ur words the other way round

Answer 6

LOL...thats hilarious!! thx for sharing!

Answer 7

I misunderstood your name for a woman.....lol

Answer 8

LOL !!! ... Like you said, not one dirty word.

Answer 9

You made me laugh today.

Answer 10

hehe. that was a good. one. it was fun while it lasted.