Am i being selfish?

Question

I am 15wks pregnant and i am the youngest in my family(im 21 yrs old). When my brother found out i was pregnant he was very upset due to the fact that his wife and him have been trying for 2 years to get pregnant. Today at dinner my brother was talking to my dad about being a grandpa again(i have a neice and a nephew from my sister) my dad said he is excited then my brother DROPPED THE BOMB that they are expecting now too!!! she is only about 5 wks pregnant. I am sooooooo excited for them! but then i got kinda jealous because now the attention is away from me a little bit. I feel bad about it but am still a lil upset....how do i handle this situation? I am happy and sad at the same time. I am happy that our little ones will be close in age and get to grow up together. I dont want to feel this way but i do!! any advice?? please no rude comments!

Answer 1

It's normal to feel that way so take it easy and enjoy your pregnancy! Good luck!!!!!

Answer 2

I guess it is a bit normal. I found out I was pregnant and then a week later a good friend told me that she was too (we worked together). At first I was a little weird but then, she had some serious problems and I realized that she needed someone to talk to that could understand how she was feeling. I think that our being pregnant together has really made us a lot closer. We all handle things differently, but I found that we had so much in common and so much more to talk about. Last month I found out that my bf's sister was pregnant, she told me that she was going to try, and Boom! She is. She was so worried that it would upset me, take me out of the limelight. I just thought of it this way- our kids are going to be less than a year apart and have so much fun together!! Don't stress about being the center of attention, it is not important!

Answer 3

I felt the same way twice!!!! I found out I was pregnant and told the world not a month later I found out my sis was pregnant with her third. Lets make it better I wanted to name her Skylar the name she chose Cuyler!! I was so mad not only did she need another kid like a hole in the head but she was going to pick a name that rhymed like they were twins or something! Well I got over it and people still ask if Sky and Cuy are twins b/c they look a lot alike are the same age and height I can see why they think that! Then she did it too me again!! WE were trying for #2 for almost 2 years and she knew it but her marriage was in trouble and she reunited with the hubby and oops. 5 months later we found out we were going to have him!! names this time Adam (mine) and Geoffrey. Moral of the story? You'll get over it and pretty soon just be excited for them. Remember you got pregnant quickly they've been trying for a while let them have a little time in the spot light soon it will be on both of you as the new babies grow nearer and all too soon you'll be thrust out again because the baby is finally here! Congrats to both of you

Answer 4

Try having this as your first baby senario. I had my first baby pretty young. I had her June 3rd. On Easter Sunday before I had my baby I found out that my whole family was exppecting another arrival besides mine. My mother was expecting to have a baby in November. 19 years after having me. She didn't plan to tell me untill she was holding my baby the day I had her. Just so happens that sometimes you accidentally answer your cell phone without realizing it. I heard my step dad telling my step sister over the phone and he had no idea he had me on the line. Of course because my mom is almost 40 at the time every one was concerned over her. While I am walking around 9 months pregnant they still expected me to do things that they would run to help her do. They would tell her to sit down that someone else could do it and would tell me you are young you can handle it. I was thinking to myself I am 9 months pregnant she is 4 isn't there a problem here. Not to mention I had been dilated for a few weeks because I had a accident. No need to rush the process for me. YES JEALOUSY WAS A BIG PROBLEM.

I know how you feel. However my brother and my baby are five months apart and well they grow on ya. It is nice having someone her age besides her sister and my one on the way.
Don't worry it will be fine.

Congrats on baby and on the aunt to be.

Answer 5

that's completely normal to feel that way... i had a similar situation.. you see i guess i'm always trying to win over my mother in law...and she never had a lil girl... my first child came as a suprise with her youngest son when we were quite young...i wasn't too concerned about the sex of the baby, but i could tell she was dissappointed i was having a boy...later that year her other son announced they were pregnant...and sure enough they had a girl..and now i'm due any day now with another boy..i'm not upset about the having another boy, just jealous that the one thing my mother in law wanted I wasn't able to do...i know its not my fault but I understand where you are torn between jealousy and happiness. I think it will settle after the pregnancies are over...it will just be hard the next 10 months when everything in the pregnancy is being compared to each other....hopefully the childern will be best of friends and have a blast growing up together.

Answer 6

You're not being selfish, Im in the same boat as you. My family is expecting is expecting four babies right now. Me, My sister, My cousin and My second cousin. I was the first to find out and then everyone else starting dropping thier bombs, I have got use to it though because they ask me the "is this okay and did you have this problem" all those questions. And then My fiance's sister just had a baby last year and his sister is due ANY DAY now, and his cousin is too.
You will get use to it. Just know they are secretly jealous too, because you will start showing before them, find out the sex before them, and give birth before them; believe me. they hate that they have to wait and that the attention is still focued on you as well.

Answer 7

It is natural for you to want the attention to yourself. My sister just had a baby 8 months ago, and any time we even spoke of a cute baby or another pregnant woman shed get very angry. Its not about "knowing that hes your brother and its wrong" etc etc, you cant help the way you feel. There are no tips to get you to stop thinking this way, theres not really any way to control your feelings.
Just give it time. A little jealousy isnt a sin. Dont be so hard on yourself! You will still get lots of attention, youre just gonna have to share the spotlight. Who knows, maybe thisll even bring you and your sister-in-law closer together:)

Answer 8

It's okay to feel that they stole your thunder a bit! It's more bittersweet because they've tried for so long to have one, but things will even out as your pregnancy progresses. I'm sure that you're feeling alot of things right now and this is just magnified by your pregnancy. It's perfectly normal for you to feel this way.
I got pregnant a few weeks after my brother and his wife, so I understand how they felt when you made your announcement-the hurt is compounded by the fact that it's never gonna happen...
Cheer up, my son and nephew are 5 weeks apart and they're just like brothers. A pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, my dear!
Congratulations and good luck to your entire family!

Answer 9

I felt the same way as you and no I don't think you are being selfish. It's only natural. Being pregnant is a wonderful time in your life and it's something that you want to share with people (family and friends) and it's almost like it's your time to shine but it's kind of hard to shine if someone is blocking your view....I hope that doesn't sound to harsh or rude myself. But the good thing is you 2 can be pregnant together and that is always fun....

Answer 10

dont feel bad you are going through a tough stage you're bringing a baby into the world so its natural to want some attetion and love. Yor sister in law (presuming they're married) is now going through the same thing so she will want the same. Maybe you could talk together and share the experience of childbirth so you both feel the same amount of respect. Meet up togtehr and discuss things like baby names, schools and just general things like whats on TV. It will create a great way to bond plus the two kids will become great friends if their mothers are. This will also show your brother that you care about him and his family.

Answer 11

I think after the newness wears off you'll both be back in the spotlight (do remember though, that the spotlight will almost permanently be off of you once the baby comes...it will switch to baby and it's good to get ready for that now). I think that your family probably knows how hard they've been trying, so that plus the fact that they JUST found out about them, I think they're going to shower them with a little extra attention for right now. Go ahead and feel happy for them.