One of my father's friends had a sexy blonde police officer for a wife. They had a son together about my age at the time, and I hardly noticed the dad, except to say he was fairly pleasant, kind of intellectual.
Then they got divorced. The wife being a tough police officer knowing the law, got all the furniture, the car the kid, etc. leaving the dad out in the country living in an empty house.
We came to visit, but it was to a man alone living in an empty house with no furniture to his name, light spots on the walls where pictures had hung, the rooms all empty, and that 'empty house' smell.
While he was talking to my dad about what he was going to do, we kids went running all over the house looking for something to do, and he landed right on us.
He asked me, "What are you doing in there, writing your initials on the wall?
I was flabbergasted. I had no intention of messing any walls up, honest, and I don't know what he was so angry about, and his character so changed
2007-09-09 16:53:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because divorce is horrible and traumatic, especially under the circumstances you describe.... He is depressed, lonely, broken hearted, and perhaps has other mental issues.. Having someone rip out your heart, destroy the home, violate all you believed in and worked for is something that tears you down to the core of who you are... Do you maybe have a few "homely" things you could take by for him and the kids? Anything to help them start to "rebuild"... a little goes a long way... I can remember when I started over, how something so simple as an egg turner or pot holder was precious.
2007-09-09 16:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No doubt....the "sound" of running feet in the house echoed and reminded him of 'just how empty' it is. It probably also reminded him that 'his child' was not running in it any longer. Undoubtedly, the fun you all were (innocently) having in that moment, reminded him of his lack of joy. The empty house you have described....isn't just an empty house. It is his home... and a place where the loss is obvious.
His character changed as would anyone, who has just undergone a loss of loved ones. Divorce can be just as traumatizing as a death.
If you had a dog.. and you loved it dearly, and in your room there was a bed where it slept. If the dog got run over by a car... and was gone. Sitting alone in your room...looking at it's empty bed. If another person were to enter the room...and jump up and down atop the pups bed...it would offend you because you are attempting to preserve the memory of the lost pet. And the act would also remind you of the reality of the pet being "gone". That is why the 'man' acted out when you did that. It offended "his" reality.
Not only that, the 'sound' of children is distracting when your upset.
chin up....Don't take it personal, if you encounter him again be polite and respectful.
2007-09-18 00:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by suzangm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I fully agree with all answers so far. You sound too young to understand the pain he is going through.
Imagine if you were sitting in your house and lost your mum and dad (god forbid) and a company came around and took every single thing out of the house.
How would YOU feel. sitting there all alone, nothing but a shell of what was HOME not just a house and absolute silence where there was once LIFE, happiness, joy, love, saddness.
I am sure you get the picture
2007-09-10 00:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is the anger and feeling of betrayal that people are going through, it can make you change. I know I am going through the same thing and I don't even feel like the same person anymore. I am hoping as time goes by I will change back to the person I was or at least close to that person. I will never be as naive as I was before, that part of me is gone.
2007-09-16 00:25:37 · answer #4 · answered by tannerlady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The trauma of his divorce has had devastating and lasting effects on him and made him a bitter man.
All feelings he had of trust, loyalty and dignity were stripped from him when his ex walked out the door.
Given time he may soften but during that time it's probably better to steer clear of him for a while.
2007-09-10 00:43:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i tell ya why, depression
he was left alone, with nothing
no one to care for him
no one to talk to
and no one to take the anger at
so, for no reason he took it out on you
he feels like a looser and there is nothing anyone can do about that
why
cause he doesnt want to do anything about that
my father was the same
he lived in an empty house, with no heater, no one to come and cook or clean
and he almost died
what you , or anyone for that matter , can do
move him out,
litterally
cause he needs to feel loved
that someone cares
2007-09-16 23:42:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you put yourself in his shoes then you would realize that you messed up something that was more than just a wall to him-it meant so much to him he didn't want to change a thing after she left because he wanted it all to remind him of her-he changed because a broken heart can make the nicest guy, mean
2007-09-10 00:02:20 · answer #7 · answered by missymae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A divorce tends to bring out qualities that you never knew existed within yourself. It's hurt, anger, hatred, fustration.... all mixed together. You don't know how to move on.
2007-09-17 13:20:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your perspective as that of a visitor his is the empty house
that once had life...now nothing, just hope you learned from
that experience to make yours more fulfilling...2bz.
2007-09-17 17:57:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is very bitter and just trying to protect what little he has left. Sounds like not very much. Give him time to adjust and get his life back on track.
2007-09-17 17:48:53 · answer #10 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋