How harmful is secrecy to a marriage? Should spouses share everything? why or why not?
2007-09-09 16:13:43 · 15 answers · asked by femmenoire@sbcglobal.net 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I believe spouses should share everything. Trust is the most important thing to a successful marriage, and keep secrets destroys trust.
My motto is "don't tell me anything you don't want me to tell my husband". I know some people will disagree with me, but this is what works for me in my marriage. And yes, my husband also shares everything with me.
2007-09-09 16:20:05 · answer #1 · answered by looneybin90 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
It depends on the reaction. If you are offended by something he tells you and you berate him for even thinking such a thing, there will be secrecy... On the other hand, if you guys share lots and always have a laugh about how sick your thoughts are, sharing everything is just fine.
2007-09-09 16:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by Zamboni1988 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, married couples should have secrecy to protect each other, to maintain happiness between both, to keep individual space, and to keep the marriage as long as it's conscious/morally acceptable to the person who is keeping the secret.
2007-09-09 16:29:56 · answer #3 · answered by Ski Bum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me SHARE good things are important. But you don't share bad things and never do bad things.
If you have things that can improve your relationship in marriage, SHARE it with your spouses. I believe if we share good things, we'll get them back good too. Things that can bring bad impact/harmful to your marriage, keep it as a secret(only God knows).
2007-09-09 16:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by anwar.tirta 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what the secrecy is. My wife has never talked about her past relationships, first date, first kiss, first sex. That was all before me. I am OK with that. She didn't tell me everything about problems that our daughter was having. There are always secrets about Christmas presents, surprise parties, etc.
2007-09-09 16:26:17 · answer #5 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is different in every marriage depending on the maturity of the other person. Sometimes, what people want to know, they cannot handle. Most of the time to produce security in another person, be as open as possible. A honest person is the most trustworthy person.
2007-09-09 16:27:11 · answer #6 · answered by stepphie aka Jesus Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, there should be no secrets in a marriage. That is where the trust comes in at, and if you have no trust, then you have no marriage. Nothing should be kept from the spouse. Put your self in their place, would you like it if THEY kept stuff from you? Could you trust them again once you found out that they were keeping stuff from you?
2007-09-09 16:45:23 · answer #7 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes i believe that spouses should share everything. trust is the base of marriage and not telling is as good as lying.
2007-09-09 16:21:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
secrecy in any relationship unless its to protect your mum and dad or grand parents or your kids is never ok.
so my vote is NO flat out sorry thats just how i feel.
2007-09-09 16:21:49 · answer #9 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me No. I will not share everything. As it depends what kind of situation it was, and if he or she not that understanding, it can be a problem which is unnecessary..so think abt it before you open the box...
2007-09-09 16:19:24 · answer #10 · answered by jenni 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋