What are some things??

Question

To people who dated their mates first, got married, and then moved in together... .
What are some things you learned about the your husband/wife when you moved in together that you didn't like??

Im asking because I asked another question about getting married first before you move in together or moving in together then getting married. And alot of people said to move in together first to see if you can live with that person... So Im trying to figure out how moving with someone first chances your love for a person...


So what are some things you learned about your mate after marrying them that would make you want to divorce?

Answer 1

People who tell you to live together first are commitment-phobes. Seriously. If you love someone and are seriously committed to them to the point that you can't imagine your life without them, and you marry them, anything that comes up later after you move in together will be just a bump in the road.

What you really need to do right now is focus on making yourself the kind of person/wife that someone would want to live with. Marriage is not 50/50 no matter what anyone says. How do you keep track of the points? You can't. You love someone, you commit yourself to them and everything that comes along with them.

Dirty socks on the floor and squeezing toothpaste from the middle are nothing.

When my husband and I got married, he moved into my house. I had things pretty much set up the way I wanted them. He called me a "Martha" quite a bit. He even went so far as to rearrange the stacks of cups in the cabinet. When I confronted him about that (ok, it irked me a lot), I realized that he was feeling like another accessory in our home. I had to change the way I related to him--fast. But my point is, we got past that. And a million other things that came up.

We've been married a little over a year, and that first year was very hard. But I promised him all of me, for the rest of my life, no matter what. That's what marriage is about. If you're not willing to accept someone, "warts and all", you're not ready to be married.

Simple as that.

Answer 2

We only dated 5 weeks, so there was a lot to find out. I didn't find out anything about her that made me want to divorce her. I found out that she is a "collector" and can never throw anything away. She is a "freezy cat" and likes the thermostat way high (I like it on the cooler side). I found out her scars on her arm, leg, and abdomen were from knife fights in high school. (That gave new meaning to the words, "Yes dear.") I also found out that she was an eager lover, liked being naked in the house, and wasn't shy about being nude in groups at parties. I found she was very "street smart." an excellent driver, couldn't cook but learned fast. We have had a very interesting and fun 41 yrs together.

Answer 3

mmm where do i start? that they have a temper
that they don't like to do things always for you
that they do get abit sick of seeing you every day in bed
night they don't want to shower for sex
money seems to be a big deal now, you cost to much
dirty close that you never got to see before
dirty close you have to wash that you never wanted to before...lol
i could go on forever, but i will tell you it is the best way to get to know your partner and set afew rules before the marriage book comes out? married here for 23 years, lived together for 2 before marriage.