I forget my sisters. She died 15 years ago when she was just 22. I often suddenly realise the day has passed and cannot believe I had no idea what the date was.
Do any of you guys do the same thing, and if you do, do you feel guilty for forgetting, or is it human nature to move on - and this is why maybe some of us don't purposefully mark the day with sadness/remembrance?
To be honest, if I did myself - i think I may go crazy with despair, so I've learn't to blank it out (but not conciously).
Thank you.
2007-09-09 14:49:52 · 13 answers · asked by .j 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
when i missed my mums birthday this year I realised that after 7 years I was finally ready to let my mum go and except the fact that she had died, you still have all your wonderful memories of your sister and no one can take that away from you but as time goes on you will find that it is not so important to remember her on her birthday, please don't despair it is normal to move on with your life and I'm sure there will be other times when you think about your sister and the good times, you haven't forgotten her she is still in your heart.
2007-09-10 00:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by fruitcake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, dont feel bad about forgeting it, she will always be in your heart, ive only really experienced a main loss once and that was my dad 2 years ago which was really hard and still getin over it so i still think about it on his bday, but i think as time goes on it could just be easier, don't dwell on it-just have a wee belated birthday thought for her im sure she wont mind xx everybody deals with these things differently xx really hope i got across what i meant. An amazing thing happened on the anniversary of my dad- my sister had baby (after tryin for few years)on the exact date same time that he died in july- 2 years after, so waking up that morning feeling really bad, i got a phone call to say i was an auntie!! Best phone call ever! They're always looking out for us x
2007-09-09 15:11:32 · answer #2 · answered by nickidee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-04 07:18:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I miss my parents and a brother dearly, but there are times it has gone by a couple days and I'm like "Mom's birthday was 3 days ago! Oh, no!" But what difference does it make, really? I think of her a lot, lot more than just on her b'day and I bet you do, too. I bet you are right; just one way for us to move on with our lives. If I do remember, then I tell them "Happy Birthday" and hope they hear, which I say, too, even if it is a belated wish! My condolences, too, for your loss. It's terrible losing a sibling, isn't it?
2007-09-09 15:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by dawnUSA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the time. No, I don't feel guilty. I don't believe my parents, or my niece, would want me to feel guilty about forgetting their b-days when they aren't even alive. They'd think it a waste of my energy. And I believe it IS human nature's way for the living to continue on. Don't be so hard on yourself. What do you think your sister would say to you, if she was able?
2007-09-09 14:58:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's anything to feel guilt for; letting go of that connection to the person is just another step of overcoming grief. I forget loved ones' birthdays, be they family or friends. I don't try to forget, but I don't try to remember, either. They're gone. The way I see it, if I was to attempt to keep that connection, the grief would just keep coming back. What loved one would want that?
2007-09-09 15:04:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself a break! I am positive that your sister doesn't care! Remembering things that have to do with our plain of existence aren't what's important. The day of birth and death aren't as important as remembering the person who has moved on. Remembering the love and life you shared
I don't remember my sister on her birthday just because it was her birthday. I remember and honor her when I think about her for no particular reason. Like now . Thanks.
2007-09-09 15:06:18 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to over simplify, but did you always remember her birthday during her life, if it was ok to forget then it is equally ok to forget now. You do not gain better memory to a specific date due to a death. Forgive yourself, her birthday is not important to her any more. How you live your life, your happiness, your joy is important to her.
2007-09-09 15:12:33 · answer #8 · answered by itchianna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dad passed in 1998. i usually am lucky to remember on the day or the day before. But there have been occasions that i have forgotten.
2007-09-09 15:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by Chimera's Song 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either that, or you have properly processed and worked through all your grief at the loss so your subconscious no longer feels it necessary to drag it out any further, &c.
2007-09-09 16:32:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋