Would this situation upset you, and am I wrong for not feeling hurt by it, in your opinion?
About 12 years ago, I dated a guy who wasn't sure of his sexuality (I only found out afterward I'd started seeing him). It didn't really bother me, but the relationship failed because we were very different and I felt the need to move on. I was only 17 and he was 16. We remained friends but lost touch after a bit.
A little while later I started seeing another guy... that didn't last long either, and we went our separate ways.
Recently I found out (from an old friend) that these 2 guys got it together and have been a happy couple for years! Good on 'em, I thought. When I told my female friends, several of them were horrified.
I was surprised and didn't understand my friends' reactions. If these two men met later in lifeand realised they wanted to be together, so bloody what? It's no reflection on me. If you're gay or bisexual, then that's how you are, end of story. Why should it get to me?
2007-09-09 14:40:43 · 33 answers · asked by Wildamberhoney 6 in News & Events ➔ Current Events
I'm quite an insecure person, but I fail to see why my friends think I should be upset about this. I've been in a longterm relationship for years and, while I don't have much conifdence, I think I'd be an idiot for getting paranoid about this. I understand that this isn't anything to do with me... so why are my friends being so ridiculous?! (They don't know either of the guys involved, so it isn't a case of them knowing something I don't about the situation.)
2007-09-09 14:41:10 · update #1
Thanks, people. I actually went around to their house a while back and I think they make a really sweet couple! There's no animosity between any of us. I think my friends are just strange for being paranoid!
2007-09-09 14:53:24 · update #2
I find it quite amusing to tell you the truth. I hope I can be their bridesmaid!
2007-09-09 14:58:43 · update #3
I wouldn't feel insecure neither!
Nothing at all to do with you!
Actually you should congratulate yourself, you were obviously too much woman for a gay man!!
2007-09-09 14:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by iamaustralian 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
There is no reason you should feel hurt by this it has no reflection on you. It just so happened that both these guys were unsure of their sexuality at such a young age, many gay guys have girlfriends at this stage in their lives. I had a "boyfriend""when I was 15, he was so sweet and thoughtful, all we ever did was hold hands. I saw him years later and he was happy with a boyfriend and I was so pleased he had found someone.
I don;t know why your friends reacted that way, and it shouldn't get to you!
2007-09-09 19:26:56 · answer #2 · answered by Nickynackynoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously they saw in you things that they eventually found in each other. It's funny that it worked out the way it did, but I would take it as a complement. You didn't turn them gay. I do think you need to tune up your gaydar so you find men to date that are available. I'm male and dated a woman that went gay after we broke up. It has never affected my manhood or self-esteem. I figured a lot of the reasons we didn't work out had to do with her uncertainty, not any shortcomings I may have had. I don't understand your friends reactions either
2007-09-16 19:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I kinda understand your friends because i once dated a guy and found out after we had slept together that he had a 'special friend' after we had spilt, made me feel kind of less of a woman that he would find another man more attractive than me, but hey it takes all sorts, whatever floats your boat, i laugh about it now but maybe your friends would feel this way if it happened to them but it happened such a long time ago you are right to not let it upset you, why should it afterall neither of them cheated on you.
2007-09-09 21:21:10 · answer #4 · answered by Dolly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not be offended or upset at that situation. They were with you at one point in time before they came to that realisation of how they would be the most happiest. That decision has nothing to do with you or your relationship with them at that time.
However your relationship with them now, reflects on you and how you have a good strong personality. I think you are very good in remaining friends with them why shouldn't you.
I commend you on your decision there.
I however would be extremely disappointed in your other friends reactions, other peoples later actions have nothing to do with you.
I would start questioning your other friends, and wonder are they really my friends or are they just very judgemental people.
2007-09-16 06:34:31 · answer #5 · answered by wizrcam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two points:
As you say, it "...isn't anything to do with (you)..."
As for the thing that you might want t be their bridesmaid, you will be getting involved in something ridiculous and stupid.
If two men love each other and want to be together, it is fine with me but they should not make a mockery of marriage. Their "ceremony" is not... 'marriage' ! This is the only thing I agree with G W Bush. I respect them wanting to live together but leave 'marriage' for man/woman
2007-09-17 10:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by RED-CHROME 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It mostly sounds as though your friends have more of a problem in accepting anyone's sexual preferences than you are, and you shouldn't be concerned at what they think, either, since your initial reaction was "good on 'em."
Some people are more open to certain things, and as religion seems to play a large part of accepting or rejecting sexual orientation, there is little you can do to change anyone's mind, as they would have grown up believing how being gay was wrong.
2007-09-09 14:49:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Do not judge how you should feel by how people tell you to.
If you are happy then they should be pleased & not try to make you feel bad. You sound like a good friend to these 2 guys & it is very healthy for you to be glad for them.
2007-09-09 19:13:00 · answer #8 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I certainly agree with you! Ask your friends why it's such a big deal to them. It's not like being with you made these guys be gay. How could it possibly reflect on you? I think your friends are off base on this one.
2007-09-17 08:29:13 · answer #9 · answered by makeloans2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel exactly the same as you.....I would be happy for them and wish them luck for the future. You have the right attitude.
Regarding my friends, I wouldn't understand their reaction, I'd find it alien.
Don't change, you have a good outlook on life.
2007-09-09 20:21:41 · answer #10 · answered by Curious39 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are so right wildamberkitten!!! I take my hat off to you!!! If more people had your attitude, then society would be a much better place! You are not being weird, you simply have a level head and can recognise the logic and appreciate the love that people can feel for each other!
BTW, thankyou for congratulating me on the birth of my grandson!!!!! :o)
2007-09-09 17:30:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋