Would this situation upset you, and am I wrong for not feeling hurt by it, in your opinion?
About 12 years ago, I dated a guy who wasn't sure of his sexuality (I only found out afterward I'd started seeing him). It didn't really bother me, but the relationship failed because we were very different and I felt the need to move on. I was only 17 and he was 16. We remained friends but lost touch after a bit.
A little while later I started seeing another guy... that didn't last long either, and we went our separate ways.
Recently I found out (from an old friend) that these 2 guys got it together and have been a happy couple for years! Good on 'em, I thought. When I told my female friends, several of them were horrified.
I was surprised and didn't understand my friends' reactions. So bloody what? If these two men met and realised they wanted ti be together? It's no reflection on me. If you're gay or bisexual, then that's how you are, end of story. Why should it get to me?
2007-09-09 14:35:31 · 20 answers · asked by Wildamberhoney 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm quite an insecure person, but I fail to see why my friends think I should be upset about this. I've been in a longterm relationship for years and, while I don't have much conifdence, I think I'd be an idiot for getting paranoid about this. I understand that this isn't anything to do with me... so why are my friends being so ridiculous?! (They don't know either of the guys involved, so it isn't a case of them knowing something I don't about the situation.)
2007-09-09 14:38:51 · update #1
Matthew - that is the whole point - it DOESN'T bother me one iota. I just don't understand why my friends think that I should be upset. I'm not. The only reason I'm asking people's opinions is because I am trying to understand why my friends are being so dumb about it.
2007-09-09 14:50:09 · update #2
I actually went around to their house a while back and I think they make a really sweet couple!
2007-09-09 14:51:16 · update #3
I find it quite amusing, to tell you the truth.
2007-09-09 14:58:00 · update #4
Sounds like you're much more mature and well-informed than your friends. They seem not to realize that you can't "turn" someone gay. If their reactions bothered you, you could always ask why they were so horrified and then explain to them what they don't understand.
2007-09-09 14:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by Aura 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Honey, what would i give to have a friend like you!
The world has a serious shortage of understanding mature individuals; imagine how much better it would be if there are more of people blessed with yr insight & character =)
Unfortunately- though I hate to criticize yr friends- one can tell they are not very enlightened & lack the mental & emotional sophistication you possess. Bt DO NOT talk or look down yr nose on them...I'm sure that one day, they will see the light & marvel at what a wonderful friend they have in their midst. Who knows, they might even be inspired by you! *wink* As for yr 2 guy friends who recently became a couple, they are indeed, very fortunate to know you. If I were either of them, I'd count you as one of my best friends *kisses*
2007-09-09 22:12:05 · answer #2 · answered by L'essentiel 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Good on you - this says far more about your female friends than it does about you. I don't understand your friends' reaction either. Would have thought they'd just be glad that two people (of whatever gender) had found each other - you are, so they should be too. Don't let it get to you, as you put it so bloody what? They're happy, so leave it at that. Of course it's not a refection on you, except that it's entirely possible you're a far more caring individual than any of your friends.
2007-09-09 22:00:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why should it bother you? And why would you feel insecure about it? I can relate to this, a good female friend and I were chasing the same guy at work.
I made a pass at him, he turned me down. She expressed loneliness to me and I told her to contact this guy. She did, they had a date, great time. Did it bother me that she got the prize? Nope, I was happy for her, just as you're happy for the guys.
I mean you went out with both of them independent of the other, had a good time I gather. Parted ways. End of story.
I think your friends are the ones who are overreacting, not you.
2007-09-15 00:51:00 · answer #4 · answered by Phurface 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day, if it doesn't bother you and you're pleased for them, that's all that matters! Your friends are being very silly. Personally, I really can't understand why they are getting worked up about it. If I were in the same situation, I'd find it funny! What are the odds?!
Don't let it get to you as there really is nothing to get worked up about, honey xxx
2007-09-09 21:43:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I don't usually give short answers but it sounds to me that you are an open minded person and you have a bunch of friends that are homophobic. You need new friends. Screw em. You're never going to change their small minds. Don't even try. Move on. You have a good attitude about life and probably happier than they are. Don't let them drag you down.
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Eric
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2007-09-09 22:17:35 · answer #6 · answered by ericbryce2 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong to not feel hurt. Your friends don't understand because it is outside of their own experience. The friends we had at 16 or 17 - friendship is what it was, not a lifetime commitment
2007-09-09 22:07:07 · answer #7 · answered by bluebell 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Awww, I think it's lovely.
Let me guess, all your friends are straight-up, middle-of-the-road heteros... More fool them for their ignorance and YAY you for being so open-minded and not idiotic. You are setting them a good example by not being a bigot. Honestly, some women get their knickers in a knot about the slightest thing!
Well done you again! Here, have a lolly o--
2007-09-09 21:45:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your wrong for not being insecure. I commend you for moving on to find happiness. If they found each other and are in love and it working so be it. Theres nothing you could do about it if you were insecure but get depressed and down and always wonder WHY (IT AIN'T THAT SERIOUS)
2007-09-17 21:22:11 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Juicy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why your friends were horrified over this, they don't even know the guys, and it has no reflection on you what so ever!! I wouldn't worry about it at all, it sounds to me like you may have some shallow friends though!
2007-09-17 00:42:46 · answer #10 · answered by ziggy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋