Inlaw advice??!!!?

Question

How can I deal with very annoying mother and father inlaw???

Answer 1

I have a wonderful father in law, but my mother in law is a totally different story, so I can relate. What works best for me, is when she emails, I just do not respond. She sends it to both me and my husband, and I just let him deal with her. When she's here for visits, we've had to have a discussion about ground rules and what is acceptable and what isn't. I would say it's not that she's annoying, more or less, she's just rude.

Answer 2

Since annoying can be anything from picking your nose at the table to scratching your butt in front of everyone you are leaving out a lot for any one to help. So let me offer the policy that my wife and I have regarding inlaws. First thing we agree upon is that if either one of us are uncomfortable with the situation we leave. As a rule when we go to see relatives we get a motel this eliminates 90% of the problems. If while visiting it comes up you should do this or do that we leave. Since we live 900 miles from them we don't get involved in any family debates. If an inlaw calls the house and starts being annoying on the phone we simply do this. We say does your phone do this, and hang up. This takes care of annoying phone calls, same for e-mail if it happens there we simply block them. If inlaws come to visit us and start this behavior we simply get them a motel room and tell them see you in the morning. This eliminates a lot of problems when my wife and I stand together and put up a united front. If you have children this goes a long way towards mended behavior so that they are able to see the kids. You married each other not the families and when they see that you demand the same respect that you show them they will get the picture and change their behavior. If you all live in the same community then you will need to move to enforce this policy or be able to say you need to leave. Funny thing how opinons change when they see that the both of you won't tolerate annoying behavior. If hubby doesn't agree with you on this tell him you and the kids are leaving and he can have his parents to himself, bet he changes his tune when he sees how serious you are about this matter. Just tell him to choose you or them.

Answer 3

Sometimes just smiling and biting down on your teeth is the best thing. I have pretty good inlaws. However, my mother-in-law will open her mouth sometimes without thinking and has said some pretty hurtful things. The last time was a recent visit up north to see my husband's family. I was so angry with her that I couldn't talk and cried behind closed doors because I couldn't contain it. But I knew that this is my husband's parents and still deserved respect despite our differences. I grinned and bared it for my husband. Fortunately we don't live near them and don't have to talk to them often. When we left to come back home, I still hugged her goodbye. I knew that with all things, this too would pass. It wasn't worth damaging our relationship. My brother's-in-law wife couldn't keep her mouth shut and it has had a horrible after effect for them. I don't want it to be like that for us. It's just not worth it.

Answer 4

I have been married for 25 years next month. It has been &#!! for all that time. I would say be polite and never compromise what you stand for. If you feel strongly about something let it be know, and accept their feelings & views as well. Don't let them try to change you into what they want you to be be, or try to change the way THEY think you should believe. You need to do this as soon as you can in the marriage, the longer you wait the harder it is the stand your ground. Let you husband know you are having difficulties with them and he may be able to help you through this (tell them to back off, give you some room or just bud out) if not, good luck making it throught this on your own. Hopefuly you don't have children, if not you need to try to get this taken care of before you start or it can be even harder. I wish you a lot of luck, God bless.

Answer 5

well, you aren't really giving us much to go on here. Are they interfering or do you just not get along with them? Why do you find them to be annoying?

Aside from speaking with your spouse and letting him/her know how you feel and coming up with a solution together - one that you will both be happy/comfortable with - there isn't much you can do.
The one thing a husband/wife never wants to do is "make" their spouse feel as though they have to choose between their parents and their spouse. It causes way too much friction and could possibly lead to a divorce.
Yes, your spouse chose you to begin the next part of their journey in life, but that doesn't mean they were choosing to ditch their parents.
Let your spouse know your feelings and work things out together and you'll stay married longer.
Best Wishes.

Answer 6

Annoying in what way? If they come over all the time, you have your spouse ask them to call first. Many in-laws are quite helpful. I know I am a free Saturday night babysitter myself. I also put dinner on for my daughter, son-in-law and two kids once a week on the night they are all very busy. But, I never go over when they are home without calling first.

Answer 7

During my marriage, I just loved my MIL She became more of a Mother to me than my own Mom had ever been.
The FIL was a different case!
But we all just gradually got used to eachothers' ways, and grew to love and respect one another.
There is a difference between "annoying" and toxic.
Some things can and should be ovrrlooked, just to keep peace.
But serious interferrance and disrespect shouldn't be tolerated by either you or Hubby.
MIL might just be a bit jealous of you.
Try to become a daughter to her if possible.
Maybe if she sees your love for her son, she will be easier to deal with.

Answer 8

By being polite and supportive but not submissive. If you disagree on a point, just mention to them that although you disagree with them but you respect their viewpoint. It would put them at ease knowing that you listen and you discern what is best for you. The best way to win an argument is by avoiding one

Answer 9

I don't know what you mean by annoying but you have little choice but to try your best to get along. Especially if you have children. Talk to your husband about this. They are his parents and if they are creating problems, he should talk to them. Annoying is one thing, anyone can be annoying, but if they are really interjecting themselves into your marriange that's an issue he has to contend with, not you.

Answer 10

tell your spouse that your inlaws are being annoying which is the truth it may be hard for him to here it but it will be the truth. goodluck