Wev'e been split up for awhile,than he just moved someone in our house from our past that we hadn't talked to in almost ten years.He has it made.great house,truck,good job.and now this person shes attractive and smart.and is going out of the way to make it feel like they are a family.As though i didn't even exist.And if i screw up over anything,he cusses me out,calls me names,says i'm stupid,dumb,that someone(or he)needs to knock the crap out of me,it's as though he suddenly hates me.And i'm the one that doesn't have it made,but i haven't bothered him for anything since they moved her in?Why would he be so mean all the time to me,like I"VE committed some crime.I didn't even try to make him feel bad for hooking up with her,i wished them well.Even though it's been really hard to deal with.I just get tired of never being able to win with him nomatter what and can't understand "WHY?"
2007-09-09 11:28:47 · 14 answers · asked by eve- 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we have kids together five,three are grown, two are not.And how is it so easy then for a man to so completely move on,like all our years were nothing,and now i am nothing.
He doesn't care whose around when he goes off on me.last time out seven year old and three yr.old grandson were there.I still feel sorry for him,because he always acted like he NEEDED me SO much.What is this all about?really/
2007-09-09 17:50:56 · update #1
because you let him. Remember, it is YOU who sets the bar as to how people will treat and or talk to you. Granted you can't control other people's actions; however, YOU don't have to deal with it. Stop letting his POISON, ruin your life, your attitude, your spirit. Let him GO! I wouldn't think it would be that hard to do considering the way he talks to you, the fact that he's with somebody else. I suggest you take this opportunity to rediscover, YOU. Get back in touch with you, get YOUR life back on the RIGHT track. Just Let him GO! (you don't have to talk to him, you don't have to answer his calls, you don't have to visit him, or open his emails..you just don't.) Unless you have children..then there will be some contact..but again, you set the bar for what you will take. Get involved in some hobbies, give back to your community..just get him out your system. Pray about it...
2007-09-09 11:59:57 · answer #1 · answered by rayne81 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any emotions that linger after a protracted time recommend something. If it particularly is getting in the way of your modern dating, you are going to be able to desire to settle on what's extra important- hurting your lady pal or probably your happiness and honesty to your self and truthfully anybody else.
2016-12-13 04:32:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like he is upset because you are NOT upset.
The having it made is not all it looks like it is. You must have children by this man, otherwise I don't understand why you still want to 'win' with him. If you don't have children, but him on invisible. If the two of you have children, just stay as far away as you can. Find someone you can be interested in and move on.
2007-09-09 11:46:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain! 1st of all, he treats you like this because he can. 2nd of all, it's over. Try to accept it and move on - have you tried some "feel good" things? A new haircut, new clothes (perhaps some kick a** shoes)? To help kick his a**? (smile) How about a makeover? (To make you feel like a new person)? Sometimes, feeling "new" can help you change your behavior as well. We all know "breaking up is hard to do", but eventually, the pain fades...let us know what happens; for some reason I really feel that a lot of us "feel you" in our guts! good luck
2007-09-13 09:32:17 · answer #4 · answered by Andra J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok your making this sound like your in the same house as them? by the sounds of how he treats you I hope your not because you dont need this abuse.
2ndly why do you feel you need to "win" , he is emotionally abusive and you trying to re-assert yourself by beating him in any argument will only end up with you being stressed and exhausted its not worth it honey trust me been there done that .
My ex husband was verbally abusive he calmed down after I left but now he's with the "new woman" 6 years of friendship we built has gone down the drain and because she was emotionally and physically abusive to her 2nd husband (my brother) I've noticed the abuse coming out in my ex husband again I am over giving him the satisfaction of knowing he's hit my sore spots and now i just laugh at him.
Dont speak to him unless you have to if he has kids with you , you stay inside when he comes to get them and make sure if he has anything to discuss he writes it in a letter and leaves it in your mail box or sends through snail mail so he isnt involving his kids in it.
You want to re-assert yourself do it in a way it wont exhaust you it works when you dont bite anymore he has NO power and there fore doesnt win.
Try it , good luck.If he keeps up with the threats of you needing to be hurt get a peace n protection order or a domestic violence order on him but let the drama go or he may use it against you in a court of law.
2007-09-09 11:43:48 · answer #5 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because he needs to let her know he no longer loves u, he is doing it for her benefit. he isn't the one hurting, and he has a life and a future so he doesn't care if he hurts u, he's insensitive. but most of it is for her benefit so she will really feel u are not in the picture anymore, and he could care less. distance yourself from him, u aren't going to win here. he is mean because he isn't listening to his conscience, he is too preoccupied. in every dying relationship there is always someone hurt and someone who thinks they have it together. but she has a rude awakening, as one day he will be treating her the same way as he is treating u now. she won't remain on that pedestal forever. this is who he is, part of his character and it does hurt to be treated like this after u invested years, and loved the person and thought they loved u, and now u can't even get an ounce of respect. but every dog has its day and karma is a ***** he will get it back in some shape or form for how he is treating u. no sin goes unpunished.
2007-09-09 11:41:34 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is my experience, it takes 2 to be stupid. You do not have to play. If he cannot talk to you like a human, either in person or on the phone, smile and hang up on him. I know its easy to want to win in an arguement, especially with this jerk. But you must realize, by walking away from this situation, you take away his control over it. Theres no need to throw gas on an open flame, walk away. He will find another target to manipulate in your abscence, and stand proud to know it won't be you.
2007-09-09 11:54:04 · answer #7 · answered by blissfully_incoherent 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is being childish.
Get the lawyer and take him to the cleaners.
It is the proper response to this maneuver.
2007-09-09 11:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he's an idiot. but you have got to stop allowing him to treat you badly. Put your foot down and let him now what is and is not acceptable to say to you.
2007-09-09 11:43:28 · answer #9 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i agree just say good bye dude he is defintley emotionally abusing you so dont have contact with him and make it clear you dont want contact with him. if he violates this get yourself a restraning order..
2007-09-09 11:42:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋