My daughter wants her ears pierced. Is 6 too young to make that decision?

Question

Until yesterday, I would have thought so, definately, but she has put forward quite an argument.

Mum, can I have my ears pierced?
No
Why not?
I want you to wait until you are a bit older
How much older?
When you are about 10
10, why?
So you can be sure you want them
I'm sure now
but once the studs were in, it would be too late to change your mind
Why would I change my mind?
You might decide you didn't like having your ears pierced
How many girls do you know who don't like wearing earrings?
And because it'll hurt
Of course it will, its holes being put in your ears
But you might cry
Yeah, I probably would, but 2 minutes of hurting means I'll always be able to wear earrings
When you are ten
It'll hurt just as much when I'm ten

Her father says as long as its her choice, and only 1 pair, he is OK with it. I'm not sure how I feel now that she has convinced me she understands what she is looking to get herself into.

Answer 1

U either go through it now or when she is 10. Whats the difference? u may as well get it over with. She obviously knows what to expect and as long as you help her to look after them so they dont get infected i dont really see a problem.
Thousands of young girls have them done all the time, the only time i dont agree with it is when parents get their babies and toddlers ears pierced- its sick. Wait til they are old enough to know what it actually is and let them make the decision.

Answer 2

I had my both of my daughter's ears pierced when they were about 2.
My neices were all under 6 when they had theirs done.
My oldest daughter still wears hers, she's 19.
My youngest, made a decision to let them close when she was 10. She can always re-pierce them.
Either way, yes, I think she knows what she wants by 6. (Earring wise, not all things.) Explain that she has to leave them in and keep them clean.
Make sure it's not a tiny, needle thin piercing earring. If it is, she won't have holes big enough for regular earrings later. Then it will hurt later. We found that out with the girls the hard way. I've always wondered if that's why my 13 yr. old didn't want them anymore, it was always hard to put them in.
I was 19 when mine were done. My father and I fought about it all my life...and as soon as I was on my own, I had it done. Looking back, there were so many other important things to really argue about.
The pain really isn't as bad as you'd think. It's the popping sound that is startling!

Answer 3

Lots of good answers here. Make sure she agrees to keep her ears clean to avoid infection. Also, make sure she avoids the dangly earrings until she is a lot older.
I had to wait until I was 16 because my dad wouldn't allow it, and I had to drive my mom to the mall to get my ears done--by the way--it took him almost a week to notice. So when I was 18 I got another set of piercings.

I have two daughters now, 16 and 9 and neither of them wants theirs done, nor have they ever. So if your daughter decides later she doesn't want pierced ears she can let them close up. Or she can just keep a pair of studs in or put them in once a week and keep them open.

Sounds like your daughter has made some pretty good observations as to what she will go thru. Keep the lines of communication open and make sure you still have a say as to the type of earring she wears. Good luck.

Answer 4

I wouldn't say 6 is too young since I too am one of the ones that got their ears pierced as a baby.


If you're feeling iffy about it have her try out wearing clip-on earrings for a while and see if she may like those better.....or even wearing lil decorative stickers on her ear lobes.

I must recommend that you not to take your daughter to a place like Claire's, Icing, Wal-Mart or any store that does "piercings". The people are not professionally trained for doing piercings at all...the piercing gun isn't a sterile piece of equpitment and is used on just about everyone. Take her to a piercing place where they use a piercing needle...of course you daughter will most likley have to wait until she's 16...but at least it's done by a professional that's properly trained and using sterile equiptment.

Answer 5

Your daughter is very wise. She knows it will hurt, and she knows that she won't remember the hurt later on the the future. If she decides that she doesn't want them, she can just let the holes close up over time. No harm done. It's a big responsibility, but I think she can handle it. I'm 13 and I'm completely regreting not having my ears pierced. I'm hoping to do it soon. :)

You're lucky to have such a smart girl. She'll do great in the future. Hope I helped. :)

Answer 6

What is wrong with you people?
The next thing you know, you will be saying it's ok for the kid to make up her mind if she wants to have sex at age 8, marry at age 10, have a baby at age 11.and dead at 16from suicide (pressures from growning up way too fast) Why WOULD you give a child that much responsibility in decision making processes? For the love of God(and your child) be a responsible parent and let this child BE a child as long as she possibly can.In case you haven't noticed, many ADULTS can't handle the pressures of everyday life. Achild is a child for a reason.They need guildance and structure from responsible rational thinking adults and right now I am not thinking this is you OR her father!

Answer 7

Pierced ears are a responsibility. My thought is she needs to work for the privilege of getting them. If she can prove to you that she can successfully accomplish one chore (of about equal weight and length of time she'll need to care properly her new pierced ears), then I'd say she is old enough.

If she whines, and doesn't do it, then she is not old enough to take care of them and it is more likely they'll get infected.

Too, if she has to work for the priviledge of getting them - she'll appreciate it more - it will be 'special' because she's earned it. Even better if you make a big deal of it. Perhaps scheduling a daddy daughter date afterwards to solidify for her that this is a 'big girl' responsibility and a rite of passage.

And to be clear I am not saying make the poor girl do chores beyond her age. She shouldn't have to clean the bathroom - but she could for example sweep the floor after supper each day.

Perhaps the deal could be setting a price to each chore and when she earns enough money from the extra chores to pay for the ear piercing she can get them.

If the cost to get her ears pieced is nothing but buttering up mommy and daddy - she won't appreciate it - and things that are not appreciated don't get taken care of.

Just my two bits.

Answer 8

So yesterday your answer was no, and today (because your 6 year old convinced you) you have changed your mind.

Who's the parent here? What are you teaching her?

To me this has nothing to do with how old she should be. Ultimately, you are the parent and should not be asking advice on a beauty board filled with preteens and teens on what to do with your child (sorry girls). If you want real advice go to the parenting board. But I suggest you grow a spine. She has probably already pick up on the fact she can easily manipulate you into getting what she wants. The earlier you stop this the better.

Answer 9

European families have their babies ears pierced before they are one year old and they are fine. But the mom keeps them clean at that age.

As long as she is old enough to look after keeping them clean she is not to young.

If she does decide to not wear earrings all she has to do is take them out, they will eventually heal over. Not a big deal.

Just make sure you have it done in a sterile environment so she won't get an infection. Otherwise I would let her get them pierced.

Answer 10

If she's desperate then fine. I got my ears pierced when I was 12...but my mom WANTED me to get them pierced when I was 7 or 8. I know tons of girls who got their ears pierced when they were around 4 or 5. It should be okay. Just make sure that she takes care of her ears and that they don't get infected!