My brother is a married man, he has two cute kids and a wife. He loves a girl. Their affair is several years old. Before his marriage everyone in the family had known about his affair. My parents and even I don't like the girl and we denied and he marries my bhabhi (his present wife ). After four years of his marriage now he wants to go back to that girl (his girl friend) leaving my bhabhi (he has no problem with my bhabhi, he loves that girl more). I am very very very worried for my bhabhi and future of their children. That girl is going to marry after three months and before her marriage, they both want to leave everything and go away. My parent don't know that my brother wants to leave. please tell me what should I do for my bhabhi and her children (my heart beat).
My brother and his girl is very serious for their relationship and their mental condition is severe.
2007-09-09 09:58:30 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So you brother married a sheep and is cheating with a hooker? What's the problem?
2007-09-09 10:12:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that you care a whole lot cause I can read your message and feel that you do care a lot. So sorry that this is hard on everyone involved. But all you can really do is talk to your brother about his kids and how they need thier Mother and Father together. If this appeal does not reach him then you will have to stand aside and allow your brother to make his own mistakes. You cannot help or control who he falls in love with and who or why he is no longer in ove with the other. Just try to be there for the kids since this might be hard on them and be there for your Bhabhi. I guess this is all the advice I know to give you right now. Time takes care of everything and time will make everyones heart better. You will see. God Bless you and it will be ok.
2007-09-09 10:13:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do, because you would only be interfering if you tell your bhabhi what is going on, and she may not believe you. You can be sure she knows who to go to for financial advice, and get information for her so that she will know how to get her fair share out of a divorce. Usually, after an affair is over, the man wants to come back. Be sure your bhabi and children get some kind of counseling to make her strong enough not to let him come running back. Since this has gone on for so long, it may not be "patched up". If you think it can be, take your brother aside and suggest he get help before making the final move. This is an almost impossible situation, though, as he only sees life from what he wants. Please get all of the information you can to protect bhabi in the court system so that he walks away with everything and she is left on welfare.
2007-09-09 10:06:30 · answer #3 · answered by dutchlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was wrong of u and your parents to deny marriage to the girl of his choice. Even now do not tell your parents, or they will pressurize him, and the same history will repeat itself, if not tommorrow, maybe some other day. If your bhabhi cannot win the love of her husband for the last 4 years, she may not be able to do it now. Let them work out some settlement, if u and your parents keep on intefering, how can your brother and bhabhi every have a working relationship ?
2007-09-09 22:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the first place, it’s nice to hear, that you care about the future of your sister in law and her children. This really does honour you as a good person.
Unfortunately, you can do nothing to change your brothers’ plan. He made up his mind and although neither you nor your parents do approve this girl, he seems to be serious with her and willing to split up with his actual marriage and family.
Obviously, he should never have married your sister in law, as he is making her miserable, he never loved her and he never will.
He always has been in love with this other girl and that’s why he will never make a good husband with his actual wife.
Maybe she will be better off without a husband, who seems to cheat on her and doesn’t care for her and her children.
He shouldn’t have married her at all.
So this goes for your family and you: Never try to force somebody into an unwanted marriage, as in the end everybody will suffer! Now, his poor wife suffers, his innocent children will suffer a lot, your parents are suffering, you suffer - even your brother is suffering and well, his so-called girl friend surely has suffered a lot see the man she loves getting married with another woman.
All this suffering could have been avoided, if your brother would have married the woman he loved.
I repeat: You might not like her at all, but it isn’t your choice.
What can you do for your sister in-law? Care for her and stand by her, care for the children as good as you can.
And if you are unmarried, why don’t you marry her? (If she likes you, too, of course) Because obviously, you have very strong feelings towards her and you seem to be an excellent person...
2007-09-09 21:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anita P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did he get married when he loved that girl so much? just because his fly didnt like her? doesnt sound logical. by doing it he has spoilt his wife's and children's life. and he is doing it more by cheating upon them. he shouldnt have got married in the first place and if he did he should have forgotten about that girl. i really pity your bhabhi. but personally i think u cant do anything about it. u can only put some sense in your brother's mind to save the lives of wife and children. u cant do anything more than this as this is his personal matter. it shouldnt happen that u get insulted in return and be asked to mind your own business. if u want to let your bhabhi know about it so that she can take her own decision get some proof and let her know it but anonymously.
2007-09-10 18:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by sweetu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very difficult and serious.
In USA he cannot do this, he needs to divorce his wife,and the divorce settlement will hold him responsible for child support till children are of age under the law. He may be responsible for alimony for the life of his present wife also. This is true all over the world but not enforced in many places,the extent of the reach of the arms of law is always different in different places.
He can go to jail for abandonment.
He must not have married and you said, "we denied" this was a big mistake on your part, what is done is done but this should be resolved legally, amicably for every ones shake so tell him to see a lawyer.
After that every one should let him work out all the legal angles, and other angles.
Show him this answer.
One mistake was enough, do not make more mistakes.
2007-09-09 11:31:53 · answer #7 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to save your brother's family life..your brother and his girl is infatuated to eachother..so they won't listen anybody but after a while he might get regreted but it will too late..so stop him before getting wrong direction of his life...talk to your parents and bhabhi about let them know to decide about it..may God bless him..he is being selfish now..that girl shouldn't be invole into anyone's family life..nomatter how much love she has for him and cheated with her fiancee..she doesn't seem honest & faithful to her Love..
2007-09-11 06:32:07 · answer #8 · answered by Diya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Expose his affair and stop keeping his secrets. Let him deal with reality. Many affairs fall apart when exposed to the light of day.
If you care for his wife and their children, then let her know her enemy. Let her start to protect herself.
Most affairs are based on the fantasy, and the reality of really losing his wife and children may change things.
The affair partner doesn't seem to committed to your brother either, she is going to be married to someone else in three months?!?
His wife maybe better off without her cheating husband. She can be free to find a man who really loves her. Your brother will have to support his children regardless.
2007-09-09 11:13:44 · answer #9 · answered by joyh 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would say that ur bhabhi should go and meet that 2nd women and tell him that he is have a two child that is of his bf ..make him understand the whole situation ...if she bhas the brain then that girl will leave him ..or do 1thing if he want to get divorse then ask him for allemany for around30-40lakhs he could not affort ..and without divorse the 2nd marriage is illeagle (not accepted)in a court
2007-09-09 17:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by monika m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot stop your brother right now. The only way to stop your brother is to stop your brother's lover. Yes, if you stop her in any means your brother will also stop.
You can use many ways to stop her like threatening, or black mailing but i advice you to go legal way. Charge a complaint against her in any Women Cell of police or commission for family or any private / government organizations that deal with women affairs or family affairs by your bhabi. Invite her for councelling and change her mind. It will work. If she does not heed to this then you can move by law against her through the same organization.
I hope time is already running out for you. Please act fast as i said and save bhabi. Good luck.
2007-09-09 19:28:54 · answer #11 · answered by Shinoj Kumar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋