We have been happily married 16 yrs..He has lied and kept stuff from me in the past(nothing bad like cheating)..In the past yr or so i have paid more attention to this situation..Last yr he lied about numerous things which i found out about so i had a talk with him and he said he wouldnt do it anymore well he did it again and so i had another talk with him and he promised me he would be open and honest with me from that day on..This was last yr and i hope he has..So my question is should i believe/trust him on his promise..Other then this we have no other problems.
2007-09-09 09:42:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So iwanna i guess him lying to me isnt disrespecting me?
2007-09-09 09:54:57 · update #1
Ms it just about a lot of different things.
2007-09-09 09:58:16 · update #2
Lady "little white lies" are still lies.
2007-09-09 11:00:04 · update #3
If the lies are just "white lies" and "nothing big" like you say - why is it such a big deal to you?
Honestly, my man has "fibbed" to me in the past about little things - at first I was hurt and upset. But then I realised that it really wasn't that big a deal. In any relationship, you need to learn to pick your battles. I wasn't interested in confronting him about such trivial issues.
So now I just let it go - if it really bugs me, I let him know. That usually puts a stop to it.
If what he's lying about is a big deal to you, then yes, make an issue of it and let him know. If it's not a big deal, let it go. You know he's fibbed, you caught him at it - you know, he doesn't. Be happy you know him well enough you can catch him at it ... when he gets good enough to lie and not get caught, there's problems on the rise.
Best Wishes.
2007-09-09 09:58:30 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Ariana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear this and she is young which means she will be around to torment you for a long time- you should start with your husband find out what he is thinking if he loves you and enjoys being married- he isn't living with you so what is he thinking- I'd give the mother in law the apt and take my house back. If she stays and you and your husband are happy then separate the two relationships DON"T complain to him about her- let him see it for himself so you are not nagging at him!!! Don't clean up after her and if she doesn't like your food then suggest that she cook for herself or go out and get something- make enough for the two of you who enjoys and appreciates the food. Is there a reason she doesn't work? If she is able she better get willing and you have to play nice with your husband to keep him on your side but if you do that he will eventually see what she is doing then if things never get better you can tell him you love him but he has to stand up for you??? Good luck
2016-05-20 08:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every chance taken between two people is worth taking as long as things change, i have learned over the years that once someone lies to you that they still will lie no matter what, in your case i hope things work out, but once u have been lied to its very hard to get that trust back, if not u would not be on here asking this question.
2007-09-09 09:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been with your husband for 16 years? First of all if he is lying about money then maybe he has a mental condition. There has to be a reason for why he is behaving the way he is. Have you been very controlling? Sometime men with behave oddly is their environment is uncomfortable. Maybe have him see a doctor?
2007-09-09 09:56:42 · answer #4 · answered by msgolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that's his habit, do 'good' lying, means lying for something good, ex: don't want you upset, or try to avoid argument with you for something he wants to do but he knows for sure you won't like it.
my husband has the same habit, once i tried to explain to him that i don't like him lie to me for anything, even small thing, and he said that i am still lucky because he's not lying because he's cheating, most guys 'say the true' to their wives, but when the wives work or sleep, they **** a hooker or another girl in the kitchen.
I think about it, that what he said is true. everyone has a bad side, and lying is our husband bad side.
my suggestion, if you still love him and still wants your marriage life, please stop to find out. if you don't know, and don't force him to answer your question, meaning he's not lying. remember, not telling something to you does not mean he's lying, if he's not giving you the true answer, then he's lying. So stop asking and force him to lie.
I've done that, and i'm feeling better now, i don't ask who called him, where he's money going, what he does all day... and the result, he's telling me myself everything i want to know... give him a privacy, will make him share his privacy with you...
2007-09-09 10:08:10 · answer #5 · answered by febe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based only on his past track record of lies, it would be awful hard to retrust him on anything he says.In this case, actions would definitely speak louder than his words so time will tell you here, but dont put too much trust in him just yet
2007-09-09 09:50:55 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on what he lies about. Is it money? stuff he does outside of the home? work? Depends on how it affects you and your lives together. You can test him, but then he'll know you don't trust him and he will always be on guard and may lie just because.
you either go on trust til you catch him again, or you don't.
2007-09-09 09:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Snoop around and make sure he is telling you the truth. I wish you would have told us what kind of stuff he kept from you. If it was credit card purchases, get hold of those statements and make sure it isn't happening again. Whatever it is, keep your eyes open. Remember if it happened once, it could happen again.
2007-09-09 09:55:54 · answer #8 · answered by Julie H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're married, happily or not, it's suppossed to be TRUST without question.
Whatever he lied about can't be so bad that you have to question his trust or not..You're still married.
But I understand to a point of trusting him about anything, that may take time to get bk.
Good Luck!
2007-09-09 09:50:51 · answer #9 · answered by THEMrsMinLa&Momof2 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After being untrustworthy he needs to earn your trust. Make sure he knows this. This is a problem that affects everything in your marriage.
2007-09-09 09:54:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋