My teenage daughter and her friend sneaked out from the friend's house, drove with a teenage boy to another town, drank alcohol, and was caught by a highway patrolman who, luckily, is a local and just called the parents instead of hauling them in. To top it off, I had called her twice in the evening to make sure they had no plans (with the girl's parents of course) because my daughter had packed a "good" outfit and I found that odd if they were staying home. I should have listened to the little voice, but she assured me they weren't going anywhere.
She's been a good kid and this is her first real mistake, but it's a big one in my book. Especially since I've preached to her about driving with some who is drinking and drinking in general since there are quite a few alcoholics in our family. I'm just so mad I could spit nails.
I've taken her cell phone, cut her off from the home phone and she will going nowhere except to school and places WITH ME. What else?
2007-09-09 08:18:19 · 34 answers · asked by Someday Soon 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
okay...let me tell you how MY mom handled it!!! when i snuck out and went to a party...she tracked down the boys parents and let them know exactly what went on!!! i no longer have a cell phone...my windows are nailed shut!!! all the doors have double dead bolts with ONE key that stays with her! she wakes up in the middle of the night and checks on me...i was grounded for ONE month from everything!! she would even call my teachers to make sure i was in class!!even now after my grounding...shes over my shoulder when im on the computer and phone! the only friend i am able to hang out with is the only one that can pass a drug test!! hell when i got in the car with a guy who was drinking and driving..she wanted to press charges on him!! so..theres a lot that you can do! trust me... i wont be doing that again..cause even tho it was ONE mistake..it could have costed me my life!
2007-09-09 08:49:19 · answer #1 · answered by susan 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband works as a secure supervisor at our juviniles center here.
What you have done so far is good. But your right don't stop. That was a big deal!! I would also not allow her to hang with that so called friend.
Alcoholism ran in my family as well. See if there's an alateen meeting anywhere in your area and make her go. Oh she will hate that! Also Its to bad I didnt know you better. Ive been through a situation where kids were killed in a drunk car accident. They think its cool and fun til some ones hurt or dead. Then live with that. I have seen it tear kids down.
Be very very consistant with all the punishments. Dont let up for nothing. Cause then she will think that it was nothing and next time she may not be so lucky. Stop this before she gets herself killed. Show her pics of drunk driving accidents where lil kids and kids her age have died. I am sure you could find some online.
Hang in there!!
2007-09-09 08:26:37 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
U should take away anything else she might have like a computer, or evn just anything that isnt needed that u hv bought for her, like an ipod or like i said, computer, TV etc. Just mk sure she still has the basics liek a bed and clothes and stuff. It may sound unfair at first to her, but u as her mother gv your time and effort and money to try and make sure she is happy and living a good life. She went out and almost ruined it all by drinking and getting in a car with some1 who also was drinking. Basically you should tk anything you hv given her that is not a basic need, as she could have completely thrown it all away and all that reward for the time u put into helping her live a good life would hv been gone.
2007-09-09 11:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by caltc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing that you can do is take her to your local police department and have her watch a video on what happens when you drink and drive. I would also let her know all the dangers of being young a drinking.
Something creative? I would make her write a 6 page essay and why she decided to do what she did and why what she did made you so mad.
2007-09-09 08:57:47 · answer #4 · answered by Operator 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does she like the most; what does she "live" for? I mean,taking away a phone from someone who doesn't use it isn't much of a punishment, nor is taking away tv rights from someone who doesn't watch much. But if someone HAS to keep up with their favorite show or they "can't live" without the Internet or their video game system,or whatever, then that's what you take away. Whatever she loves or "needs" the most would be the most punishing to take away. it seems harsh, but it should get the message across a lot quicker than taking away something she could easily live without.
2007-09-09 08:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Understood 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That should do it.
It might be a big mistake that she made but it IS her first, and trust me she is already going to be miserable without a phone and the total lack of freedom, just make sure she knows that the next time she messes up the punishment will be much worse.
I come from a family of alcoholics too and I understand how you want there to be a big punishment for this so I would make it a very long grounding and make her earn her freedom back.
2007-09-09 08:28:24 · answer #6 · answered by katy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
oh please. im 15, and the whole 'taking away privledges' is so old. i say let her try to gain ur trust back. let her go places, but everytime u call her, ask her if she's drinking. dont let her live it down, ever. everytime she does something else wrong, say 'well, at least u werent drinking'. dont let her live it down until shes pleaing with u to quit bringing it up.
thats what my friends mom is doing to her, same situation, except my friend snuck out of her own house and went to her friend houston's (kayla, as her mom knew him) house. its driving her nuts, to the point where she refuses to sneak out.
if u want to take away something that she cant live without, take away any trust or respect u have for her, any faith u have in her actions. cuz if shes always been a good kid, she'll have tons of trouble living without that! i know my friend is!
2007-09-09 08:39:57 · answer #7 · answered by Mo 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Its a good thing to punish her but you should also not try to restrict many things from her she is going to keep doing it and things may get worst taking her cell phone is enough and punish her for like about a month dont do too much
2007-09-09 10:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Make her write an essay on the dangers of drinking and driving.
That way, not only will it make her think twice about disobeying or lying to you again (because what kid wants to write an extra essay?), she'll be learning about what kind of danger behavior like that can put her in to.
2007-09-09 08:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What else? You have done quite enough. Now you sit down and talk with her. Get some material about traffic accidents and show her the dead bodies as the result of drunk driving. Anyway talk some sense with her and appeal to her responsibility
2007-09-09 08:30:09 · answer #10 · answered by john c 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋