Tips on how to subdue an angry out burst?

Answer 1

In some relationships, coercion and techniques of mind control may be used to keep a partner in a submissive state through verbal and physical abuse. Mind control refers to a system of influences that disrupts or undermines an individual's identity (beliefs, behavior, thinking and emotions) and replaces it with a new dependent identity. Steven Hassan describes these techniques in his book about cult behavior, Combating Mind Control. Hassen's description of the mind control techniques used in political regimes, enemy prison camps and religious cults parallel those practices used in abusive relationships. People who need to subdue others create self doubt in their partner. They play on people's fears as a means of control.

According to psychologist, Phillip Zimbardo, psychological research has shown how hard it is for people to resist aversive forces designed to bring them to their knees. He describes mind control as "the process by which individual or collective freedom of choice and action is compromised by agents or agencies that modify or distort perception, motivation, affect, cognition and/or behavioral outcomes…. Conformity, compliance, persuasion, dissonance, reactance, guilt and fear arousal, modeling and identification create a powerful crucible of extreme mental and behavioral manipulation."

Dominant people start "training" their unsuspecting partner to give in early in the relationship. They use looks of disappointment, glares, verbal threats, and withdrawal as well as outbursts of anger to get their way. These acts of domination may be subtle at first then they become overt. Dominant people need to have the upper hand in the relationship to control their own sense of inner anxiety. They may be charming and loving at first to get the woman to fall in love with them. After they "get the woman in their pocket, they start objecting to her small acts of independence and starts to corral her behavior by criticizing whatever threatens them. The woman, feeling validated because someone loves her, starts to give up small autonomous ways of acting. Her self-esteem starts to erode and she gives her power away in order to keep the relationship.

The woman goes along with the cutback of her independence at first, without recognizing what is happening. She makes excuses and denies the power dynamics that crates inequality. The man denies the problems in the relationship and uses put downs, criticisms and abusive language. If attempts are made to discuss problems, the dominant partner says, "We don't have a problem. You have a problem." and starts using verbal abuse or withdraws into cold, rejecting silence. The woman begins to feel guilty and that the problems in the relationship are her fault. She has been blamed and hounded into her that she is bad so much that she starts to believe it.

Some abusers are so charming. The charming abuser is the hardest kind to understand, as the woman cannot justify the two sides of the man's personality in her mind. The typical mind control starts out with making the woman feel special but over times her mind becomes so confused that she cannot recognize what is going on. They use isolation of their partner and intimidation to protect themselves from this fear of loss. Unless the woman sets strong boundaries or walks away, the scenario is set for domination/submission. She must be willing to give up the relationship at this point to gain any bargaining power. If she stays, she will pay the price of decreased self-esteem.

There can be an attraction to dominance and authority that appeals to some submissive people. Some dominant men are charismatic. The pressure to conform is so great that the person who has tendencies to be submissive gives up free choice. The romantic bond in some relationships keeps the couple locked in a love/fear cycle. The one who is berated appears to desperately need the berater and vice versa. The use of anger, guilt, fear and manipulation coupled with physical and sexual often causes the submissive partner to shut down. Tongue lashings interspersed with kindness puts the partner in a total state of confusion, fostering extreme co-dependency.

There is a strong imbalance of power in disordered relationships. The dominant partner justifies the negative means by which he keeps the other person in tow. The dominant person may have some form of psychological instability or an antisocial personality. They develop entitlement beliefs and seek partners who have high degrees of guilt and submissiveness who are easier to control. They suffer from a power addiction. As children, they observed how anger and intimidation were used in their family to control others and learned to identify with the aggressor as a means of survival.

Anger responses are often anxiety driven. The need to dominate others becomes a way that the individual handles feelings of inner anxiety and helplessness. Aggressive behavior can be used in an attempt to avoid feeling vulnerable inside. Checks and balances in the system to threaten his absolute power are not allowed. Lord Acton summed it up well: "Power corrupts, absolute power absolutely corrupts."

The components of domination include controlling the partner's behavior, thoughts, emotions and information. Strict obedience is an absolute rule. Hassen says, "If behavior is commanded, the heart and mind will follow." In abusive relationships, the dominant partner controls what to eat and whether the other partner should work outside the home. Permission must be asked for minor things. Control of thought is accomplished by rigid thinking with "You must think as I do or you are bad." There is no room for interpretation or deviation from the black and white reality that is presented by the dominant partner.

One type of mind control used by the dominant partner is "Read My Mind" where the man expects that his thoughts should be interpreted and carried out by others. The controlling partner gives minimal information or a part of the story verbally and expects others to be on the same wavelength with him. When asked for more information, he gets angry and berates the other person for not understanding. The listener is caught in confusion and feels stupid, as she falls into this trap of rigid control. The submissive partner becomes helpless due to the unpredictable and uncontrollable nature of the abusive relationship. The nebulous internal boundaries of the submissive partner become fluid allowing the dominant partner to take over, with harmful results.

Answer 2

Detect if there is any repressed anger first. Detect/Reflect upon when the outbursts happen and with whom, where, why and the like. You did not specify if the outburst was a reaction from someone else or when you are alone by yourself. You hold the answer as to what will work. It may take some trial and error. Coping skills develop over time. Knowledge is power though. Example. An ****** want to provoke you to get a reaction and will bully and then try to cry victim. When you know this; you wont react as you are aware and if you have self worth, along with valuing time; you wont give him or her a reaction.

Answer 3

I don't think realistically I could do any sort of grappling with a rottweiler without getting my face bitten off. If I end up on the bottom chances are very high that eventually he'll be able to make his way up to my face and neck. A dog's body dynamics are very different from a human's which would make it almost impossible to hold him in my closed guard (not to mention the fact that he would just bite into my belly, thigh or the family jewels). If somehow I could get the top position then I think I would have a chance by getting him on his side (since it would be very difficult to keep him flat on his back) with me in the mount position. The mount would have to be very high up on the dog's body (near his head) with my knees squeezing inwards on his front legs. Then I would place both hands around his neck as close as possible to his snout and push down with all my weight trapping his neck between my hands and the floor. The key is to control the danger, which is his mouth. In this position he may be able to move his head from side to side but there would be nothing for him to bite into. For a human who knows grappling this position would be easy to escape, but not for a dog!

Answer 4

Crack off a loud fart!. LOL This will draw the attention away from the situation. If you start "singing" or screaming "shut up" you just may be taken away in fear of turret's. Kinda like strobe lights and people who are epileptic, you never want to aggravate a situation.

Answer 5

If its your own... sing to yourself, or tell yourself to Shut Up out loud, works for me lol

Answer 6

count to ten, remember you can never take back words.

Answer 7

from someone else?? pay no attention. say their behavior is inappropriate and leave them be.