My friend is a control freak...what do I do?

Question

My really good friend from childhood is a control freak. We knew each other while growing up and then lost touch for about 10 years. We started hanging out again for about an ongoing 1 year now. She is a very good person, my new family (my mom, step-dad, step-bro, and me) totally accepts her and says she is a part of the family. My step-dad says she's bit of a control freak but she's really nice...and for me to be a little patient with her. But friendship is about equality. Whenever we go out, she does all the talking and when I talk...you can tell she isn't listening. I'm kind of getting sick n tired of it really. She's 3 years older and in korean culture the older one takes care of the younger one...but we live in America for God sakes and because of that "culture" she only lives by...her controlling issues are even that much more a problem. We are planning to go to Europe together with a tour group (around our ages) and I feel that she won't allow my inner being to shine

...around others because she controls me. She probably doesn't even realize it. For instance, yesterday we were in her car, I asked to change the song to Fergie, she straight out put her index finger up indicating "no, wait!" She treated me as if I was one of her students (she's a bible study teacher at her church)...what should I do? Should I call her and just tell her whats on my mind and how should I do it so I don't hurt her feelings? Or...maybe I should be upfront.

Answer 1

girlfriend,assert yourself !! why are you worried about making her mad,it's obvious you let her get away with being your boss,now tell her but in a nice way,friends are understanding.just tell her you think she's kinda controlling at times and it bothers you,talk it out.

Answer 2

Just tell her that you need her to recognize that she is not the only person in this relationship. Do not allow her to interrupt you when you're talking, (just say, excuse me, I was talking, please let me finish), or if she's obviously not listening, stop talking and ask if she is listening. Sometimes if I feel someone isn't listening to me, I just stop in the middle and go silent. They usually get the picture. Don't allow yourself to be controlled. She can only do it with your permission.

Answer 3

move on, there's nothing you can do. She needs to be aware of what she is and get professional help for it. If you critizise her she attack you and get very angry, they need to always be right.