My husband and I have been married for almost two years. At first I thought that our difficulties were because we did not live together before we were married and we needed to get used to one anothers habits. But as time goes on, we are having more problems not less. It is just the two of us, with two dogs. He has his dream job and I have a decent job. We fight over money, the dogs, chores around the house . . . almost everything. So here is part of my problem, he works on call and doesn't have a normal schedule, he comes home and sleeps and doesn't think that he should be responsible for any thing around the house that he doesn't want to be. He wants me to take care of him, take care of the house, and everything else. He will help if he has slept as long as he likes, done whatever he wants on the computer, and talked to his friends from work. He ignores me and thinks that I shouldn't ask him to spend time with me. He says he will do it on his own if I leave him alone. RIGHT.
2007-09-09 06:13:57 · 7 answers · asked by star13769 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay the two of you need to get some counseling. Personal habits aside you have different concepts of marriage clearly and need to get those closer to the same thing otherwise you are headed for more trouble. Good luck.
2007-09-09 06:20:09 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well i think sitting down with him and communicating your feelings is best to do. tell him that you love him but by doing things in the house and stuff for him and plus working you get very tired. always acknowledge his positives to because if not then he will become defensive against you. so maybe you could say this " honey, i understand you love your job, and it may be hard for you because you are always on call, but i have been under alot of stress lately with taken care of the house and working. i understand your schedule does not permit you to do as much around the house as i can but maybe you could help me once in a while by just spending time with me making dinner or something easy." that way he might realize you want him to spend time with you. hope this helped. =)
2007-09-09 13:26:17 · answer #2 · answered by Chelsea C 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to leave his messes for him to clean up. After awhile he will see what a mess he makes, and will figure out that you are not going to clean up after him. Don't ask him to spend time with you, get out there and do the things you enjoy, but be true to your wedding vows. A person can only be abused if they allow it, and he is abusing the marriage. When he figures out that you are moving on, and not waiting for him to make a life with, he will see what he is doing, or you will finally get fed up and seperate. Counciling, go even if he won't, at least you'll find out if you are the bad guy in this situation.
2007-09-09 13:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't leave him just yet it depends on before. Were you once totaly in love. I would sit down and calmly talk this over with him explain that you are suposed to love eachother not be arguing. tell him that you are supossed to be a team and the ones who love eachother. Do you still love him anyway? If so just keep thinking that that's all that matters tell him that he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Tel him you're supossed to pull eachother through this harsh time.
2007-09-09 13:23:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. Well, work on it. Get counseling. If things don't get better, don't waste 20 years living in hell. There ARE other people who are considerate and loving and won't ignore you and treat you like the hired help. After awhile, love has nothing to do with it.
2007-09-09 13:24:14 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Kim 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there hunny........ You need to sit down and talk, NOW! Let him know that if things keep going the way they are, there WILL be divorce. Marriage is a 2-way street, if both are not putting something into it, it doesn't work right! It sounds like you both need to compromise, but you do NOT need to be his mother, which is what it sounds like to me, and what it was like for me! Councelling might help to, but you need to make him see, that it is SERIOUS! You not just annoyed..... this is your lives!
2007-09-09 13:18:47 · answer #6 · answered by vega_five 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why'd you marry such a loser? DIVORCE!
This guy has a lot of dreams stuck in his head and I don't think it's fair if he can't support the house and support your dreams. If someone in your life can't be responsible then I think you should just leave them.
2007-09-09 13:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by astrolame 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋