Ok well, I am well past my teens, but man those were the days! Anyway, my older brother, and my sister-in-law, had their first child when they were 14 and 15. One of their children is pregnant, and she is only 16! I love my niece to death, and I would be there for her until the end of forever, it's just that I think that she made the wrong decision, and that she should have learned better from her parents' mistake. However, I do feel confident that she is mature enough, with the help of her fine boyfriend to raise this child. But this becoming an issue. Don't get me wrong, I believe that teen parents can be just as good as regular parents. I mean look at my brother and his wife, they are a success story. Why do a lot of people look down on teen parents, and feel superior to them? What is your opinion?
2007-09-09 05:51:38 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Alisongiggles, my niece wasn't their first child, she was their 3rd, so she's not the "mistake".
2007-09-09 06:59:00 · update #1
And I wasn't calling the child, who is my nephew, Mason, the mistake. I was saying in general, that my brother made A mistake, but the child of course is not a mistake, but a blessing.
2007-09-09 07:00:56 · update #2
I think that any teen parent can be a good parent if they are ready and willing to give up any and everything for that child. Some of these people are saying that NO teen is ready for that, and it's just not true. I believe that teens don't just choose to not be protected, things happen. People are raped, condoms break, pills fail, etc. Nothing is 100% effective. It is the people who only think of themselves, that are the ones who say "well it's my tax money that pays for their stupid mistake.blah.blah.blah.nag.nag.nag" They're so selfish. In smaller countries, that aren't as fortunate as America, people know how to share, and act as a community, and are proud to stand up and say "sure I'll help". America's supposed to set an example, but it's selfish people like that who make us look horrible. There are parents that are 26 years old who live off of welfare and what not, aren't they the real issue? Teenagers are still learning, we make mistakes, we're only human. I don't think that they should be frowned upon for having a kid. They're just as much entitled to their own respect as a 35 year old mom. I just don't understand how some people can be just so close minded, and ignorant towards certain issues. Those are the people that need lives. <333
2007-09-09 06:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think as long as the parents take responsibility and do whats right for the child then its ok.
I have a friend that has 2 babies and just got married last week, shes an excellent mom, and the dad is going to the army to get a better income, so it depends on the maturity of the couple, and if they have the money and time to take care of a child. I'm 17 1/2 and not planning on getting pregnant anytime soon, but if I did my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years would be by my side, and we would work it out.
2007-09-09 08:34:26 · answer #2 · answered by Chey_18 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im from the uk and where i live ( in yorkshire) teenage pregnancy is very high! I dont think the girls make a concious decision to have kids because they can live off the state and get a flat and money every week etc, but it certainly helps!! I know friends of mine that had their children in their teens and have gone the other way, they work full time and provide for their family. I dont neccessarily think its a 'teenage' thing though, there are people my age having kids and living off the state also. I dont think, honestly, there is enough done in schools, sex education, family planning, STI's and the like. But teenagers are just as capable parent material as any other women, but I think when a teenager discovers she is pregnant, and is pondering on what she is going to do, the government make it quite an easy decision with the benefits, housing and help they would recive. I had my kids at 20, which some people think is young, but, I say that now they are both going to school full time, Im still young enough to pursue the things I started before having them. Anyway I m sure your Niece will be a fantastic mum, just like your brother and sister in law have been to her! xxxxxx
2007-09-09 06:15:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I live in a small town in Kentucky. I am 19 and married and have no children. It really breaks my heart that everyone of my friends (my age) has a baby. The main reason is, they're on welfare, food stamps, and are doing nothing with their life. I'm sure everybody is not the same. It just hurts me so badly to see my best friends' lives go down the drain, because they're busy with a baby. They're not even trying to make themselves better. They just want to mooch off of the government forever. Then me, I'd rather wait until my husband and I both have a good career, own a home, and have the security. That's why I look down on a lot (not all) of teenage parents.
2007-09-09 06:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by Tisha 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
my cousin who is 17 and is very close to me, well she used to be. She got pregnant when she was 16, but she hasn't had the baby yet, anyway I think all teens experiment and there is NO way to stop them, even trying to scare them shitless talking about AIDS and HIV, all that good stuff. Although condoms are a good way for protection, nothing is a written in stone. I think it's all in God's plan. i'm not sure why they look down on them, honestly alot of people look down on teens in general, so when they do something that adults are supposed to do, they just think bad about them.
2007-09-09 08:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You say she should have learned from her parents "mistake"? SHE was that "mistake", and I'm sure she doesn't view herself as a mistake, but rather a lucky girl for not being aborted.
I hope she will not view her child as a mistake.
You ask why do a lot of people look down on teen parents? Ask yourself, you clearly agree with that sentiment, or you wouldn't have used the word mistake, considering your love for your niece.
Of course it's ideal to wait until you're settled and in a stable marriage, before having kids. That's often not the way things happen, as you well know. Life choses it's own moments.
It's not for anyone to look down on someone who has a surprise baby. It could happen to anyone who has sex. Birth control fails, often.
It IS up to the friends and family to be as supportive of a young mother as they are of those whose timing is luckier.
2007-09-09 06:01:11 · answer #6 · answered by alisongiggles 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I guess you could consider them a success story...if you consider having a pregnant 16 year old a success. People frown on teenage parents because they're young, and immature, and no matter how 'independant' they think they are, they arent. they're always going to need help from parents,family,friends, etc. They also frown on it because alot of these teenage parents are forced to drop out of school to raise their child.
I'm sure some teenagers can make decent parents but they shouldnt be trying to find out. Theres nothing wrong with waiting until you're older, and more mature, and more stable to have a child. That's better for the parents, and the child.
2007-09-09 05:56:53 · answer #7 · answered by Jo 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
There are reasons why most states have laws that children are not considered adults until they are 18 or 21 years old. The biggest one is that they don't have enough experience to understand the ramifications of their actions. Your brother may be a success story but it is a rare story. The vast majority of teens (especially under 17) that become parents are unable to care for a child either mentally or financially.
2007-09-09 05:58:50 · answer #8 · answered by Truth is elusive 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Yes she made the wrong decision. While I don't believe teenage parents should be put down constantly they also should not be put on a pedestal. They are not good examples. I have heard teenage moms boasting about how they take care of their babies when they live at home and their parents pay for everything! It's annoying. Just like this one girl who was17 and had three kids. If your a teenager having multiple kids something is wrong with you. I have seen a video on youtube talking about teenage moms and all these girls with babies got offended. It's pathetic. If your a teen and you have a baby good for you! Don't expect me to bow down and kiss your feet for it though.
2007-09-09 06:55:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am a teen parent...I had my first when i was 15 and my second when i was 17....The kids father and i are still together....We get no public assistance of any kind, to help raise our kids..We also have our own place and pay all of our bills by ourselves...I graduated high school last spring, and have my CNA. Im also planning on going to college next spring, to become a Surg. Tech.....So to all the people that say teenage parents are bad...I am proof that not all of them are....Also my daughters are very smart...When my oldest daughter turned 2 she was as smart as a 4 yr old....(we had her tested)....So not all teenage parents are bad and cant educate their kids....
2007-09-09 06:58:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋