My father-in-law has been on home hospice care for almost a year now, he had heart valve replacement almost a year and a half ago, and the doctors at the time said probably 6 months. He is confined to a bed in the living room and has 24 hour care and used to say that he wanted to go join his wife in heaven, but now he clings to life as though he will eventually get better. My sister-in-law thinks he is afraid to meet his Maker, since he thinks he wasn't a perfect human being in this life. He is on morphine most of the time so he isn't always very lucid, so I'm not sure he would understand if the subject was brought up. How do we help him understand it is ok to go?
2007-09-09 05:05:09 · 11 answers · asked by Sophiesmama 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Not an easy position for anyone.
When my father was in a similar position before he died (he had a lot to fear) we created a meditation prayer that we would all say from time to time through out our day, each day. Most especially when he was in a coma for six weeks.
We didnt say it to HIM, we just said it out loud to an empty room, or inside our minds as we went about our daily chores.
It was something like.
We support you in what ever decision you make, should you decide to stay or go. We understand, what ever you decide.
YOu can make one that fits YOUR SITUATION. (if you feel you want to ofcourse.)
My father woke up from the coma and died three months later after saying his GOODBYES. (and addressing some emotional issues that he held) We dont always understand why people cling to life, it is not for us to know, it is just for us to BE THERE when and how we can.
I wish you well on your journey of discovery. We were all there when he took his last breath. There was PEACE in the room when he left. A peace he had never known in his lifetime. I believe he had been SET FREE. We werent exactly CLOSE but I was glad I was there.
2007-09-09 05:23:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it's fear, not wanting to let go of this life, or what,
but I also have seen people hang-on. When he is lucid, just let him know he is loved so much and it's time to go. Just had a friend pass away, he would not "go" until his oldest child could get there from out of state. Had been sick for long time, but took a drastic turn for worst, son had just went back home for few weeks. I'm sure science will explain this away, but it is something I believe- just assure him it's time to go.
2007-09-09 05:23:59 · answer #2 · answered by michelle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily a fear of dying can make one wary such as avoiding causes of death such as entering cars i.e a car crash but in statistics one of the main worries that were found in many people lives was the worry of dying however as some people gradually get older the worry begins to fade as they may have already felt like they have fulfilled there life at the age of 60+ by having children then grandchildren ,travelling marriage, divorce whatever.
amy.x
p.s it possibly could
2007-09-09 05:17:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fear of death is fear of the unknown and going through the experience alone. You can tell him he can let go and move on to the next life because loved ones will be there to greet him and help him transition. Read "Into the Light" and "Life after Life."
2007-09-09 05:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think that people will hang on for varying reasons. I don't know if my Mom understood, but the night before when the relatives were at the hospice.. I told her it's ok.. we understand.
2007-09-09 05:14:53 · answer #5 · answered by itsjunglepat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is true that people may feel they have to take care of something before they die. Even if he isn't responsive, it can help to say that things will be taken care of and it is okay for him to go. Is there possibly someone who hasn't been by who would be important to him?
2007-09-09 05:33:08 · answer #6 · answered by Simmi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the staggering administration human beings have over dying is via inflicting it to themselves i.e. suicide. all of us concern dying in some unspecified time interior the destiny in our lives yet what extremely retains us alive and desire to bypass with the aid of life is the inducement to stay each and every day of our 2d with our acquaintances and family participants or, even via ourselves. Happiness, decision and wellbeing is what retains us alive.
2016-10-04 06:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by earles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be positive more and not have any fear in him. Fear can kill a person. Dont you know that? Do not tell him he might have to go, pray to Jesus and believe in the right thing which is called being and staying true to yourself. Dont stay negative and dont ask him to go which is not fair. Imagine someone asked you to go when you dont wanna go. Whether he was a perfect being or not is not you to answer but God knows what is best.
its time you encouraged him and helped him to get over his doubts and guided him to be and believe in himself and in GOD....
My wishes to you.
2007-09-09 05:36:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Death comes when it's time, sweetie. If he's not lucid, he wouldn't understand. You can try just telling him you know he's tired and it's okay to go.
2007-09-09 05:13:28 · answer #9 · answered by red 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A little, it could encourrage someone to lead a healthier lifestyle.
2007-09-09 05:13:14 · answer #10 · answered by l2wh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋