Ok here's what I am asking. Women find a guy and he isn't perfect but he's pretty ok. well, better than nothing anyway. But it's ok, because I can change him into what I want.
they get married and he doesn't change. All attempts to change him fail and so now she wants the help of a professional. so she wants to go to counselling to "help their marrage" when in fact all she wants is help changing him.
2007-09-09 03:12:36 · 16 answers · asked by oldsoftee2001 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A man marries a woman believing she'll never change!! A woman marries a man believing she can change him!! And they both dissappointed!
2007-09-09 03:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by happywjc 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
What type of women are you meeting? I have no intention of changing my man; that would be changing what I love about him. Would be boring if he and I agreed on everything. I also don't put much credence into counseling if you can work it out between the two of you. You would have to find the right counselor as there are good and bad in every vocation. Counseling should be used as a tool to 'open up'; not to try and change someone; unless the person being counseled is looking to change.
2007-09-09 05:53:01 · answer #2 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women aren't the only ones that expect their partner to change. Perhaps women want counseling more then men.
People evolve as they mature. They change on their own. You may think that you haven't changed but you really have. I think women evolve at a faster rate than men, thus the poor image of women wanting to change a man.
Some women and men do go into the relationship with that attitude and that is where it will fail.
2007-09-09 03:27:11 · answer #3 · answered by peggy m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey buddy, maybe she see's it as a way to save the marrige instead of divorce, but some guys are so stubborn and pig headed to even see that there are even problems in the marriage, until the wife leaves and they are standing there wonder what happend.
As a guy, I'd rather go to counceling to help save my marriage than to throw it away and get divorced.
Besides, I'd rather pay someone to help me to save my marriage than lose everything by getting divorced.
Your thinking of women wanting to change their husbands is way wrong. The ONLY way a man will change is if he is willing to change. He is the ONLY one who can change himself.
And in a marriage there has to be a meeting in the middle. And guys talking about problems is NOT a weakness. When there are problems in your marriage, not talking will make things worse.
If there are problems you need to open up and talk about it. Because if there are problems, the ONLY way you or your spouse are going to know how each other feels is if you TALK!!!!
2007-09-09 03:23:18 · answer #4 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What you said sounds good and may have some truth to it. But you can't look at it that way. When married both parties have to please the other and should always want to see them happy. So if one person is unhappy and you can't fix it on your own, why not get professional help to see if it is even fixable....if all else fails at least you can say you gave it your all.
2007-09-09 04:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by BossLady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your basing your question on only one type of women, not all. obviously the woman should have never married in the first place. real women in real marriages want counseling to help work out problems in their marriage because that's what you do, you don't just say "I'm out of here". marriage is work, it requires up keep too just like anything else in life.
2007-09-09 05:29:35 · answer #6 · answered by paula t. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling can bring insight and give understanding to life's problem, and give a way to work it out. but if he is to blame for the problems and will not change than he isn't all that interested in saving the relationship. both parties need to give a little and meet one another somewhere in the middle. counseling does help if your open and willing and want to please her.
2007-09-09 03:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you raise a good point. it's often been said that, a woman marries a man with the thought she can change him if needed and a man marries a woman in the hopes that she'll never change. in that instance , your theory works. not all of us think that way though.
2007-09-09 03:29:45 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Counseling can help couples to see the need for both to change what they are doing. It is not a one way street.
2007-09-09 03:23:12 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
if its something that is important to her, then it should register as something important to you...how you rate priorities in your marriage is your business...however, counseling is a good medium to have an impartial view of how you both think and to compromise when all other venues have failed...obviously the attempts to communicate with you have failed, so she needs a mediation to referee, so to speak...if you participate, you may find that she will compromise greatly if you give a little... as a woman, we want a man who will understand that what is important to us is important to our man...and what is important to you should be just as important to her...
2007-09-10 18:37:38 · answer #10 · answered by sunshine bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋