About 4 months ago, I cheated on my finance by sending messages through the internet, I never physically cheated but I'm still completely at fault. Now, I understand most people don't change, once a cheat always a cheat. But in order for a person to change they must change for themselves, not out of consequence. I've changed, for myself and in doing so, ultimately for us and our relationship. I'm torn, she relives the event almost every day, sometimes shes happier than she's ever been and other times she's depressed thinking about this.
I feel as If I let her go, she'll be happy now and maybe she'll find someone who wouldn't do this to her. But on the other side, I love her very much and 100% know I would never hurt her again. I feel as if I can make it work until I finally prove it to her I can make her the happiest girl in the world. If I didn't believe it so strong heartedly then I wouldn't still be trying to make it work.... Advice please. Thanks
2007-09-09 02:23:52 · 7 answers · asked by Jambiena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is rather up to her, isn't it? Computer cheating isn't really "fornication", but it is for sure putting yourself out there emotionally, and preteting to be something you are not. It is as well a trust issue. That said,
In your place you are rather at the fork in a road, and it is she who must make the decision..... at this point you are like the puppy getting his tail cut off one inch at a time... better it just be all gone. If it takes that the two of you get a few sessions of counseling, then do it. If when you ask, there is nothing more you can do, then, sweetie, accept it, get the hell out of the lady's life, stop wasting your time and hers, and let her find someone else, and you as well.......
Because, 4 months have gone by... four months is long enough to heal or not heal on something like this.. If it is still grinding her up, it may always, and she may end up tossing it at you forever.
You have learned your lesson (hopefully) Then learn as well that there are at times some things that can't get fixed, especially if it is someone else who now must do the fixing.
2007-09-09 02:38:36 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep working on it but my advice is that you both should do some premarital counseling. Either with a therapist or someone at a local church. You messed up and it will take time and proving your character differently that you will not do this again! She is afraid now because you harmed the trust and you need to remind her everyday how wrong you were and take full responsibility for your actions.Be patient and let her have her say untill she can work it out within herself. Tell her you love her even when she is at her worst about it and hold her and tell her to let you carry the pain. Never do anything at this point to ever make her doubt your loyalty to her and the relationship. Even when the two of you are out and having a good time together remind her that you are truly sorry to let her know you have not forgotten how you hurt her. Keep full attention on her emotions and feelings and let her know that they do matter and how wrong you were to ever put anything above her and thank her for giving you the chance to make things good and right! And ...never ever never hurt her like this ever again!!
2007-09-09 02:55:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to make her understand that u know what u did hurt her, u do need to talk about it, let her talk without u wanting to sweep it under some rug. to run away from her will prevent u from learning by your mistakes. if u messed up change your attitude and back up a bit. for her to trust again she would need to feel safe with u. resolution to it will require human support, and expressing all feelings she has. u hurt her and she wonders if it will happen again, it will take time to get past this, christian counseling may be of some help here.
2007-09-09 03:18:16 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the nice and comfortable button is you could no longer save happening like this! it gets worse and worse. you will could refer to her approximately it, via fact this is on your innovations you will in all danger look somewhat distant devoid of realising. She's your lady pal why does no longer she understand? Plus you do no longer could spend money to have a robust time jointly, why do no longer you cook dinner her a meal at residing house? %. her some flora from the backyard? Watch a action picture? Bake a cake? Their are somewhat some low priced strategies of having exciting jointly, which i individually think of are much greater particular. Get her interior the photograph, tell her until eventually you're financially good you purely won't be in a position to have the money for to pay all this money, and prepare her how good a time you could have devoid of fancy wining and eating.
2016-10-04 06:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is a holy woman, she will forgive and forget. But your stupid if you do it again.
2007-09-09 03:30:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some times its not ment to be
2007-09-09 02:33:33 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly RIch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its done, she will bring this up till you die... move on
2007-09-09 02:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by prop4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋