is this bullying???

Question

if someone is being constantly condescending to you at work, is this a form of bullying?? someone i work with is constantly critiscising the way i work, also feel like i am ignored and not included as part of the team. i feel like crap because of this and dread going into work, ive seen my boss about this but it seems like he's siding with them. what can i do or who can i speak to about it??

i work in a bar in a hotel. its not personal insults its more like putting me down and making me feel small, and im doing as good as job as they are. maybe it is just me but why then do i feel so miserable about it??

maybe i am sensitive yeah but whats wrong with that?? employers should realise not everyone takes things the same way

Answer 1

It is only bullying if they are doing it out of spite. They may have an actual concern for you'r work habit, in this case they are just being bluntly honest. If you are the only female they may be unjustly judging you. If you really want to stay with the job and fit in I suggest taking the initiative of asking what you need to do to improve and meating those requirements head on. grab the bull by the horns and pull up your boot straps. If you are giving it your all as it is, there is the possibility that you are just in the wrong line of work. Not everyone is suited for certain jobs. I am a great welder and hard worker but when I tried my hand in home construction I realized I couldnt learn the job fast enough and was always falling behind. I pushed myself too hard and passed out from heat stress. So by all means ask them to teach you. Do not let them do it for you and volunteer to learn new ways of doing things. keep busy show them what you have to offer. volunteer help in different departments (managers love workers who can cross train and multi task) You may not ever be great in one position but if you are qualified in more than one jobe you become a very nice rescource to a company. The only thing else I can think of is "attention to detail" Sometimes its the little things that can nail ya. in sports athletes have what are called intangibles. These are traits or qualities that a player carries either self taught or through a natural abilities. They are skills that coaches cant train. Find your intangible skills and push them into your work. This question would be easier to answer if I had some hint of your line of work. I am a former navy petty officer who currently is on a production line as a mig welder, I am 33 and I begin taking my first college course in business next week. Always strive to be better! I would ask that you find some way of bringing yor self esteem back up
Dont let those guys get to you
Beat them at their own game
Its high time you held your head up and let out that part of you that says "whatever you can do I can do better." Feedem there own words, just keep safety in mind and dont push your self into gettin hurt. I say take the challenge hun, hell, they aint gonna know what hitem.

Answer 2

I would say try to ignore it but it seems that this person is intent on upsetting you. Try and write down all the incidences and how it is making you feel then go to you boss with this, if you prepare what you are going to say in advance you can communicate the seriousness of this matter to your boss. If your boss ignores you, take it higher, bullying in the work place is an offence and your company could get into a lot of legal and financial trouble if they do not deal with this problem!

At your very last straw I would say leave and find another job because no job is worth your mental health suffering at the hands of a bully but please do try to fight your corner and tell someone high up in your company that you are finding it hard to carry on with your work and you are being bullied. "bad men succeed because good men do nothing" Be strong and don't go without a fight but please don't allow this kind of treatment, you are worth so much more, good luck honey xxx

Answer 3

Cleo are you a member of a union.if so speak to your union rep if not, then you need to put in an official grievance to your boss. It may seem a little awkward but what have you got to lose your self esteem?It looks like your work associates have already taken that from you, so yes it is a form of bullying,making people feel ignored and it needs to be resolved ,So on monday morning you take a letter into your boss stating what your grievance is and request that he resolves your problem,or sorry really is their problem.Anyway good luck and remember the best thing that could happen is that you leave the job and find a much happier working environment,good luck

Answer 4

Speak to the bully directly before you take other measures. Ask him/her why they are angry with you? Using the word 'angry' will throw him off guard. Wait for an answer. Do not be aggressive. But don't be submissive either. If asked why do you ask, cite situations which you find unsettling. Be up front. Try to work it out with this individual who also has power over how other co-workers treat you. There might be a misunderstanding that you are unaware of. Also when questions are directly asked, the bully most often backs down and stops his actions. Finally, try to befriend this individual. If all of this fails, then seek the higher ups or human resources and make a formal complaint. But, be prepared for an aftermath.

Answer 5

it happens lots out of each 5 student there's a million who's getting bullied in united statesa.this is a terrible project and persons who do it are defined as vulnerable by way of fact they bully to construct a solid charcter or to sense better which does no longer even make sense all and sundry is aiming to place an offical regulation to bullying it occurred in few international places yet now presently most of the international places international don't have an expert rule against bullying it has many sufferers that died by way of fact of it which makes it much extra terrible they died with the aid of suicide or bully assaults and bullying motives deprission and suicidal techniques and self injury (which could deliver approximately dying in case you accedently hit a nerve) that's what i actual understand

Answer 6

This is quite difficult to answer, as you haven't really described how they criticise you. is it like spiteful, do you take on board any of the criticism or do you genuinely feel its unnecessary ?

I guess as others have mentioned, go and consult your union rep if you have one, or why not even, if possible, confront the person (s) who is criticising you, I know that's definitely easier said than done, but it might be worth it.

If you really do enjoy the job and genuinely think you're good at it, then why not look for another place to work which is in the same sorta line. I don't think it's worth staying somewhere where you don't feel comfortable.

Answer 7

Yes this to me sounds like a form of bullying. Try speaking to someone higher tha the boss??? Or start to keep a diary....note doewn any things siad by whom and when and in connection to what. This then pin points things and makes easy recall. Or even have a small dictaphone and tape if you feel it would act as proof. No one needs to or should be treated badly with the playground gang up thing at workplace. Fight back....calmly and with confidence...if you know you are right show them you know.
And I would be looing at other jobs.....but not say a word to anyone....then hopefully stick two fingers up and walk off to better things.

Answer 8

This is psychological bullying and should not be tolerated on any grounds. Ensure you have firm instances in your head, and that you have not done anything that could be perceived as provoking them, then contact a member of your personnel team (or HR if thats what they call it.)

You can do this with the support of another colleague (if you want to stay anonymous) or speak to them yourself, they will arrange a meeting with you and talk it through.

Your options will be given to you, then it's just a case of using your judgement to decide what's best to do. I hope everything is ok.

Answer 9

Maybe you are being just a bit sensitive. the world is not obliged to let you play, work is unfortunately a sh*t place where there are sh*t people. Your boss is unlikely to tell your work mates to "play nice", if they are calling you names or really sending you to coventry, or not giving you information you need to work or some such then this would be bullying. What you are experiencing is not.
Too much crying wolf from sensitive souls just lowers the repsonse to real bullying

Answer 10

If you have already spoken to your boss and he/she isn't sympathetic you can either go to your union rep to voice your concerns or as a last resort start looking for a new job. I hate any kind of bullying it makes my blood boil. Good luck and try not to worry.