Question about sex- serious answers only please?

Question

When your married and love someone how much is sex a weight factor in keeping your marriage together. How many times do you think is not enough. This is a serious question because my husband want's it all the time and I guess between working all the time and the kids I am to tired.

I am 31 and my husband is 32 we have 3 children and I work 12 hr shifts and when I get home it's time to cook and pick up I just feel like the day never ends. Also I am on medication because I was born with a thyroid problem so it may even be the medicine. The only thing I know I don't have time to catch my breath befor it's time to get something else done

As far as giving the guy a break I think that's funny he works 10 hrs and his day is over that there is 2 less than me than I go home and take care of the kids and cook and clean while he is either laying around or off visiting his mom and brothers...So please tell me again who needs the break

This one is to ontheotherhand My husband and I are not into all that stuff we are trying to get by were we live the income ain't that much and raising 3 children is hard to. I am not complaining by no means as far as having to work I love my job and I love my family and we have to do what we can to get by. I know there are alot of people that are worried about the all mighty doller but trust me when I say we are not one of them. We just need it to scrap by.

Answer 1

Working 12 hours, and keeping a home certainly explains a crummy sex life- AND a lack of just about everything except work. That isn't rocket science. So, what ya gonna do? Put marriage and sex on hold until you guys pay for a home, pay for cars, and pay to put your kids through college? Then, put off enjoying your marriage until you manage to set up a nice retirement? Have you folks decided what your priorities are, or have you just loaded all kinds of stuff on yourselves? When a couple spends more time, energy, and commitment on working and goodies than their marriage, they destroy the best part of their lives. Stop being so busy. Get rid of a lot of the crap that requires you both to work so hard. Ya don't NEED computers, cell phones, a big home, a new car, cable TV, name brand clothes, or any of the other things that are advertised 24 hours a day. You guys are probably working for "things" rather than working to live. Just cuz others are silly enough to forget what the point of life and marriage is supposed to be, doesn't mean you have to be silly too. Decide what truly matters.

Answer 2

I believe that sex in a marriage is important, but today people put way too much importance on sex, and then there are guys who want sex all the time, and their wives are too tired from work, and then coming home and then having to do another full time job of cleaning the house, because some of their husbands are too dang lazy to get off their butts and help with the work at home, and the wives get stuck with having to cook, clean, and take care of the kids while their husbands sit around and do nothing. And then the guys get upset whent their wives don't want sex. Hey guys, you try working like that and see if your in the mood for sex. Guys women love those little things, like helping with the kids and helping around the house. Also if she doesn't feel apriciated, I can see why wives won't be interested if they don't feel appriciated for the things they do.

Just a few hints there guys.

Answer 3

Well if your married sex is important because it's in our nature. When you do get married it tends to be less sex only because of the amount of responsibilities. It's NO set number on how many times is enough. Sometimes men and women hit sexual peaks at different times. If your tired it's understandable but you both have to compromise. Does he want sex a lot because he watches porn? or because he thinks your sexy? or is it because it's a stress reliever? That's something you going to have to find out. So that way you will know how to address the problem. Maybe you can give him oral sex or a hand job if your tired. Or maybe you can let him masturbate by you doing something sexy. Sometimes if my husband and I are tired and we want sex we might watch porn together and please each other with our hands and then were done. Not to gross you out but you have to make it work. Having sex releases chemicals bouncing around in your brain. So he may just really need it or he could be selfish. GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

For me marriage means compromise, unconditional love and sacrifice. Sex is an important fact in keeping your marriage together primarily because its a venue in expressing your love for one another. It is not the many times you have to do it BUT why you are doing it. You are blessed that despite having 3 children and your individual workload - your husband remains faithful to you. Count this as a blessing that he adores you and doesn't want anybody else except his wife. Compromise on the frequency of sex and appropriate time. If he really loves you then I am sure he is willing to sacrifice his urges to be with you that often. Talk it over and make him understand that being a working mom is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. Communication is the best solution in resolving your predicament right now.

P.S. Just a thought: You may not realize it now but maybe there's an underlying reason for his urges (like his trying to avoid temptation or discouraging from doing it with someone else)

Answer 5

What an idiot he is! It surprises me how so few men get this concept. Personally speaking, I am married to a man that used to think his work day ended when he left work. He would come home, watch TV or whatever and pretty much left the household chores and child care to me.

I work, too. Finally, I just gave him the heads up and told him, it was a huge turn on for me when he vacuumed the floor or cleaned the kitchen or anything that needed to be done instead of just sitting in the recliner and letting me do it. He has come around slowly, but he is apt to get more if I am not so bogged down with the other crap that needs to be done.

Answer 6

Sex is important but it is not your place to be his sex slave. If what you mean by all the time is every day and more than once a day. He is being to demanding. Like you said you have kids and work. You need time for yourself as well. Tell him if he wants more time for sex. To help you taking care of the kids and home. As in cleaning dishes laundry and the rest. That way you won't be so tired. Tell him not to expect for you to work outside the home. Plus inside the home cleaning and the kids... and still be all hot for when he's ready.. If his job is just the one he gets payed for. No wonder he isn't as tired as you and has more energy for other things.

Answer 7

For a man , sex is a very important part of a marriage. Unless you have some serious medical condition that prevents you I would say if you gave it to him 3 - 5 times a week, he should be happy with that. However he needs to be flexible as well. He should give you the night off occasionally. If you say "sorry not tonight" then make it up to him the next day.

Answer 8

I know how you feel. I work as well, and have two children to take care of, and sometimes I'm just too tired at the end of the day. My husband would like it 4 times a week - but for him it's more as a sign of my love for him and an acknowledgement that he's still sexy to me. He needs it for his ego, as much as for his satisfaction. I need to feel understood and appreciated before I can give him that much. Sex is easier when I'm relaxed on the weekends, not during the week when I'm stressed from work and chores. He seems to need it for different reasons to me. And as far as a man's sex drive diminishing with age, trust me, it doesn't. Find a compromise. He needs to help more, then he gets more.

Answer 9

Sex is EXTREMELY important for relationships to work .... u need to feel attractive and like ur partner wants u i know if my fiance doesnt want to have sex with me i ask y not and being tired is never a good enough answer 4 me... im also a horny person and im never to tired to get laid but n eway its super important to remain sexual and keep that fire burning tell ur husband whats up one night and dont be defensive and tell him u try u really do .... i cant help but ask do u enjoy sex ... there have been times when im falling asleep standing up but i will still wake up 4 sex because its good n worth it ... i guess if it wasnt id be like no fool and i'd roll over ... well i wouldnt of married him n eway ..... well goodluck and i hope it works out 4 u

Answer 10

The intimacy is important. It is not about taking care of 'his' needs, it is both of your needs. Take a cue from the television program that has the husband spend an entire 3 days alone with the kids (complete with various household tasks! keep the house tidy and the dishes clean!), and see if he has enough energy left at the end of the day to perform 50-100 pushups. Guaranteed he will help out more at home when he sees that this will help you have the energy to enjoy private moments with him.