Ladies, would you try to stay with a man who beat you and treated you less than human in front of your children.Who refered to your stretch marks. from carrying two of his children, as jelly belly. Who constantly made you tremble the moment he walked into the room fearing you may be verbally abused or even physically hurt....the sex is no longer sex but a violent act...leaving you feeling like youre less than garbage???I and alot others feel for you and if you want out just get on this page and ask questions where you can get help and get away with your life and the lives of your children...please help us help you..do you want out???
2007-09-07 23:13:25 · 28 answers · asked by Just try to touch my hat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am a mature man...a real man...a man who was taught that you never raise your hand or voice to a woman or anyone for that matter...I am sick of so called "men" beating,terrorizing thier wives and children...but it will never stop just would like to help perhaps just one that would be worth it
2007-09-07 23:34:35 · update #1
How sweetof you to post this. I don't quite understand why some stay. For me all it would take is once. I grew up with an abusive man. Physically, mentally and verbally. I'll be damned if I have a choice in the matter now. Hell, even then I was a runaway kid.Didn't put up with it after I was old enough to leave. I left home when I was 15. My mom didn't seem to mind much either.asses.
2007-09-08 00:16:58 · answer #1 · answered by sunshine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that when someone is in such a situation, they have stopped thinking because they are terrified, scared that if they do anything to cross their man things will only get worse and the guy, husband or significant other, might turn on the children.
I think that those women become prisoners from inside themselves. They probably need to think that things will get better, that if they do everything they should do, then, things are bound to get better.
They feel guilty and believe that they must be responsible for what is happening to them. In that case, how would they even think of asking for help??
They must be ashamed of the situation and also, somehow, they must be convinced that they deserve it.
The worse is if they never knew any different. How can they compare???
Well, I think those women are in danger, but mostly they become dangerous in the way that one day they could just snap, even if they don't expect to do it themselves and the consequences can be terrible.
I think the best way to help them is for them to see what a normal, balanced and loving relationship can be.
They probably never go out, on their own or with friends.
So, what they need most is a friend.
Anyway, good on you to offer help.
I know I wouldn't stay in such a situation, because I have always been stubborn and specially now that I have managed to believe in myself and build my self esteem, there's no way I'd let anybody try to destroy it!
2007-09-08 06:29:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To know the real picture you really need to understand the psychology and dynamics of the whole domestic violence cycle. I have been there myself and i guess in the end it boils down to absolute fear and terror these people cunningly put in you. Leaving is not always as easy as it seems. Some countries laws even now stop a woman from leaving the same town! So the violence (emotional abuse and verbal) continues. To a horrific and terrifying extent. The only thing that gets me through is having a couple of close friends who believed in me and help me through it. Be there for those that need it and go out of you way to help and support.
Some men (and also women i have read) can be horrid.
2007-09-08 06:43:23 · answer #3 · answered by Jo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I lived that exact life a few times in my life; and the answer now is hell no.Life is too short to have to go Thur with being terrorized and making you feel less than a person or piece of $hit.My sister got killed from a nut she was married to; as he said If i can;t have you' no one will.I now am raising her 10ys old son; as he has neither parent now; as i am a father; mother and all of the above.I would tell that person to get out now.You may have to leave some things behind; but they can be replaced; lifes can;t.....
2007-09-08 06:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one deserves abuse....but the abuser always starts the abuse with isolation and soon enough the abuser has the abused believing that they are incapable of surviving in the world alone.
People who are abused feel alone and misunderstood and scared. It is hard to face a world that scorns a woman who will "put up" abuse. And that is exactly what the abused deals with. People loose sight of the fact that the abused isn't "putting up" with the abuse because she is stupid. She is surviving in a hostile environment.
If you know someone who is in this situation...don't make her feel stupid or like you disrespect her. This only reinforces everything the abuser said and makes it harder for her to believe she can do it. Instead help her find a place to live and financial assistance/job. Also help her build a support system of people who really want to help her. She needs to believe in herself before she can progress.
2007-09-08 06:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by blueink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad fact is 10yrs ago i would have said HELL NO but the reality is yes infact that was my life for 6 hellish years!!! He tried to kill me many times, tried strangling me with the phone cord while my children watched ( even to this day i can still see the looks on their faces over his shoulder as i fought to insure my children didnt see me die like that) Ive been out of that relationship for 3yrs now, and im sooooo much stronger now, i have the confidence now to know without a doubt that i would never let a man treat me that way again! Guys like that start off by distroying your self worth, till you honestly belive you deserve it, its your fault and that no other man could ever possibly want or respect you! Ive done alot of work over the last 3yrs to rebuild my self esteem and confidence, and my children are still doing truma therapy so they deal with the abuse in a positive way and the cycle of abuse stops the day we escaped!!!!
Since we got out, ive worked hard to rebuild our lives, im currently studying to be an early childhood teacher, im determind to prove to my children that our history will not hold us back in life and to provide the best life i possibly can for my children!
To any woman out there reading this that is in an abusive violent relationship, yes its the hardest thing on earth to make the decission to leave, and yes it takes alot of guts to do it, but you DO deserve better and there is guys out there that will respect you and treat you with respect!!!! Dont belive in the " im sorrys" or the " it will never happen again" or the flowers or choclates or the loving attention that comes after each assult, thats just all part of the cycle to keep control over you! reality is each time the assults will get closer together and each time they will get worse!
Be strong! take your life back and just get out NOW! u deserve better and trust me, you will find better!
If i can do it, anybody can do it!
And also know there are millions and millions of woman and children out there that have been where you are and have got out. Be a surviour not a statistic!!! Leave for life!!!!!!!
2007-09-08 08:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by mum_of_5 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I did get out. And I did not stay around long enough to get beaten. He grabbed my arms and pushed me i nto the entertainment center, and then onto the sofa. That was it. I waited on him to go to work, I sent the kids to school, then went home, packed and was out of there with no money, no job, and no source of income whatsoever. I dealt with the emotional abuse for a few years though. Now, I have never been happier. If I can do it, anyone can!!!!!!
2007-09-08 06:22:39 · answer #7 · answered by Angelic Valentine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No way would I stay with a man who treated me that way. I don't care if my children were fatherless, it would be better then them growing up thinking that's the way you treat the ones you "love". I hope any woman in that situation can find the strength to get out and NEVER look back.
2007-09-08 06:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by Jenniferann88 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Hell no.... First, not only would I leave him, but I would get as far away as i could. Who the hell stays with a man that beats them for the kids! Okay, kids today daddy is going to beat on mommy all day, but dont let this affect the way u grow up. PLEASE... I dont think so. A man ever drew his hand back at me, that would be his last mistake ever. I would have him taken care of. call it what you like, but I would kill a man who smacked me around in front of my child. No thanks, not in this lifetime!
2007-09-08 06:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another question to ask is would you stay in a marriage where your children were beat and not you. Those are the ladies that need help too.
2007-09-08 06:25:00 · answer #10 · answered by Lin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋