opinions pls.?

Question

in this corrupt world
everything seems dark
everything hopeless
everything useless

the crimes committed,
the hurt we received,
innocent people sacrificed,
the absence of social justice,

when will all these end?
the fighting-lives lost.
this dark, cruel world we live in
has finally reached its limit.

fire everywhere
bloodshed all over
darkness prevails
slowly but surely.

hopeless it may seem
someone is waiting
eyes closed, fingers crossed
that somewhere in time..

everything will be all right.

Answer 1

Other than the fact your poem drips with angst and loathing, it isn't too bad. It does, however, remind me of a poem where a guy walks up to a man sitting outside a walled city's gates and asks him what sort of people live there. The man replies "what sort of people lived in the city you came from?" and the traveller says, "corrupt, greedy men with no honor." The man says, "we have the same men here", so the traveller moves on. Later, another traveler walks up and has a similar exchange, to which the traveler responds, "good men, honest, hardworking and true", to which the man says, "we have the same men in here." and the traveller enters the city. The point being that the world is what you perceive of it "through your eyes". You see a corrupt world, not a world of incredible opportunities, so you write about darkness. You speak of a cruel world, not a world that gives billions of dollars to charity. However, your style is fine...there are some phonetic hardspots, but overall it's okay. Your first four lines sum up the rest of your poem, but the last stanza and floating line at the end do provide a decent turn and a ray of hope. Only orphaned thought is "slowly but surely"...it doesn't connect with any other line...you might want to fix that one.

...keep writing

Answer 2

love is the answer
my dear you are and everyone are lost
feel your heart
with the energy of love

as soon as you get aquianted with the 'power'
share it to others
propagate the energy
inspire and wake
for it is asleep at everyones heart.

but dont worry my child
not so long
everything will be alrigt
not so long
everything will be gone
back to where they come


therefore, as early as now
without hesitation
do your job
proclaim love and harvest the energy of love.

Answer 3

Holy crap!
That was such a GREAT poem!
I love poems about how life is hard & stuff like that!
Keep writing PLEASE!

Answer 4

wow i love it