Do you Believe in One Man, One Woman for life ???

Question

I think that people do change, and over the time their feelings and life partners might change also. I have no expectations of my partner to keep me for life, and when he says this "one man, one woman" thing I think of it as of a way too strong of a statement. Am I being too nihilistic?

Answer 1

I think you are indeed.
Otherwise, what's the point in getting married? That's what marriage is about. That's why marriage is such a big deal. That's why most men are afraid of it indeed.
I don't disagree with the fact that people change, evolve, and sometimes drift away from each other; But, then when they marry, they are supposed to have considered that, but choose that partner, because, they want to grow old together, and will work at making that partner happy, and their best friend.
Marriage is not just about sex, passion, excitement and all other frivolities; When you get married, you see the beginning, and the end which is to grow old together.
It does require complete commitment, compromise, and love of course.
Now, there are deal breakers, because, at the end of the day, we are only human, not super human, and there's only so much one can take.
But, just as considering how big a deal marriage is, it is as important to consider all options to save that marriage, before declaring it past saving.
Also, divorce doens't necessarily delete the feelings you have for someone. You may divorce because you have to, because it was the only sensible thing to do, it doesn't mean that your memory gets deleted.

Answer 2

If You have no expectations to keep your partner for life, then I hope you are not married because marriage is a life commitment, not something you do just because you are in love or want to sleep together. As long as you are both okay with this arrangement, fine. I do not see this way of thinking as nihilistic (had to look that up, hehe). After all, our founding fathers say that the law was made to protect the minority, not to confirm the majority. I just hope that if you have these views, then you should not be marrying anyone and they should definitely know that you have this view.
Personally, I believe in one man, one woman for life. I believe feelings can change and other things can change, but a commitment you make for life should be much stronger than how you feel about your partner at a particular moment, whether you still feel romantic toward that person, or whether your husband grows a pot belly or stops satisfying in bed. I do not believe every person is fit and able to be with one person for the rest of his or her life, in which case they should not marry, because the point of marriage is for life. But those who can accept a commitment for life should accept it, in accordance with God's will. God bless.

Answer 3

This is how I feel.

You should date for years and sleep with each other perhaps even live with each other before getting married. Do not get married for kids or other things.

Only get married once you understand your going to be together. Your relationship will not magically improve once your married maybe for the first few years. So run a 2-10 year test marriage before accually getting married. If you follow theses not so simple steps then your marriage might last or you might not ever get married but either way that sounds better then screwing up half your life for nothing.

And finally yes I do think that marriage means 1 man one girl for ever. But devoices do exist for a reason.

Answer 4

I quite agree with you. Back in the days when life expectancy was a lot less than it is now, one could argue for a lifetime commitment. But nowadays, that is pointless; as you have correctly noted, people and their needs do change over time, and a relationship that worked when one was young may no longer work when one is older.

Answer 5

Ur probably younger than me..
and today's world has changed tremulously..
but that is what is wrong with our world today..
young people do not make a real effort to stay together or work things out.. they cheat without giving it a second thought..

it needs to cost as much to get married as it does to get a divorce,, and couples would really think hard about what they are doing and be committed for life..

my parents were married 62 years..
didn't mean to get on a soap box.. but this world is screwed up and I feel sorry for young people of today.

things get rough.. they head for the court house to get a divorce..

Answer 6

No. Oh Goshness, no way.

People get old. Boring. Sexless.

Used to the same routines, the same life, the same job, the same everything instead of living their life to its full potential.

On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Drink too much. Laugh too hard.
Play out everything to its full potential.
Because in the end,
We're all gonna die.

Besides, if you're having doubts, he isn't the one for you.
Period.

Best wishes,
Alia<3

Answer 7

Actually, I do strongly believe in one man, one woman for life!

As the philosophy of nihilism holds that all values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated, my upbringing and what I have witness contradicts all that is nihilistic.

Your partner and everyone that holds faith with me, realizes, that, yes change is inevitable, however, that in itself would not could not negate the historical correlation one man one woman established.

Answer 8

That's the way it should be; but not always the way things work out. People change over time for the better or worse. Who is to say the way it will go. I'll keep my freedom.

Answer 9

I share your partners view. I am happy with my husband, desire no one else, and he says the same. I think everyone is unique, and some people take issue with seeing the same face every day until they die. That thought makes me feel wonderful, there is not another person I could imagine making me happy as my husband does. I am comforted in the fact that we know each other fully and we have grown together and we share everything....we look forward to growing old together.

Answer 10

a BIG YES to you. you are being too nihilistic. Have faith. that's the single most important thing in a relationship. Agreed that over time relationships do tend to get sour but they do get back on track again.

For questions about your problems in your relationships, advice or just plain "steam let-off". The 'Doc as he calls himself in this website (blog rather) claims he can give sincere advice. the link is given below. He calls himself the relationship doctor. You can also email him your queries I guess.

I think its worth a look-see. Won't do no harm.
Cheers!!