2) questions-Why do some folks with a spouse and children feel that just because?

Question

they have children and a spouse that someone who is single and childless does not have any "responsabilities"?

I hear this all the time I am often told " oh you are so luckey,wait untill you get married and have children".

First off don't assume I am getting married and want children and Second- it's not luck that I am not married and childless,it was my choice.


Do they think marriage and children are end all be all? because I don't.

Answer 1

I hear ya!
It seems like more and more people I know are getting married. They all say things like, "You'll find someone special one day and you'll know it's right!" and tell me I'll change my mind about having children.
Spouses and kids are personal choices; we aren't all cut out for that, and people shouldn't assume everybody wants the same thing they want.
I'm not interested in relationships or having miniature people squeezed out of my insides. There's way more to life than getting bogged down in childcare and marriage.

Answer 2

my perspective if you will:
when I was single I
1) had 3 jobs
2) went to college full-time
3) maintained a good GPA
4) paid my own rent, car, insurance, phone, etc..bills
5) could travel whenever I wanted to as long as I took the time off work
6) lived in an expensive part of US
7) bought the things I wanted when I wanted them including $3 cups of coffee from Starbucks

now that I'm married with a child I
1) have a job which I work 40-50 hrs. per week
2) make sure the house is clean
3) watch my son during the day while trying to fit in sleep since I work nights, and keep him clean, happy, and fed
4) still do extra curricular activities such as volunteering and re-finishing furniture
5) take care of our finances
6) take care of my husband's needs when he's tired from his day at work
7) oh yeah...shower sometimes

you tell me. Either way, married with children is not a life that everyone can lead and that's perfectly fine. Plus, my single friends are a nice break once or twice a year when I have time to see them bc/ I get to live in their world for a couple of hours. Finally, the rewards of the extra work are wonderful bc/ I've got a family that in turn takes care of me when the burden gets a little too much to bear.

Answer 3

Don't read what they say but in between and even behind the lines. Deep down and some where in their hearts they envy singles and their more carefree life.Having been married for some time and the euphoria of marriage having been worn out,they now try to pose as wiser and seriously engaged in a kind of very very responsible position(for just being married and having kids-no big deal ).Yes,if they think that marriage and kids are end all be all,they are RIGHT.For some,it can be a dead-end after all in many ways if not 'be all'.

Answer 4

I agree with you. It seems like many people pressure others to get married and have children. I wonder if they ever considered not getting married or not having children. It seems like our language from the time you are young is geared toward this as a goal.
People always say, "When you grow up and are married." or " Just wait until you have children." Our language toward children is such that it takes away the thought of choice.

Answer 5

I never married, I have a child though, ONLY because my ex wanted me to get an abortion. So I decided to keep my son. I was in a common law relationship for 10 years split almost 4 years ago. My son is 5. I love being a single parent. More challenges for me to bear, but I like a challenge. It would feel very strange if a man comes in my life that is decent and that would want to be around myself and my kid.

Answer 6

I get that too. Or people that are married with child act like they are better than you or that their problems are bigger than yours because they have children. It's like hey wait a second I have problems and a family as well.