For men cheating, how do you cope with the guilt, I need more answers for a study I am conducting?

Question

Your wife is there, she loves you and trusts you, she believes all your excuses from being late from work or traffic. What do you do to overcome the gulit. Are you still able to look her into the eyes and say you love her. Do you ever feel like confessing?
How do you deal with it? Do you try to blame her for not being how you want her to be to help you deal with the guilt? Do you try to be nicer than usual to mislead her? What are your coping tecnques and have you ever gone close yo confessing..

Answer 1

i can only tell u how my ex acted when he was cheating, he began by buying me gifts than after a time he began picking fights, doing disrespectful things to me hoping i would leave, than after he admitted he had another love he blamed me for all the problems in the marriage. he coped by taking it all out on me, picking fights, finding fault, because he didn't want to be with me thinking i would just pack up and leave. he could not look me in the eyes because he knew what he had done, he couldn't even tell me face to face he cheated, he was such a coward he had to do it over the phone. he dealt with the guilt by finding fault with me, my weight, everything about me really disgusted him. he overcame his guilt by leaving and living with her so he could avoid it.

Answer 2

Very interesting study, I like the above justification " men can separate love and sex " it makes very clear how coping is used to make cheating almost a "biological issue". The thing I cannot understand is why marry in this mentality? Why do these people that are afraid of staying committed just stay free, why bother? Do you know what I mean? Or if they really want to marry make it clear from start your disposition. Take responsability of your actions. You cannot have the cake and eat it too! By the way women have shown to be also capable of separating love and sex, nothing to brag about..

Answer 3

I'm not a man, but can tell you what mine did.
They make the home situation bad to justify what they do. They will yell at the kids, complain about the mess (that they made, but refuse to clean up), whine about money, even though more gets spent on their wants (smokes, alcohol, going out) than the others needs. Ignore the wife and when she doesn't feel amorous - because he's spent the whole evening running her down - blame her for the lack of intimacy.
When they get caught, it will be all her fault - she didn't meet his needs (even though he never talked to her about them), so its her job to make it all better.
They will tell themselves it wasn't really cheating, because they weren't really "together" with their partners at the time, even though they expected their partners to remember their "marital responsibilities" the whole time.
But that's just one man's response to his cheating. But from others I've talked to its pretty common.

Answer 4

I have cheated in the past. The woman I cheated with has been my wife for many years now.
The justification you use is the problems within the relationship that your partner chooses not to address.
You do try and be nicer, as far as that is possible within the parameters of your relationship problems, not to mislead, but to assay your guilt. Also, you tend to make sure your sexual homework is done as well, as much as that is possible when you're serving two women. This tends to work in your favour somewhat as there's definitely no chance of premature ejaculation in those circumstances. lol
You're doing a survey on 'men's cheating'. Remember there's usually another woman involved. Takes two to tango.
Looking at your questions, you seem to be a bit obsessed with this subject.

Answer 5

I determine that those that cheat (no longer in effortless terms adult males) rationalize it away long in the previous they actually commit the act. So there is probable no longer very lots guilt while they have finished it, because of the fact they (of their suggestions a minimum of) have a "valid" rationalization for stepping out on their companion. (look on the guy who published approximately his PA and his spouse probable the pool guy, gardener, $$, etc... He rationalizes the rationalization for doing so in the previous he cheats) the only time i think of they experience guilt is that if its a spur of the 2d, non deliberate, one night stand. Then its rationalized away by ability of exclaiming "it replaced right into a one time deal - it won't ensue lower back - what happens in Vegas, remains in Vegas - etc..." you're surprisingly naive in case you surely think of that those that cheat placed a good number of concept into their companion's emotions or experience guilt or remorseful approximately for their movements. you're much extra naive in case you think of absolutely everyone ever fesses up without being caught and confronted. Why the heck could absolutely everyone placed themselves and their companion by means of that form of HELL in the event that they do no longer ought to? One could ought to be quite merciless and masochistic to opt to rat themselves out and cope with the fallout.

Answer 6

Well your study has some very strong opinions so it is not a very neutral sounding one. Lots of value judgments and very obvious agenda in your question.
Anyway; men can separate love and sex so loving a wife and yet having girlfriends is not an issue. I never feel guilty and I have been married for almost twenty years. I take care of my home but have a natural desire to have other women sexually. It is nature.

Answer 7

what do you define as cheating. looking at a great girl in the pub?
having sex with a pro?
talking to your female work mate about your home life?
what you do not even know what is in a womens mind at any time of the day!

Answer 8

i just got cheated on. about an hour before i caught him... he looked me dead in the eye, kissed me, and said 'baby, you can trust me. i deserve to be trusted. i'll never do that to you'. when he realized he was caught, he blamed it on the fact that i couldn't trust him. anyway, i'd really like to be kept updated on your study.