my sister just passed away at 57 ... please,,how is the proper way ?

Question

to cope with a loss like this....do you sit and constantly think of her out of respect,,but feel so terrible ??? or do you try to keep occupied to heep your mind off of her ,,which to me seems kind of like a lack of respect ???? your comments greatly appreciated at this time ????? her name was,,,is,,,,,,beverley. thankyou ??

Answer 1

i am so sorry for your loss!
i have never lost a sibling .. i have lost friends who are close to me & most recently a friend who i knew for over 10 yrs.. a week ago.. when i can't handle thinking about her being gone, i do try to keep my mind occupied, just because when i do, i can't function properly, tears, mood, etc.. and when i am at work i just can't be crying..
all i can say is what i do & that is letting myself feel what i feel, when i can be comfortable, to let those emotions flow.. all i try to do is cope the best i can
rest in peace Beverly and God Bless you and your loved ones .. *hugs* shyllow

Answer 2

Mourning is a very personal thing. Whatever helps you get through this time is the proper way. It's hard to cope with loss and it's understandable to feel such grief and not know what to do or act. Focus on getting past these first few days, and when things settle down, honor your sister's memory the best way possible that works for you. Sorry for your loss.

Answer 3

There is no proper way for you to mourn your sister . Do whatever feels right to you . If you feel that sitting quietly and thinking of her , and things from the past is best then do that. Some people have a gathering where they remember and celebrate the persons life. You will think of her in the future , its perfectly normal. Just dont get so sad that it spoils your enjoyment of life . She wouldnt want that for you .
57 seems fairly young , that makes it harder than if she died at an old age in her sleep.
my condolances on your loss.

Answer 4

First off, please accept my deepest sympathy. I am sorry for your loss.



You do what you are comfortable with.

If you have hours of thoughts of her, that is fine.

If you have hours of thinking of other things that is fine too.

Being obsessed in what is not showing respect.

Your sister, I am sure, would want you to be balanced.

If you have a child that needs to get to school, or fed, or anything like that, then thinking about those things is not showing disrespect.

You will think about your sis a lot more, that is natural. But you have to shower, you have to eat, you have to get from point A to point B, those all take thought process. And thus your sister will take the back burner for a few minutes.

There will be a part of you that is in deep sadness for a while, then you may go through anger, then other emotions. But in the meantime, life goes on and you have to survive, and to do that, your mind will have to be on other things.

Answer 5

My heartfelt sympathies to you and your family.
There is no right or wrong way to cope. It is one of the
hardest things in the world to lose a loved one and my
heart really does go out to you. All you can do is take
this one day at a time. I lost a loved one to a heart attack
when he was only 42, and I also felt that I needed to keep myself occupied, it's not a lack of respect, it was my way
to deal with it. It didn't mean that I loved him any less.
God Bless.
Luv and Hugs,
Fran

Answer 6

You have my prayers and thoughts. I can't imagine losing my younger sister and I lost my older one when I was too young to really understand the loss. I think you need to do what seems best for you. Cry if you need to but don't obsess on her loss. Beverely wouldn't want that for you. She would want you to keep on living. Mourn for her but go on living. If she has children, then see the gift she's passed on to you in them. Plant a tree at a historical or a museum site in her honour if you'd like. The tree will go on growing and giving back to the world in her name; or perhaps you'd like to donate to another worthy cause.
I almost lost my younger sister to ovarian cancer and because she is a survivor, I make hats for those who are still going through the process. I never put a tag on them even though the project says we have to. I do it for her because I love her.
(((((Hugs)))))) to you and profound love.

Answer 7

There is no easy answer because everyone handles grief differently. I remember when my Mom passed away, people in my house would still talk, share a story about her, laugh and I remember how angry I got, I remember thinking how can you laugh at a time like this because my mom is gone. As I've gotten older and hopefully a little wiser, I think would this person want us to be sad and for our life to stop? The answer is usually no. Think about her, respect her memory, and as hard as it is to believe the pain will ease as time goes by. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good Luck

Answer 8

Oh shyllow I'm so sorry to hear that. Each person copes in their own way though. Just remember all the good times you had together and that she'll always be with you no matter what.

Answer 9

Take some time to grieve but don't let it take over you because there's a life to live and she would want you to make the most of it....She is gone and your respect is only apparent to the people that are still here with you.. I myself think you should throw a party on her behalf because death to those who believe is a celebration that the living should envy...

Answer 10

Do you best to respectfully remember the good times you shared....the secrets....the good stuff. Not how she may have suffered. You could do your best to Celebrate her Life that she had instead of mourning her death at all times. I did that with my Mother........I rejoiced in her achievements in life, the hardships she made it through and what a wonderful human being she was and always will be to me. She wouldn't want you in any more pain than you wanted her in. She is in a better place.....just not by your side. So sorry for your loss....right now think of one shining moment in her life. ellie