scared to death.....?

Question

so im 16 and my bf is almost 18. weve had sex im regreting it now but i know that its to late now.
but weve done it unprotected quit a few times now and ive missed my period this month. im extremly scared. he asked if i was would i keep it. i told him yes because i dont beleive in abortion. i asked him what his decision would be. he told me that it has nothing to do with him thtas all the mothers decision. if i am i couldnt tell my parents, im mormon and they beleive in waiting til marriage, idk how they would react. im so scared though. if i am idk what im going to do. i told him no more unprotected though(possibly im just going to stop it all together) what should i do?? please help. theres not really an adult i can talk to about this.

Answer 1

You need to take a pregnancy test to find out for sure if you are pregnant or not. If you are pregnant, I would encourage you to think seriously about puting the child up for adoption.

I say this because at 16 y/o, it will be hard to finish school and get a good job, while taking care of the baby. If your parents will help you, it might be possible to keep the baby. Other girls have done this and done OK. Remember, the decision that you have to make is, what is best for the baby?

If your b/f doesn't care whether you keep the baby or not and says, "it is totally up to you.", then don't expect any help from him in raising the baby. He might help, but he seems too emotionally immature to be counted on.

I would certainly think long and hard before I would marry him as someone suggested. Just because he is the baby's father (if you are pregnant), doesn't mean he would be a good husband and I think that 16 y/o is too young to get married anyway (especially to someone who is emotionally immature).

In the future, not only do not have unprotected sex, but do not look at condoms as "protection". They are only 86% effective at preventing pregnancies or STD's. That means that 14% of the time, if you are fertile, you will get pregnant and if the other person has an STD (like HIV), you will catch it. To catch HIV is to die, dead as a door nail, always. That doesn't sound like "protection" to me.

Some say that bc pills or the patch is 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. That's not true. If the girl/woman does not take the pill every day, you don't know if they will be effective that month. Also, if you are taking an antibiotic at the same time as bc pills, they can make the bc pills 0% effective.

The most effective type of "protection" is to take bc pills or use a diaphragm with spermacidal jelly, and to use a condom, every time. That's what my wife and I did when we did not want her to get pregnant.

I hope that you missed your period for some other reason than that you are pregnant. If you are pregnant, than you have my best wishes and my prayers. God bless you. God loves you very much and always will. I love you too. You are welcome to e-mail me any time if you think that I could be helpful.

Answer 2

Well as noble as that sounds now the no more unprotected sex and stopping altogether it sounds as if you might just be a little to late on that one. Not trying to sound crass or anything but thats putting the cart before the horse don't you think. Anyway, what you need to do now is first stop having unprotected sex period. Second find out if you are pregnant, get a pregnancy test from your doctor the drugstore whatever, third if you are then you will have to tell your parents. I know they are against premarital sex however, whats done is done and you will need their help and guidance through this. I would think like you they also don't believe in abortion. However they might want you to give the baby up for adoption or get married. Just some things for you to consider. If what your parents want end up being too much for you there are usually some community services that will assist you and help during such times. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

OK, first of all, your BF is no prince. Telling you it's your decision and hanging you out to twist in the wind, real stand-up guy there, NOT, and he needs to know that.
Ooooo, I would just spank him, the big chicken.
You are old enough to get married, did you know that? That's a possibility, that is, if you still want the big dweeb. It would solve a few problems, like where to live, is the baby going to have a father figure, help with support and expenses, and his commitment issues. If you are pregnant, well, it's not exactly something you can keep a secret is it? Sooner or later somebody in your family is going to think, hmmm, where did that baby come from?
Yeah, the "telling them" scene just is not going to be any fun at all, but I just don't see any real choice that won't keep you miserable and afraid for the rest of your life. So, stand up on your hind feet, march in there and give them the news. Then duck. First, though, get that pregnancy test from the store.
Oh, by the way, you are not going to hell. I mean it. No hell for you.

Answer 4

I dont understand why teens my age are always having unprotected sex how many people like you are there going to be before we realize we could become pregnant or get STD'S i just dont get it. I mean I have hormones to but do I have sex NO!!!! ok anyway, for you I would tell your parents mormon or not they can offer you help and they love you and should be there for you, if there not then go to a support group, they'll come around eventually. I think its great your going to keep the baby and the dad sounds like a great person, Hope all goes well, and dont feel to guilty there isnt anything you can do now!!!

Answer 5

First you should calm down!! OK baby, If you are it is not the end of the world it is actually the start of one!! First things first you should not be having unprotected sex AT ALL!! But hopefully you will learn from you mistakes. If you are you need to sit you parents down and tell them! Tell them you made a mistake, it happens you want to take full responsibility it, weather you decide to become a mom or give some other women out there the chance to become a mom. Believe me you parents are not going to kill you or disown you. If you are not preg, then you really need to take this situation and learn from it. From a person that had sex way to young I think you are not prepared to handle the ramifications of sex and what that brings and you need to think about this every time you decide to have sex. and girl get on some birth control asap!!! Sorry for any bad spelling or grammar.

Answer 6

You will get help if you go to LDS Adotion Service. They are supposed to help you learn all options without condenming you. Your Bishop help you first, then tell you why and how to inform your parents about it. I am sure that abortion is not an option because is murderer. You would never forgive yourself after done. Pray for the needed courage to confess what happened and follow all the steps that means you want to be forgiven and move on with your life. There is a way to have peace again, if the price of true repeng ftance is paid. I' ll be praying for you. It is not late to do what is right. Work at it, please.

Answer 7

I am not sure where you are, but you are right to be concerned. Rather than an abortion, go to a pregnancy resource centre and get help. Talk to someone at the Salvation Army about getting the help you need. Bethany Homes are a place you can get help and talk to someone. There is also a kid's help phone and its number changes depending on where you are. Another place you can get help is 1-800-A-FAMILY.
Best wishes with what is coming your way in the future.

Answer 8

just go ahead and tell your parents if you are pregnant because the people that hide their pregnancy are general the ones who end up leaving their baby in weird places like the trashcan, and you do not want to do through that because you would probaly get arrested and who wants to go through a pregancy alone. So just trust that your parents will understand what you are going through even though they mad be upset at first you all will get through this together and years from now you will realize that telling your parents was the best decision that you could make.

Answer 9

you need to have him go buy you a test first off than go from there. you need to talk to your parents you cant possibly hide it from them forever. there are allot of options out there besides abortion. you can keep the baby, have your mother raise him or her, or put the baby up for adoption. adoption would be your best option you could go live with a relative until the baby is born. but that is a decision only you can make and it is a very hard one. but like i said first step is take a pregnancy test and if you aren't please go get on the pill. you can go to the health department and they will give it to you most likely for free and will not tell your parents. good luck

Answer 10

Well, you will have to tell them at one point because it will be too difficult to hide. Even if your pregnancy test is positive or not, im sure your parents will love you and the child no matter what. At first they will probably be mad, but after a couple weeks they will help you think of names go with you to your appointments and be excited.
Personally i think giving up the baby is unfair because the poor kid shouldnt grow up not knowing his/her parents and having a troubled life because you made a mistake. Just like you, i think keeping the baby is a good idea.
Your BF sounds like hes taking responsibility for this baby because it is his. He will most likely help you. If for some reason he doesnt help you raise this child- assuming you dont have a bad family life- im sure your family will help you every step of the way.

GOOD LUCK