Can he take custody? We aren't Married! Im leaving the state hes a jerk.?

Question

I have a situation here, I have 2 small children with my x fiance - he has kept us homeless for almost a year now. we lived with my parents for 6 months and then his parents for the past 2 months - he works but is paid under the table.. No taxes, no detection - he owes about 17k in back child support for his two grown boys - the IRS wants to talk to him -he denied our first child being his and pushed for DNA testing..shes his - he never signed the birth certificate - he never signed the birth certificate for our son- he's a jerk to me, calls me names, puts me down, says im a bad parent-yes all in front of the kids-His mom asked me and the kids to leave for a few days because the 2 year old fell off the toilet and bumped his lip (it bled) so now im an irresponsible, neglectfull parent. the kids cry to much (getting a cold) she wanted us gone. Now he expects me back monday -I said NO and now he said that if I dont come back with the children monday he will start a motion for custody.

First - thank you to all the responces it helps.. the big question is why? why am i still here its all money.. I know im stupid for letting myself get in this situation, my older kids cant beleve this is happening they are 21 and 19 and on their own now.. good kids I did well with them and alone, so I know I can do it.. but I never had someone fight like this before.. he is in total love with his kids.. hes the best dad I have ever seen with these babies, but they need someone to provide for them, not be their buddy.. im 44 he's 45 you would think someone would have grown up by now.
in addition to my case I have had him arrested twice, once 4 weeks before I delivered and once 5 weeks after the birth of our daughter both cases show as disorderly conduct. I know, I know, why did we have the second child? Im still exploring why. I dont know, but hes a beautifull little guy. Dad is a great dad and I am willing to work something out but he and his family are pushing all the wrong buttons.

Answer 1

If I were you I'd tell him to f*ck off! My child would come before anything like that. You and your children should stay out of that relationship! Do you have a close friend or family memeber that would let you stay with them for a few months till you can get out on your own? If so then stay with them. He will not fight for the children b-cuz he hasnt paid his dues to his others and he never signed your child birthcertificate! DO NOT GO BACK! It will not be any better then before you left!!!!!!!!!!!! If he didnt sign...then a court could NOT give them to him.

Answer 2

My best Friend left the state with the agreement from her ex-fiance that it was OK for her to take their kid. 3 months later she went to pick up her son from school and her child had already been picked up by CPS! They flew him back to his dad the next day. It turned out that her ex lied and said she just took off with their child out of state, which is kidnapping even though they were not married. He also made up a lie that she was abusive, which is probably why CPS got involved.

She had a lot of dirt on him too, which came up after months of court hearings. She did end up getting full custody, but it took like almost a year of just "visitation" of her son and thousands of dollars in legal fees.

My suggestion to you is that you go to a battered women's shelter to start and file for custody first. This will be in your favor. Then request permission from the court before you leave state(this is what my friends lawyer told her what she should have done in the first place to prevent the incident). He can lie all he wants about you, but if you have filed everything you needed to and he hasn't, they are more likely to be on your side.

Answer 3

With all the legal troubles he is facing, I doubt he will take any motion exept for putting one foot in front of the other to run. You need to immediately cease all contact with him. Honestly, I doubt you'll hear from him. And if you do, it won't be for long once the courts get him in the system and start adding up all the charges against him for unpaid child support, back taxes, etc. He is trying to assert control over you. If you can't stand up for yourself, stand up for your kids. Children learn what they live. Don't make them live a life like this. There isn't a court in the land that would give him anything but an old baloney sandwich 3 times a day for awhile behind bars. You need to contact an attorney. And please, for yourself, get some counseling. You are making really bad decisons where relationships are concerned. There is not a man sucking air that will ever exert any kind of control over my kids. I birthed them. They are mine. As mothers, we are entrusted with our childrens lives, their wellbeing, and their souls until they are of age to do so for themselves. Don't drop the ball on this one. Tell him to get himself an attorney. He's going to need one.

Answer 4

Let him take you to court think about it, as far as he the court knows he has no job owe back child support for his other children and isn't even on your kids birth certificates. I really doubt that he will take you to court just because the IRS is looking for you and if he pushes to much let the IRS know where he is. Good luck I wish you the best.

Answer 5

He has every right to sue for custody and keep you in the state. He is their father.

Paternity is already established for the daughter, he can easily take you to court and start proceedings prohibiting you from going anywhere as soon as tomorrow & get joint custody. How he treats you won't be an issue to the court.

What I don't get, and this is me personally speaking, is if things were that miserable, why did you have a 2nd child?

Answer 6

ur story is very sad.. and i hope u stay strong...........!

to ans ur question..
it is not very likely.. but there is a possibility..
why o why did u stay as long as u did??? do not go back... u have done the hard part.. and that was leaving...

moving on..
tell him.. to leave u along, he has enough problems with the IRS, and he need not make any more problems for himself..
if u love ur children.. then go to a safe haven and stay there..even if u have to move out of state.. don't call him and don't see him or talk to him.. just move forward with ur life.. u have wasted enough time on this guy.. make him file against u.. if that is what he wants.. get a restraining order against him..
did u ever get a DNA test?
just go.. you can not make him love u.. or treat u with respect.. that is up to him.. u need to find a job and love ur children, give them a good home and safety.. they will be proud of u for doing it.. when they get older..
don't get weak and back down.. u can do this.. u need to do this... good luck...

Answer 7

You picked him. You might have to share custody with him. Do no go back with him. You'll be much better off alone. Focus on taking care of your kids. They need you. Watch those accidents, they may come back to haunt you if he does take you to court. Save everything. If he e-mails you, or leaves nasty messages, save them. You will need proof. I really wish you the best. It's amazing to me how some men don't even bother to spend time with their kids but as soon as the marriage is over, they want custody because they don't want to pay child support. Unbelievable!

Answer 8

first off, he is abusive. Second, go to court and get full custody of your children yourself. because he is not legally working and his mother has kicked you out, try to go to a shelter for women or battered women. They can help you. If he threatens you again call the police. He can try to get custody, but I doubt he will get it because there is no proof of a job. get prepared and know the laws on custody and child support.

by the way, how old are you?

good luck and I'll keep you in my prayers

Answer 9

regrettably, it relies upon on what state you reside in. in case you purely up and disappear, he are in a position to call the law enforcement officers on you for kidnapping (your guy or woman newborn, i understand...). for sure, along with his drug use, it could't be too stressful which you will get out of there, yet PLEASE bypass to court docket and get a restraining order/custody order so as which you will get the HELL out of there devoid of concerns! in case you sense there's a danger on your life, a minimum of record a police checklist or some thing so as that as quickly as you get to court docket, you have documents to coach that this improve right into a detrimental undertaking. Make a pit give up on the police station on a thank you to AZ, and ask them approximately it. And besides, if he already left you adult males, i do no longer see any undertaking with it. grab your stuff, grab your daughters, and GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

Answer 10

I am sorry for your situation, but if he proves he is the biological father, yes he can, IF he can prove to be a better fit parent than you.

It's gonna get nasty, prepare yourself.

I will keep u in my thoughts and prayers.