My husband is STILL giving me the silent treatment over my going to dinner with another man while he was out of town but I don't understand it at all. I wish he would just get over it since nothing happened and it was just a casual dinner. It's getting to be really childish! Just this morning he left me a note saying he had to go out of town again on Monday and to pack his bags, instead of just telling me this! He has also resorted to writing notes about other little things too like about what he what's for dinner and to take his clothes to the dry cleaners! It's getting really annoying now! Does anyone think this is childish?
2007-09-07 17:55:56 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would just tell him that until he can talk to you like an adult that won't do anything that he ask of you in his letters after all you aren't his maid your his wife and if he has issues with the fact that you went out to dinner with another man he should talk to you and not just write you letters for things he wants you to do for him. Good luck
2007-09-07 18:32:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Passive aggressive but not childish. Maybe you should think about his feelings though. You know that it was a casual dinner. All he knows for sure is that this dinner took place while he was out of town. Still having trouble understanding? He has a lot of doubts about you right now. He is wondering if you cheated on him. He is wondering if you really love him. He is trying to tell you he is hurt.
2007-09-07 18:23:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you going out to dinner casual or not with other men while your husbands out of town. Unless it would involve work or something I can see why he is so pissed. Sorry to be harsh but the silent treatment is probably better than what some guys would do. Anyway, did you apologize? He is probably thinking you just might do it again while he has to leave for work this time. You have betrayed his trust. Trust is earned and not given now it is broken. It will take time for you to fix this one. Communicate with him and own up to your mistake and don't trivialize it. Obviously he thinks its a big deal even if you don't and if you truly love him that should matter to you. Good luck to both of you.
2007-09-07 18:06:27 · answer #3 · answered by Darkchild 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
How did your husband find out about this 'casual' dinner?
Your best bet is to arrange relationship counselling to work through this. You are totally oblivious and insensitive to the fact you went out to dinner with another man while your husband was away. Your husband is so angry he can not find the words to talk to you about it, so he writes notes to see if you are still going to look after him as you did before this episode.
I am reading that you consider this as no big deal, move on pick up where we left off as though nothing has happened. And that is okay for you. It is not for your husband.
One casual dinner has changed your relationship with your husband forever and it will be his choice as to how he comes to terms with it not yours.
Patience should be your middle name with regards to your husband now.
Best of Luck
2007-09-07 18:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is his way of avoiding a huge argument, and saying something he shouldn't because he is so hurt and angry...
what you did, going out with another man while he was out of town, in his mind, can be a form of cheating. Think about the questions on here that you see about people who feel betrayed because their significant other is talking to someone online. It is emotional cheating. Dinners and intimate conversations (not meaning sexual but rather private) when you are married are meant for your partner, not for other people.
You may not have done anything with the guy but he had to find out after the fact. C'mon....what is there not to understand?
You might be "annoyed" but his actions are telling you he is seriously hurt by what you did. Time for you to eat a little crow and write HIM a note, telling him how much you love him and how sorry you are for hurting him & if you are still in contact with this guy you went out with, cut off all contact.
2007-09-07 18:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi - while women supply adult males the 'silent scientific care', this is far worse than any shouting tournament. while adult males shout, this is undesirable for the female to be on the pointy end of that. Shouting in a male is SO on the fringe of having actual; it ought to be risky for the female. i could choose the silent scientific care each and every time. i could flow silent too, so shall we the two be Mr and Mrs Silent from Silentville, till finally one persons has the nads to make touch lower back. sturdy success.
2016-12-16 14:29:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, you were pretty childish to go out to dinner with another man while your husband was out of town. So what if nothing happened, he feels betrayed. Nothing has to happen to make it inappropriate. You were thoughtless when you did that. He's hurt, and your too childish to know the difference.
Shame on you!
2007-09-07 18:06:35 · answer #7 · answered by ellen 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
How come it is exactly that you can write on the net being in full body cast. Sure he showed you exactly why you suck. What a horrible horrible thing to do. Are you 5? If you don't know how bad it feels to have your spouse out to dinner with another than maybe you should consider doing yourself in. I pray you dont have kids. Deliberately hurting someone like that secures you a tosty place in hell. I hate you. Oh yeah. Yes you are being childish. The longer hes quiet the more it will build. youll get tired of it then youll give him a real reason to be mad and then POW! YOUR DEAD. wELCOME TO A LONG MISERABLE LIFE HO BAG
2007-09-07 18:52:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Remaining silent for a short period of time, to avoid saying something one might regret later, is understandable, but more than a day or two is carrying it too far. By that time the "injured party" should have gathered themselves enough emotionally to maturely air their grievances.
Did you already apologize for going out with the other man? I understand that it was nothing more than an innocent dinner, and I am sure you explained that to your husband already, but have you apologized to him once you realized it hurt him? If you haven't, then please do so. That may be what he is waiting for.
If you have already apologized, then he is most definitely acting immaturely. It's time for him to "man up" and get over it. If he can't seem to get over it, and refuses to hold an adult conversation about his feelings, and carry on with life, then perhaps he needs to be treated like the child he is immitating. When my son was two, and didn't want to speak up for what he wanted, but instead expected me to understand his grunts, or let his big sister speak for him, I told him he would get nothing until he said it himself. Maybe this might work on your childish husband. Tell him if he can't say what he wants out loud, then he gets nothing.
2007-09-07 18:18:37 · answer #9 · answered by missmuffin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's very childish.
I also think it's childish that you pack his clothes for him.
Your husband acts more like my little cousin. He's 9.
You show a degree of maturity. For example, you realize that you can have contact with a male without sexually wanting him (thus your casual dinner). So what are you doing with someone so much less mature than you are?
2007-09-07 18:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋