I've been dating this guy on and off for over a year. I love him so much! He's nice, funny, thoughtful and when I'm with him it seems like everything in the world is perfect.
He's 21 and has been out of high school for over 3 years. He's been fired from 2 jobs in the 6 months. He has no plans, is undecided about a career, lives at home, doesn't really plan on going to college and can't find a real job.
I want to be with him so bad but I'm pretty sure that will me an I'd be taking care of him and making more money than him or even worst be t he only working adult in the household.
So I'm not sure if it's worth the risk or if I should try and find someone who wants the same things I do. I just graduated and I start college in the spring. I'm going to get a Master's degree. I plan on owning my own home, car, and starting college funds for my children before they're even born. I don't want to struggle through life like my parents did.
2007-09-07 17:52:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This question is not REALLY about love or money... you just think it is. The real question is: can you be happy with someone who doesn't share your values.
Can you? He doesn't value education, independence, stability or career. You obviously value all those things. When you have a child, will be be a good role model? No. Will he do an equal share taking care of your child? Probably not.
I am sure that this will be very hard for you because you love him, but you are too smart and will be successful. You don't want to be tied down to a guy who can't get his life together. Leave him, move on. You will find someone who is better for you, I promise.
2007-09-14 06:31:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to school you need to focus on that. This guy may not be a loser; he may have just not found his footing yet, but until he does you don't need to play mama on top of everything else you have to worry about.
School should be your top priority right now. You have great plans and you should pursue them, but this guy does not sound like the kind of guy who is capable of supporting your dreams and plans. You are right; you will probably wind up taking care of him.
You've already seen the future with this man and it is not compatible with your plans. I think you already know the answer to your question.
2007-09-13 00:48:45 · answer #2 · answered by JD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is find someone else you have more in common with. It sounds like you will be only working adult and eventually you Will come to resent him. His job history does not sound good. Stop, take stock in all that you have done, are doing and want to do. You need to find someone with your same interests but that is willing to work for them...as you are; not living off you.
2007-09-14 13:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by JettaDriver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on.
I can't see people being happy with someone who is not near their own education level, have some interests in common, have some amount of drive, and at least live on their own, have their own circle of friends, and have a better answer for you than, "um, I just wanna surf the net all day in mom's basement, but I luv you hon, btw can you loan me $20?"
:)
2007-09-13 18:12:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone to share your dream with, not someone who will bring you down. If he can't keep a job, he's not going to be a great father or role model. He probably won't even change a diaper. He's looking for someone to take care of him, not the other way around.
2007-09-14 01:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by poisonous_tree_frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to marry for mutual love. This funny guy that makes your world feel perfect is not in love with you. Otherwise, he would be working his butt off to earn a degree and hold a job because he would know that that is exactly what makes you happy.
2007-09-08 01:36:09 · answer #6 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are numerous 'really cute, really funny, really thoughtful and really sexy' guys here or there. Would you like to have them as 'kept'? If yes, continue. If no, mind your studies and forget this guy.
When you finish your college or even before, you will be met with another guy better than this bad tempered one ( for which he is being fired).
Don't spoil a nice girl, which you really are.
2007-09-08 01:10:44 · answer #7 · answered by sv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your on the right track...go to college..be independent..buy your house,car,pay your own bills etc...never bring a man into your life that doesnt have anything or better yet thats not even willing to try..he needs to get himself together for him to be able to fully commit to you..you say you love him..but how long does that last soon enough you will get tired of coming home to a dirty house..with him on the couch..not doing $hit while your working your butt off.. think about it..its not worth the trouble..good luck!
2007-09-08 01:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your question for Love or Money? Why can't you have both? Why are you limiting yourself to this loser, lazy 21 year old in your neighborhood? Get out there and find a young, successful, attractive, wonderful man! What are you waiting for?
2007-09-08 17:19:46 · answer #9 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try to find someone who has similar goals as you. Because though you love and like him now. If you were to end up supporting him. With time you will come to dislike and resent his lazy ways.
2007-09-08 06:10:28 · answer #10 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋