For several years now, I've been living a second life. I go to BDSM events throughout the country and usually say that I am going to an Anime convention or something. I've told some of my trusted friends and of course my slave knows. I've even told my sister in case something happened, and I always have my cell phone.
My question is, my folks are opposed to it (from what I've gathered). I hate lying to them, but I think they would force me to see a shrink if I told them because they think it's wrong. Do they have a right to know what I do with my life? Or does the old addage still apply "what they don't know, won't hurt them"?
If you think I should, does anyone have any advice on how to break it to them?
If you think I shouldn't, does anyone have any advice on what I should tell them when I have bruises or the like?
This is a VERY personal issue for me, please help.
2007-09-07 16:37:21 · 18 answers · asked by tech_guy_towt 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
They tend to be very nosy into what I am doing. The protective type.
2007-09-07 16:41:19 · update #1
Oh and I am 24
2007-09-07 16:48:18 · update #2
While reluctance to keep such a huge part of your life a secret from your parents, from the way you expect them to react it is pretty clear that knowing this aspect of your life will cause them nothing but grief. There is no reason to share with them the intimate details of your relationships just as they have no reason to share the intimate details of theirs with you (nor would you want them to). It's not so much a matter of 'keeping a secret' as it is sparing them some upsetting (in their minds) details. Some things are simply better left unsaid. It is fantastic that you have a sister that you were able to confide in! If you decide that you just can not look yourself in the mirror every day without revealing your alternative lifestyle to your parents, talk with your sister about her suggestions as to the best way to handle it and perhaps you can come up with a gentle approach together. There are also many others in the Lifestyle who were in your shoes once. Seek them out next time you attend a munch/play party/convention and ask them for their opinions.
SSC Always
2007-09-07 17:04:42 · answer #1 · answered by hhh.chihuahuas 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmm.
do you want your parents to know?
i mean if your worried about them not being happy with you
its not really any of their business. it is definitely your own personal business, and you are the only one that should know besides the person your with.
lol im sure your parents dont tell you what they do, so there is really no need in them knowing.
plus it will be a conversation that probably wont end well, as long as your over 18 they really dont have to know exactly what your doing. under 18, there are tons of reasons they should know where you are, just so your safe.
i would go with "what they dont know wont hurt them"
about the bruises, take up skateboarding, say you fell trying a new trick lol =] or you could tell the truth lol and play it off as being sarcastic.
one more thing- if your upset about having to lie to them. try to go to these things while doing something else. you could always tell them you where going to the other place. cause you were you just didnt tell them about the bsdm event.
good luck =]
2007-09-07 16:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by surfingtosaturn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what? There are things parents just don't want to know.
We face the issues of our children doing drugs, drinking, commiting felonies, being irresponsible and the like. We shouldn't have to digest the sexual quirks you developed somewhere.
Make you a deal: don't tell us about the bdsm stuff, and we'll keep quiet about our secrets.
2007-09-07 16:44:18 · answer #3 · answered by Stuart 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your parents don't want to know this and nothing is served by telling them. Assuming you're over 18 it's not an issue.
2007-09-07 16:42:49 · answer #4 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are adult, then I wouldn't tell them. They don't tell you everything about their lives.
If you don't see them often, then you can excuse way marks or bruises as a fall or bumped into something. I would just not say anything unless they ask. If you do see them often, not sure about how to handle that.
2007-09-07 16:43:27 · answer #5 · answered by Crunchy Sweet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are under age you should tell them about it. if you are in there house and don't want them to know then move out. Telling them would "kill" them. i am sure they love you very much. why hurt them in this way? nothing better would come of it. if you hate lying to them then you would love them enough to stop if they asked! This is not healthy, i know you enjoy it but something in your past makes you enjoy it. talk it out with a counselor.
2007-09-07 16:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by Teddy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Their are times when telling the truth is really overrated.
This is one of them. Go with the old adage.
2007-09-07 16:41:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um...no one tells their parents what they do sexually. It's not like you'd be coming out or something. It's not your orientation...it's something you get off on.
Nope, you definitely shouldn't tell them. That just makes crazy unsense.
2007-09-07 16:45:04 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, who knows maybe its just another thing the 3 of you have in common :]
2007-09-07 16:41:08 · answer #9 · answered by krazyklwn66 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are over 18, it's none of their business.
2007-09-07 16:39:43 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋