my friend is going threw divorce with her parents and they have been together along time any help
2007-09-07 16:18:23 · 8 answers · asked by Adrienne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is hard on kids I will admit. But you have to weigh out the situation. Is it better for them to stay in a bad situation? Sometimes it is better to divorce and move on even if it means being alone. Kids don't need to be around violence or
argueing all the time because that is what they will learn and then they will be that way when they are grown because this will be what they are taught.
2007-09-07 16:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for a child it can be the worse thing on earth. first they mistakenly blame themselves and fret over what they think they did wrong or if they would have acted differently or if they just would have listened more or cleaned their room more then mom and dad wouldn't b splitting up, but the truth is they didn't do anything and anything they think they should have done more of or better isn't the answer either. be her friend, more than u ever have. b prepared 2 lend ur ear 2 her 24/7 so she can work her way thru it. b understanding. don't let her start hating either parent for leaving, try 2 keep her with an open mind. talk with her but don't talk 2 her, let her talk and don't judge, especially either of her parents.
i won't lie 2 u here, she's gonna go thru her own personal he** here...divorce is hardest on the kids, no matter what anyone says. they r losing a parent weather that parent is still living in the area or not. when u go home u have ur mom and dad there, she won't.
b her friend. be her listening board. b her support.
good luck and GOD bless.
2007-09-07 17:20:15 · answer #2 · answered by junkyarddogfan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like a death in the family, but worse. "cause when a love one dies is still existing that loving feeling. In a divorce, you can't get the fact that the person your parent loves , doesn't love her /him back anymore, sometimes actually feels hate, or walks away from his/ her family. In the children's perspective, all their world falls in a thousand pieces. They are part dad, part mom. To see that the persons you love the most are hurting each other, is very difficult to handle. Strong emotions arise, sometimes the person feels overwhelmed, confused, sad, outraged, depressed. Your friend could act very weird, uncommon to her nature. Sometimes little things can make her at her Witt's end, or just starting cry for apparent no reason. You, as her friend, have to understand that if she reacts rude to you or someone else close to her, is not 'cause she's mean. Is the PAIN, that could make her act like that. Be very patience, supportive, if you can't give her more support, help her to get some counseling. I really wish no one in the world, specially children would have to go trough that kind of pain.
2007-09-07 16:51:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is frightening. The world as you know it is changing and you have no control over the changes. The people you rely on to be your support system and emotional guidance are now going through an earthquake!
She has to remember that she is loved, that none of what is happening is because of her and that as life settles down it will be a new beginning for everyone. Try to be patient, speak up if the subject is something that needs to be dealt with right away and remember that life is ever changing. Hold on to who you are and what feels right in your gut. As much as she wants things to be the same as always, she can't dwell on what was. It will only cause her to be bitter and frustrated.
Embrace the newness, enjoy the time she has with each of her parents, and learn from their mistakes.
2007-09-07 16:57:35 · answer #4 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's tough. It is an emotionally hard time for both people usually. The leaver often feels a lot of guilt. The leavee often feels betrayed. In a lot of situations feelings are so tender that they end up fighting over some really stupid things. I do hope your friend doesn't ever have to deal with being put between her parents. Sometimes adults can act very childish when their all screwed up over this stuff.
2007-09-07 16:31:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
two christmas's....two thanks givings.....visits back and forth if one of the parents isn't a flake, and one on one relationships with each.
on the other hand, both will be emotionally messed up for a while most likely, or at least one will be....someone always loses in the break up game
2007-09-07 17:29:57 · answer #6 · answered by ELEcTrIc_HeD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything bad that you can imagine,,,multiply it by 10. It doesn't matter who it is,,,it has to be hard on them.
2007-09-07 16:27:58 · answer #7 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends .... to some it is heaven while to others it is hell.
2007-09-07 16:25:04 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥♥MiSSY♥♥♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋