although we didn't work in the same office. We talked on a regular basis and confided in each other a lot. I suspect he is trying to get back with his ex. He is very distant and we rarely talk. I am trying to give him his space and not bother him. I don't know if this is the right thing to do or not. I don't want to interfere with his life, but I love him and miss him. What should I do?
2007-09-07 16:01:57 · 8 answers · asked by zento1110 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
is he just a friend or has it crossed the line to something else? if it is truely a friendship, just give him a little time to figure it out. do go out of your but when you see him speak and maybe ask if he would like to go get cffee or lunch and just talk about thing in general so he will know you are there for him if he needs to talk. remind him that you can be just his friend and are willing to be there if he need to vent
2007-09-07 19:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by spicykat1949 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, let him know that you are grieving the loss of the friendship and that you do not know why it has changed? If he is unable to give a reason then accept it. Men are not as able as women to explain their emotional self and quite often they see being friends with a female when wanting to be with another one as being 'disloyal'.
All forms of grieving have a cycle in which we need to move through and you are in the initial Why? stage. This is where you are searching for answers to the 1,000 questions running around in your head as well as scenario's of what may be happening for him. 'Understanding' the need for space when in fact you don't understand it.
So, as I said above, talk to him and let him know your feelings with the expectation he may not want to reciprocate them and therefore reject you. The benefit of this for you is that you will be able to grieve honestly and eventually move on in your life.
Relationships in the workplace are always fraught with difficulties if they do not work out.
Keep your chin up it will get better.
2007-09-07 16:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by being honest with yourself. This is not a "friend" who you lost. You were/are in love with him. He has decided to go back to his marriage/girlfriend. It is time you let it go and started healing so you can be ready for the right person when he comes along. Time will help. There isn't really anything else you can do.
Good luck to you.
2007-09-07 16:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by Tibbar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whew, i thought somebody died or something... Let him know that you love him and give him the distance. If you let him go and he comes back to you, then you know it is real if he doesnt then it would never work anyway. If you try to force anything it won't work. If its love you shouldn't have to work for it. (If love is a gift then how can it be earned).. If none of that works for you, just keep telling yourself that men have oatmeal for brains...
One more thing.. The most disinterested party in a relationship is in control.
2007-09-07 16:09:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a call and tell him that u miss him and that if he ever feels the need to talk to someone, tell him u'd always be there for him no matter what. and just say how u feel. u can do it. just believe in yourself and then give him his space and when he finally makes his decision, he will probably call u or talk to you like the old way u used to
2007-09-07 16:07:38 · answer #5 · answered by asian_chicka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused.. why are you worried about his gf getting jealous if you talk with her dead ex bf?
2007-09-07 16:05:11 · answer #6 · answered by neverdugdisco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell your self that life must go on. she wouldn't want you to be all sad. i know its hard but its harder when your sad all the time.
i wish u luck
2007-09-07 16:05:50 · answer #7 · answered by lizz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, he doesn't feel the same about you, so let it go.
2007-09-07 16:04:39 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋